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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

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8 GIFs Of Unexpectedly Good Dancers

Posted 5/6/13 3:00 pm EST by in Funny, GIFs

park ranger.

The fine ladies of "Girl Code" addressed the art of dancing on last week's episode. They had illuminating discussions on "boobie popping" and suggestively sucking straws (which we couldn't more highly recommend). But given the time constraints of TV, they couldn't address one of our favorite dance subjects: The killer dancer who looks like an awful dancer. We love a good surprise...and when it comes in the form of a doughy white guy in a park ranger uniform moving like he was in "Wild Style," we love it even more. Here are eight examples that prove the surprisingly awesome dancer is the best dancer of all.

A lanky dude with a trombone

trombone

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'Mr. Balls,' Brazil's Testicular Health Mascot/Monster

Posted 5/6/13 2:00 pm EST by in Funny, News

mrballs
Photo: aapec.org.br

You might feel awkward when the doctor squeezes your nuts during annual physicals, but he's doing it for a reason: You have a 1-in-250 chance of developing testicular cancer, usually between the ages of 20 and 40. You don't wanna think about losing your sack, but you also wanna keep your life, so it's important to check yourself regularly.

However, guys are lazy and easily distracted. We begin to feel for lumps, then jack off and take a nap instead. We need someone--or something--to remind us about our health-related duty. And that someone/something is Mr. Balls, a giant, grinning scrotum that debuted (descended?) at a recent Brazilian cancer awareness festival, delighting everybody in attendance, except for those who need PTSD counseling now.

He's got eyes! He's got a couple teeth! He's got pubes...lots and lots of pubes. And he's got a message: RUN, RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN...to the nearest bathroom and perform a self-exam. More photos at Gawker and in your nightmares.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog

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A History Of The Hockey Mullet [Infographic]

Posted 5/6/13 1:00 pm EST by in Funny, Infographic, Sports

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Text: Sean Green (@seantgreen) is a standup comedian and podcast host living in LA
Design: Jim Tews (@jimtews) is a comedian and former quarterback for the Philadelphia Phillies.

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Movies You Loved As A Boy…That You'll Hate As A Man

Posted 5/6/13 12:00 pm EST by in Funny, Movies

Short Circuit Headline Pic
Photo: YouTube

"Dude, I love that movie!" Ehh, are you sure about that? Because the last time you saw it, you were 11 years old. You might want to give it a good re-watch and see how your grown-up brain feels. It's a sad phenomenon, but sometimes our favorite childhood movies turn out to be way worse than we remember. Below are just a few examples of movies we grew up with that turned out to be tragically unwatchable in our bearded years.

1. "Short Circuit"

Ben Jabituya
Photo: YouTube

Remember this one? "Johnny Five, is ALIVE!" Well, he'll be dead to you after watching it again. When you're a kid, this robot seems so cool and hilarious, because he says awesome stuff like, "We be jammin'!" But, in reality, Johnny Five is an unfunny, gear-grinding lemon that is undeserving of Steve Guttenberg's companionship.

Even worse, the wacky, stereotypical Indian scientist from the movie, Ben Jabituya, was actually played by Fisher Stevens--a white guy--making "Short Circuit" almost as racist as "Soul Man."

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How To Give A Better Gift Than Your Siblings On Mother's Day

Posted 5/6/13 11:00 am EST by in Funny

Daniele Petrucci v Leonard Bundu - Press Conference
Credit: Mario Carlini/Iguana Press

Over the years, your brother or sister has been robbing your mother's love right from under your nose. Today, that ends. Today, you charge your way into Mom's heart and throw your siblings off the Mountain of Maternal Love so you can claim the crown. Follow these steps and guarantee you'll give a better a gift than your siblings next Sunday.

Step #1: Snoop the Competition

sherlock
Credit: Getty Images

Light up a pipe and get Sherlock on your siblings. Bring up their web history, follow them to the mall, do whatever it takes to get a jump on what they'll be giving to Mom. The more information, the better. Get your brother's girlfriend drunk, sleep with your sister's friends or blackmail your dad. This is your chance to flex your James Bond style.

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Hungover Links: Super White Guy Flow, Unfriending Everyone & More

Posted 5/6/13 10:00 am EST by in News

women
Photo: Roar the dinosaur

While you were drinking...

  • When you see a guy in khakis and a cardigan entering an amateur freestyle battle, the bar is probably set pretty low. But this guy surprised the crowd with his super white guy flow.

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Comedy Central Tonight: Watch Dan Soder's 'The Half Hour'

Posted 5/3/13 4:00 pm EST by in Comedy, Interview, TV

soder2

One of our favorite additions to "Guy Code" in season three was Dan Soder, who delivered painfully gut-busting laughs. Comedy Central took notice, and now he's performing on "The Half Hour" tonight at 12/11C. As the name implies, it's thirty minutes of standup comedy...and judging by this preview clip, it's gonna be hilarious:

We caught up with Dan to ask about other topics he'll tackle on "The Half Hour," how he felt appearing on Conan and why some comedians are funny on stage but suck at Twitter.

Aside from hipster-bashing, what can we expect tonight?

There are definitely some "Guy Code"-related subjects like drinking, dating, a lot of that kind of stuff.

What have you been up to since season three ended?

I got a haircut, bought a sandwich with the money they gave me and have been taking a lot of naps. So basically, I've been like a lazy Forrest Gump.

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15 Amazing Tequila Facts To Use This Cinco De Mayo

Posted 5/3/13 4:00 pm EST by in Food, Funny

Mexico's Tequila Makers May Halt ProductionCredit: Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Chances are you're gonna put a lot of tequila in your body this weekend, never mind the horrific hangover (and police record?) that Cinco de Mayo brought you last year. The moment someone pulls out that bottle of magic, you've got a shot glass in hand and a stupid grin on your face that says, "I am horrible at learning lessons."

If you're determined to head down that path, try to learn some lessons about Cinco de Mayo itself. Here are strange-but-true facts that'll help you break the ice with señoritas at any bar or party.

1. Jose Cuervo was a real person

He was the first to commercialize and mass market tequila. (Also real: Jack Daniel, Jim Beam and Captain Morgan.)

2. Tequila was used as a flu remedy during Mexico's flu epidemic of 1918

NyQuil will also knock you out, but isn't nearly as much fun.

3. Scientists can turn tequila vapor into diamonds

Helpful since, after your girlfriend polishes off half a bottle of it, you'll probably have to pay for something.

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Would You Get A Tattoo For A Raise Like These Employees Did?

Posted 5/3/13 3:00 pm EST by in Funny, Tattoos

Rapid-Realty-NYC-Tattoo-Group-Shot
Credit: RealDeal.com

How far would you go to impress your boss? If you work at Rapid Realty, a New York City real estate firm, you can earn a 15% raise...for getting a tattoo of the company logo.

Forty out of 750 employees have already gotten inked. The tattoos can be hidden--unlike a Mitt Romney logo face tat--but that doesn't make it any less permanent. If any of these workers jump ship and head to the competition, do they ask for laser tattoo removal in their benefits package? And how far away are we, really, from human billboards?

"My wife was a little concerned," a Rapid Realty staffer told the New York Daily News, "but I said, 'You know what? It was the best commitment I could think of.'"

We can't blame a guy for getting paid extra...but no matter what color your tattoo is, after kissing your boss's ass this hard, your nose is gonna be spattered with brown.

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10 Things From Mexico We're Thankful For

Posted 5/3/13 2:00 pm EST by in Celebs, Food, Funny

Pennsylvania Town To Crack Down On Illegal Immigration
Credit: William Thomas Cain/Getty Images

Mexico is our neighbor. And we love those guys. Without 'em, we wouldn't have a badass Spring Break destination...and a bunch of other stuff we're grateful for. With Cinco de Mayo right around the corner, we're saying "gracias, Mexico" for making our lives better with the following contributions.

1. Tacos

Street Food Thursday Launches In Berlin
Credit: Sean Gallup/Getty Images

Not since the Italians gave us pizza has something so frikkin' delicious taken over the U.S.A. Honestly, if we were forced to eat one thing for the rest of our glowing existence, we'd choose tacos. We don't know one person who doesn't like 'em...but if we met them, rest assured, we wouldn’t trust them any more than we'd trust Wiz Khalifa with our stash.

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