Posted 5/14/13 10:00 am EST by Guy Code Staff in News
"Thank you, helpful signage" via @EnglishJason
While you were drinking...
Posted 5/13/13 4:30 pm EST by Ryan McKee in Funny, TV, Video
"Game of Thrones" geeks like Jon Gabrus have been eagerly anticipating last night's episode. Brienne of Tarth has to battle a grizzly bear with a wooden sword while wearing clothing that's completely foreign to her, a pink dress. Truthfully, Gabrus wasn't as excited for the fight as much as he was for more Brienne. He just can't help but be attracted to that bear of a woman.
The photo above is a great hint towards this week's Most Guy Code Moment. No, Gabrus doesn't award the bear the honor. Watch the video below for the full explanation. Plus, Gabrus even gives us the bonus of naming the Least Guy Code Moment as well.
Posted 5/13/13 3:00 pm EST by RG Daniels in Funny
Credit: Steven Puetzer/Getty Images
Last month we managed to track down "Dave," a member of the elusive Illuminati organization, who answered "Guy Code" fans' burning questions. After explaining how he orchestrated the Bulls' first round win and messing around with Beibs, "Dave" agreed to answer more Illuminati inquiries. Once again, through a series of complicated sources and connections, we've made this happen.
Whats the plan #askanilluminati
— Austin_Williams (@spinnerwilliams) May 6, 2013
We love when people ask this! The plan is very simple: First, we lead you to believe that you are your own person, a unique snowflake with a brain full of fluffy dreams, puppy dogs, rainbows and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Meanwhile, we kick back with drinks and "Fresh Prince" reruns after a long day of combining animal species and conversations with aliens from space.
@mtv2guycode #AskAnIlluminati if we ask about it will we die?
— SavageEdward (@EdwardHardy_3) May 6, 2013
Posted 5/13/13 2:00 pm EST by Guy Code Staff in Interview, Ladies, Relationships
Credit: Peter Dazeley
Even in our age of social network oversharing, there's some stuff we don't advertise online...and it doesn't get more private than being tested for sexually transmitted diseases. But a new site, JustBeenTested.com, aims to make it something we all post.
Not sure about this? We spoke with founder Alonzo Davis, who explained how it can actually improve your relationship status.
Social networks are traditionally for party pics and cat videos. Are people really gonna upload their medical info?
We verify that you've been tested for an STD or STI; we don't verify what you were tested for and what your results were. The verified test date gives you a little information into someone's sexual health but not everything.
The idea is to make getting tested popular, primarily for 18- to 24-year-olds. We want to combine social networking, creating a profile, blogging and having an opinion into the same pot as sexual health. The typical approach to HIV and STD awareness is pretty outdated, so this is a new spin on things. Most safe sex campaigns are boring and depressing--a guy sitting on the edge of a bed, holding his head, looking in the mirror 'cause he's ashamed...enough of that!
Posted 5/13/13 1:00 pm EST by RG Daniels in Food, Ladies, Relationships
Credit: Matthew Peyton/Getty Images
Some men cringe at the word "vegetarian", but there are major rays of sunshine when dating one. Also, major pits of hell. We'd like to be really clear here: We're talking about dating a vegetarian. Not a vegan (we can't trust anyone who willingly turns down ice cream), not a "junk food vegetarian" (someone who substitutes meat for Doritos, Lucky Charms and Snickers) and not a "pescetarian" (someone who eats fish, but doesn't eat other meat or Joe Pesce). Here are the positives and negatives you have to balance...
Vegetarians are health-conscious gals who might just keep you in better shape, too. We're not doctors over here, but we believe a healthy body means a lot more fun behind closed doors, even if the door is a curtain of hippie beads she bought at Bonnaroo last year.
The thing about relationships is that it takes waaaaay longer for a girl to be comfortable with her rips than a dude. Doesn't mean she won't do it. Chicks fart. And believe us, after a sizzling broccoli stir-fry with tofu and onions, you don't wanna be within a two-mile radius of that gas.
Posted 5/13/13 12:00 pm EST by Guy Code Staff in Today's Dumbass
Credit: AFP/Getty Images
Good fences make good neighbors, unless you're neighbors with Barry Swegle of Port Angeles, Washington, who--furious over a fence that blocked his logging equipment--allegedly bulldozed four houses, a truck, a boat and an electrical pole, knocking out power to thousands of people.
Nobody got hurt, although one woman (and her chihuahua) narrowly escaped. A local resident told reporters that the 51-year-old "just went nuts," and Swegle's brother confirmed it: "I knew he was capable of tearing the fence out. Not the homes and the power pole. I didn't think he was that mad."
Police are charging Swegle with first-degree assault and malicious mischief. Here's video of the destruction...to be fair, it is an ugly-ass fence:
Posted 5/13/13 11:00 am EST by Neal Stastny in Funny
Credit: Marcus Mb Photography
How could you be so inconsiderate? This is the woman who gave birth to you, cared for you, and you couldn't even remember to make so much as a phone call on Mother's Day? Shame on you!
OK, enough guilt. Now it's time to figure out how you should handle this. Your options aren't as simple or easy as buying flowers, but you should've done that yesterday.
Sometimes to spare Mom's feelings (and to cover your own ass), you have to tell a little lie. Call her on Monday and ask how she likes her gift. When she says she didn't get it, act surprised and angry at those jerks at Amazon. Then tell her you love her, hang up, go online ASAP and pay extra for overnight delivery.
Spend serious cash on something really nice, something that looks like it required a lot of thought. Give it to Mom and say, "Surprise! I bet you thought I really forgot Mother's Day!" She will probably think this is a horrible idea, but she also probably thinks you're enough of a f***-up to actually do it.
Posted 5/13/13 10:00 am EST by Guy Code Staff in News
"salami garnish" via @AndrewTShaffer
While you were drinking...
Posted 5/10/13 4:00 pm EST by Kara Klenk in Funny
Photo: Jason Verschoor
It's not difficult to make your mom happy on Sunday. All she wants is a card...and flowers...and maybe credit at the spa...and one too many mimosas at brunch. But really, she just wants to be proud of you, which is difficult if you get arrested right before Mother's Day. She doesn't want to spend her special day arguing with a bail bondsman or the county sheriff, sorting out your mess. Here are few dudes who definitely blew it for Mom this week.
Photo: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office
Fill this under "Only In Florida." Twenty-year-old Bryan Zuniga allegedly bailed from his car during a traffic stop, scaled a fence and evaded police...but just when he thought he'd ditched the fuzz, he came face-to-face with an alligator behind a water-treatment plant. He survived, but Mom has to spend Mother's Day putting ointment on his alligator bites. Read More...
Posted 5/10/13 3:00 pm EST by Michael Pomranz in Funny
Credit: Juanmonino
Mother's Day is hard for guys. It's one of the two days a year where you have to remember to call your mom. (May God's light shine upon you if Mother's Day happens to fall on your mom's birthday!)
When you talk to her, keep it quick and to the point. Don't make this completely unnecessary holiday any harder than it has to be by slipping into taboo mother/son topics. Trust us, when it comes to this relationship, some things are best left unsaid. Frighteningly, it's like your relationship with your girlfriend that way. Here are five confessions to avoid with Mom...and maybe your girlfriend too.
Growing up, I hated my mom's cooking. (My name's not going on this thing, right?) The meatloaf she used to make back in the '80s tasted exactly like...well, meatloaf. Terrible.
But know who else hates your mom's cooking? Your mom. She wishes she could serve a gourmet meal on a silver platter every night, but that's just not gonna happen. Also, you were a worthless, picky kid who needed to eat, so she cooked calorie-packed garbage for you so you'd survive. And survive you did, so don't you ever complain.
Back in high school, at this raging weekend BBQ, some guy was on the phone screaming, "Mom, I'm on mushrooms! It's awesome!" At the time I remember thinking, "Whoa, it's amazing how close of a relationship that guy has with his mother. That's really cool!" What I now realize in retrospect is that guy was tripping f***ing face and his mom wanted nothing to do with the call.
Look, your mom already knows. She constantly smelled the stench of marijuana on your clothes back when you were naive enough to think she didn't know what marijuana smells like. The last thing Mom wants is to be an accomplice when the DEA takes you down, so leave her out of it.
The 5 Hottest Teachers Fired For Being Too Sexy
Chris Distefano & Carly Aquilino Explain How They Started Dating, Kinda
The 10 Best Slang Terms For Female 'Alone Time'