Guy Code Blog - Part 4

Don't Be That Guy Who Trips On Stage At Graduation

Posted 5/17/13 3:00 pm EST by Adam K. Raymond in Funny, GIFs

trip gif

Graduation ceremonies are painfully boring. Remember what it was like, as a kid, to be trapped in front of a TV playing the news? A graduation is like that, but with ill-fitting robes.

That butt-numbing boredom inevitably inspires people to try spicing up the affair. Often, they'll make bad inside jokes that only half the crowd gets...while friends and family wish for an even bigger asteroid to strike the stage. But even inside (more like insipid) jokes aren't as bad as the worst thing that can befall a graduation ceremony: Someone pretending to trip as he accepts his diploma.

Tags Advice, Falling down., Funny, Graduation

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Alesha Renee Answers Your Questions [Video]

Posted 5/17/13 2:00 pm EST by Ryan McKee in Ladies, The Show, Video

Credit: FilmMagic

Alesha Renee did two seasons of "Guy Code" before moving on to the pinker pastures of "Girl Code." We missed her take in season three, so we caught her during a shoot and asked her some of your questions from Twitter and Facebook.

Want to know how to pick up girls at the gym? How about whether women ever respond to cat calls? And have you ever thought about what Tourettes Syndrome code would be? Alesha breaks this all down and more in the following video.

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10 Instruments That Will Never Get You Laid [Photos]

Posted 5/17/13 1:00 pm EST by Zachary Sims in Music, Photos

Ellen DeGeneres' Australian Tour - Melbourne Show
Credit: Scott Barbour/Getty Images

Everybody knows that ladies love guys who can play an instrument--especially if it's a guitar--but for every rock star swimming in groupies, there's a bassoon player sitting in the corner, playing "Magic The Gathering." Here are some instruments to avoid, unless you're getting tired of all that sex you've been having.

1. Tuba

Tuba Players
Credit: Erich Auerbach/Getty Images

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Katherine Webb Is An MTV Correspondent At The Hangout Music Fest

Posted 5/17/13 10:58 am EST by Guy Code Staff in Ladies, Music

katherine-webb-sexy

The Hangout Music Festival kicks off today on the white sand beaches of Gulf Shores, Alabama, with a lineup that includes headliners the Kings of Leon, Stevie Wonder and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, plus Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Kendrick Lamar, Ellie Goulding and a whole lot more.

It'll be a party for sure, but if you can't make it down to the beach, don't worry: MTV is joining forces with VH1 and CMT to stream all of the best moments from Hangout 2013 on our official Hangout Hub.

All this sounds great, but we haven't gotten to the best news yet. The very sexy Katherine Webb will be one of MTV's correspondents at the festival. The girlfriend of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron, Webb is famous for nearly causing football commentator Brent Musberger to pass out on live TV when cameras found her in the crowd at this year's BCS National Championship Game. She's parlayed that 15 seconds of fame into national modeling work, a spot on the ABC reality show "Splash" and now working a gig with us!

Fans can livestream the Fest at Hangout.MTV.com on May 17, 18 and 19.

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Tags Katherine Webb, MTV, the hangout music fest

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Hungover Links: Johnny Depp's Fossil, Human Chainsaw & More

Posted 5/17/13 6:30 am EST by Guy Code Staff in News

You've-had-enoigh
photo via funwillbe

While you were drinking...

A really attractive woman breaks a sweat in her workout video...unaware that her boyfriend is taking a dump in the background. You have to watch this.

TNA wrestler Austin Aries was fined for shoving her junk in another wrestler's face, all on video.

Scientists named a fossil after Johnny Depp.

A ton of fake websites are devoted to a silly universe where "Arrested Development" is real.

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If You Don't Have Kids, You Must Follow DINK Code

Posted 5/16/13 5:00 pm EST by Ryan McKee in Funny

childfree-poster2
Via FakePosters.com

If you grew up believing that marriage, children and a house payment are inevitable, congratulations, you're 60 years old and our oldest reader. Those things are all options, of course, but for a variety of reasons (poor housing market, progressive thought, improved birth control, high unemployment rate) those things are no longer a given.

DINKs (Double Income, No Kids) are on the rise. Couples living together in committed (or occasionally open) relationships with no intention of having children. Choosing not to procreate is becoming more socially acceptable.

There are plenty of blogs, scientific studies, standup comedy acts, '70s ballads, one-man shows, books, etc. out there to convince you to have or not have kids. That's not what this column is about. These are simply rules you must live by if you decide to live childfree. If you don't, you'll give the rest of us a bad rep.
Read More...

Tags childfree, Children, dinks, Rules

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5 Lessons 'Star Trek' Can Teach You About Being A Man

Posted 5/16/13 4:00 pm EST by Harry Maccormack in Funny, Movies

Credit: Paramount Pictures

As the next step in J.J. Abram's plan to become lord of the geeks, "Star Trek Into Darkness" is due to release this Friday. So before you go out to see the crew of the Starship Enterprise kick ass all over the galaxy and battle a villain played by the man with the world's most British name, Benedict Cumberbatch (really?), here are some lessons Star Trek can teach you about Guy Code.

Never Fight Your Best Friend

This one should be pretty obvious. The fight is almost always over something that pales in comparison to your friendship. Remember what happened that time Spock needed to get laid? Of course you do, no one could forget that cringe worthy fight music.
Read More...

Tags Advice, spock, star wars, Video

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10 Bloody Marys That Prove America's Superiority

Posted 5/16/13 3:00 pm EST by Adam K. Raymond in Food, Funny

brewers bloodym
photo via Redditor buttermouth

Until last week, Fond du Lac, Wisconsin was a nothing town with a goofy French name that most men would have never cared to visit. And then it abruptly became a religious site worthy of a pilgrimage by land, air or sea. Why the switch? Because of the righteous Bloody Mary above served at O'Davey’s Pub. This behemoth comes standard with popcorn, bacon, sausage, a slider cut in half, pickles, olives, vegetables, peanuts, weird looking cheese curds, tortilla chips, a chunk of nacho cheese and, somehow, beans. And it only cost $5.

This marvel of alcoholic ingenuity inspired us to further explore over-the-top Bloody Marys. What we found was awe-inspiring. All across this great nation there are brilliant bartenders appealing to fat drunks with cocktails that are more accessorized than Kesha on a red carpet. Here are some of our favorites:
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Tags Bloody Mary, cocktail garnish, Drink, Food, Wisconsin

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The Most Embarrassing Things Guys Can Be Caught Buying

Posted 5/16/13 2:00 pm EST by Aaron Goldfarb in Funny

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Credit: Image Source

There's a reason self-checkout machines now exist--so we don't have to deal with human-beings when we're making embarrassing purchases. Unfortunately, sometimes you can't avoid the judging eye of the hot register girl and will get caught buying something you'd rather not be seen with. From the obvious to the less so, these are the 10 items or less that will make you pray for self-checkout.

Jock itch cream

Of all the terrible ailments you could have--and have to publicly purchase medicine for--there's nothing worse than having to let the world know your groin is currently flaming like a campfire. Be thankful, at least you're not picking up some Valtrex.
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Tags Funny, Guy Code, WTF

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5 Movies That Taught Us Guy Code

Posted 5/16/13 1:00 pm EST by Will Garre in Comedy, Funny, Movies

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 12.59.45 PM Credit: Stringer/Getty Images

As we learned last week, many of our favorite boyhood flicks are better left in the past. Fortunately, there are plenty of films from our youth that, aside from standing the test of time, were integral to our development into the strong, successful, unflappable supermen we are today. As we enjoy the gift of manhood, we should look back and give a nod to those special movies that laid down the law and taught us Guy Code.

'Boyz N The Hood'

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 8.07.00 AM Photo: YouTube

Lesson: Never split up

This always happens in movies. Someone decides it's a good idea to split up, and then everyone gets systematically murdered. Don't do it. That's how Ricky died, and all he was doing was walking to the store for some milk and scratch tickets. Also, with all due respect to Ricky and his family, he was a fool for stopping to pee on that wall. (Mini-lesson: No public urination in the midst of a potential drive-by.)
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Tags '80s movies, '90s movies, Boyz n the Hood, Breaking Away, Jackie Earle Haley, La Bamba, Stand by Me, The Outsiders

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