Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
One of the best things about the holidays is catching up with people whom you may not get the chance to see too often. Unless, of course, you dread the question, "Where are you working these days?"
Everyone has rough patches in their life and career, and it's extra rough when those patches coincide with the holidays. If you're unemployed and don't want to tell anyone, we're here to help. These job titles will sound real enough to be convincing...and boring enough to discourage follow-up questions.
1. Operations And Logistics Coordinator
This one is a mouthful, especially if you add "for global supply chain strategy consultants," but it doesn't really matter anyway because people will have stopped listening after the word "operations."
If pressed to explain, just say that you analyze production, purchasing, shipping and receiving for various companies. Your job will sound boring but important. If people keep asking tough questions, you can always start complaining about the new version of Microsoft Excel.
2. Brand Management For Social Media Trends
You might not know a lot about real jobs, but you probably know enough about Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get by in a short conversation. Make up a company that sounds like a Silicon Valley startup -- like "SourceGroove" or something -- and say it's your job to "integrate" and "cross pollinate" social media platforms to boost companies' online profiles.
You can also distract people by talking about how many beanbag chairs and ping pong tables your office has.
When I and some other writers were invited to Gillette World Shaving Headquarters to learn about the research and development that go into making razors, I was surprised to find myself actually interested.
I rarely shave. My boss doesn't require me to and my girlfriend doesn't mind stubble, so I don't have the motivation to wake up any earlier than necessary. Maybe I'm just lazy, but it's easier to drag an electric trimmer across my face a couple times a week.
While I don't use razors, I still notice the advertisements boasting about the huge steps in razor technology. Are these advances are based on actual research? Or are they just invented to make the product look futuristic? It turns out, there is way more research on razor technology than I thought possible.
The tour began with a PowerPoint presentation detailing some of the research that Gillette does when designing new razors. We were shown extremely close-up videos of different razors cutting actual facial hair. Two things stood out. First, highly magnified images of someone's skin are disgusting. We're all gross from close up. Second, the number of blades on a razor and their spacing seem to really matter. Two-bladed razors miss a lot more hair than three-bladed ones. When blades are set too far apart, a lot hair gets stuck between them. If the blades too close, the hair just gets. Read More...
Our final autumn Instagram roundup includes some of Miss Aquilino's "Girl Code" co-stars. These ladies make us laugh every week while they let us in on the secrets of the other Code. We finally feel like we understand the women around us. Well, sort of. We will never fully understand women. But we certainly enjoy their Instagram photos:
"True Life: I'm Doing A Tough Mudder" premieres tomorrow at 4/3c on MTV. If you're not familiar with Tough Mudder, where have you been? We covered it over a year ago. It's "Probably The Toughest Event On The Planet," according to their website.
The show follows three competitors as they train for and compete in a Tough Mudder. Like most "True Life" episodes, each of the main characters have unique backgrounds and motivations. "Girly-girl" Amanda is doing it so people will take her more seriously. "Super-competitive" Brett wants to best his twin, so he'll have bragging rights for life. And Noah, who is a double-amputee, wants to prove he can do by himself.
"Chubby blogger" Ryan McKee decided to run Tough Mudder because I thought it'd make a funny video (and I knew there'd be free Dos Equus there). The promoters offered to let me do it for free if I covered it on Guy Code Blog. But they didn't tell me that until a few days beforehand, so I didn't train, I didn't prepare and I didn't even get a good night's sleep beforehand. The result is the following video:
If that doesn't inspire you to sign up for the next Tough Mudder, maybe the preview of tomorrow's show will.
+ Watch "True Life: I'm Doing A Tough Mudder" on Saturday, December 8th at 4/3c
With 2013 soon fading into memory, we wanted to show some love to the ladies who helped us kill countless hours while glued to our flat screens. With the ability to render our favorite female characters in such high definition, it’s no wonder why sales of next-generation gaming consoles are through the roof.
Whether they're helping us take down a wanted terrorist or stepping into the ring to kick some ass, the one thing they all have in common is how great they look while in action.
10. Tracey DeSanta ("GTA V")
Credit: Rockstar Games
Are you a guy who just loves to date the spoiled, rebellious type with daddy issues? Then Tracey is your girl. We liked her because of her rough exterior and her ability to get in trouble once in awhile. The back tattoo didn't hurt either.
One of the great things about alcohol is that, if you do something truly embarrassing, there's a good chance you won't remember it by the next morning. Actually, maybe that's a bad thing, because other people will remember it. In case you've forgotten what happened, here are telltale signs you might have humiliated yourself the previous night.
1. Encore! Encore!
You groggily stumble out of your bedroom, at noon, and all of your roommates -- gathered in the living room -- immediately laugh and offer a round of applause. Take a bow (over the toilet bowl most likely), because you're in for a solid hour of them recounting your previous evening's shameful antics.
2. Call Logs
Upon waking up, the first thing you'll normally do is reach for your smartphone. When you wake up hungover, though, that's a frightening proposition. Grab an Advil and a glass of water, because you're going to have to spend your morning piecing together how exactly you embarrassed yourself the previous night, carefully examining whom you called (it's in the double digits), when you called them and any plans you might've made via text. Ah, for those glorious olden days of landlines and answering machines.
Back in August, Melanie Iglesias gave mankind a super early Christmas present by licking ice cream on YouTube for one spectacular minute. We probably don't have to remind you, because it's permanently seared into your memory. But since today's Friday and you deserve a frozen treat, here it is again...
The holidays are coming up soon, which means you'll be spending lots of time with the family. Of course, you'll want to play the latest decapitate-a-thon or bloody first-person shooter -- however, these might reduce Mom to a pearl-clutching mess. No worries, though, we've got your back with a grip of fun titles that li'l bro can play...and you'll secretly enjoy, also.
1. "Super Mario 3D World" (Wii U)
Mario's back on the Wii U and he's brought all his friends. Taking a few cues from the smaller, portable "3D Land" title, "3D World" promises bigger levels and more fun. There are even new power ups such as Cat Mario. What makes "SM3DW" a great title for the family is vibrant colors, fun themes and lighthearted gameplay. It's perfect for getting a younger brother involved in games.
2. "The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds" (3DS)
Take another trip down memory lane with this spiritual successor to the Super Nintendo title of days gone by. With updated graphics, a fantastic remixed soundtrack and tricky dungeons, this is a great entry into the world of Zelda. Older players will love the classic feel and newcomers will have a kid-friendly romp.
Stick around for our final autumn Instagram collection tomorrow when we round up photos from the "Girl Code" girls. Come on now, we couldn't leave the rest of those fine ladies out. For now, enjoy Miss Aquilino's best fall photos: