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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

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5 Videos Of Famous People Falling In Public

Posted 3/19/13 4:00 pm EST by in Funny, Sports, Video

85th Annual Academy Awards - Show
Credit: Getty Images

We're all embarrassed by different things--height, weight, birthmarks, desperate rebounds after a breakup--but falling in public is a universal embarrassment. No matter how coordinated you are, sooner or later you'll slip on an invisible banana peel. The problem for celebrities and athletes is they're constantly on camera, so the whole world can laugh at their clumsiness. Hey, we're all human...but we're not all on YouTube.

1. Mariah Carey Slips Mid-Performance

An extremely pregnant Mariah Carey takes a wayward step. The party of two made it out OK, thankfully, so you're allowed to smirk at their bout with gravity.

+ For more on embarrassment, watch "Guy Code" next Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2

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5 Public Speaking Tips From Subway Bums

Posted 3/19/13 3:00 pm EST by in Funny

Winter Bus Serves The Homeless As Temperatures Fall
Credit: Adam Berry/Getty Images

There's a reason why public speaking is the #1 most common fear: it's super embarrassing if you fail. (Just ask any guy who's had too many drinks before delivering a wedding toast.) But if you want to succeed in life, you've gotta learn how to address a crowd. Here's some rhetorical lessons from public speakers who seemingly can't be embarrassed: Subway bums.

1. Don't Be Intimidated

The subway bum bursts into your packed car spouting a message of faith, a sad tale of hopelessness or just incomprehensible ranting. And you're too scared to raise your hand in English class? Man up, speak out.

2. Ignore The Haters

While most passengers continue reading or listening to music, the less sensitive will yell out insults and taunts. Yet the subway bum soldiers on, as if he can't even hear his detractors. So should you...although you'll have fewer of them if you shower.

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The 5 Different Types Of P.E. Teacher

Posted 3/19/13 2:00 pm EST by in Art, Funny, The Show

PE-teachers
Illustrations by Bryan Hollingsworth

Physical Education is either a reason to look forward to school or a living hell, depending on the teacher with a whistle at the front of the room. Who is this person? Where did they come from? How did they get hired? What kind of training did they even receive? (We have a hard time picturing them in the same room as math teachers.)

Whatever the answers, the P.E. teacher is a character to behold. We all remember ours, so here's a look back at the days of sweatpants and 3-on-3 hoops.

+ For more on teachers, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2

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5 Embarrassing Things Guys Will Never Stop Doing

Posted 3/19/13 1:00 pm EST by in Funny, The Show

Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League
Credit: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

We're supposed to learn from our mistakes, because negative consequences theoretically change our behavior. But when it comes to some embarrassing actions, dudes just can't help ourselves. Every guy in history has made similar blunders--you're not the first, you're not the last--so don't feel totally ashamed of yourself next time.

1. The Horrible Throw

You know you should walk to the trash can and drop your refuse inside. But wouldn't it be badass, you think, to throw it with a skyhook that would make Kareem Abdul-Jabbar jealous? After you miss by several feet, you explain to any witnesses how not even Kareem could accurately throw a crumpled-up piece of paper that weighs less than an ounce.

2. Getting Caught Staring

The hot girl sitting across from you on the bus catches you checking her out. You immediately pretend to look at your phone, but keep glancing back at her to see whether she's still glancing at you. Good luck striking up a conversation, Romeo.

+ For more on embarrassment, watch "Guy Code" next Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2

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Infographic: Best Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Posted 3/19/13 12:00 pm EST by in Funny, Relationships, The Show

Spicing Thing Up Graphic Final

You're eating some dope chicken nuggets and grab the barbecue sauce to spice them up, but it's empty. The nuggets are still tasty, but boring. This is what it's like when you've been with your girl long enough that your sex life has gone stale. She's the nuggets, you're you and the barbecue sauce is the only trick you know.

You don't need a new girlfriend, you need new tricks. The internet has given us a sex industry revolution. You just have to be comfortable enough to try it out. When you try something new in bed, it's all about being comfortable with the risk. For instance, don't jump to whips and chains until you've watched a bondage porn with your girl.

To help you out, we jerry-rigged one of those arcade "Love Testers" to show you the ballsiest and wimpiest ways to spice up your love life. Feel free to print out the above image and hang it next to your bed.

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Charlie Kasov (@charliekasov) is a comedian and editor of Pride Incredulous.

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Sneak Peek Video: Driving Teachers Crazy

Posted 3/19/13 11:00 am EST by in MTV2, The Show, Video

8008 boob

Teachers have it rough. They're overworked, underpaid and expected to perform miracles when they're not reduced to babysitters. As an adult you'll appreciate what teachers did for you back in the day, but as a kid you made their lives hell. Like Dan Soder, "undercutting whatever the teacher said." Or Damien Lemon, written up for being a troublemaker. Or Chris Distefano, who pioneered the mathematical formula above.

Check out this clip from tonight's "Guy Code," and then watch the full episode at 11/10c on MTV2.

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Hungover Links: Rocky Balboa's House, Testicle Ninjas & More

Posted 3/19/13 10:00 am EST by in News

horse
Photo via Rats Off!

While you were drinking...

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Jermaine Fowler's Pro Tip: Walking Through A Bad Neighborhood

Posted 3/18/13 5:00 pm EST by in MTV2, The Show, Video

uglier-the-better

Sometimes you make a wrong turn and wind up in an area that's dead quiet...y'know, except for the gunshots. You've never loved cops, but you wouldn't mind seeing one now. In the meantime, you've gotta look tough. Here's Jermaine Fowler's advice from the next episode of "Guy Code," which airs Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2.

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Today's Dumbass: Student Kicked Out For Essay On Hot Teacher

Posted 3/18/13 4:00 pm EST by in Today's Dumbass

hot teacher
Credit: Valentin Casarsa

Joseph Corlett dreamed of graduating from Oakland University with a degree in writing. Unfortunately, the 57-year-old's literary work got him suspended. Specifically, an essay titled "Hot for Teacher," about how badly he wanted to bang his professor:

"There is no way I'll concentrate in class especially with that sexy little mole on her upper lip beckoning with every accented word. And that smile.

"I've had a few worries lately, the first that Lynn Anne, my wife, would read this. But now I don't care. I suppose my fear is a good sign that I'm writing honestly.

"She walks in, and I say to myself, ‘Drop, mother (expletive), drop.' Christ, I'll never learn a thing. Tall, blond, stacked, skirt, heels, fingernails, smart, articulate, smile. I'm toast, but I stay."

Now, of course, Corlett is suing for violation of his First Amendment rights, because 'Murica. Click below for all the sultry details on this class assignment gone awry.

MORE: "College Student’s Final Essay Detailing Teacher’s Hotness Gets Him Kicked Out of School; He’s Suing"

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Life Lessons From Ty Cobb Quotes

Posted 3/18/13 3:00 pm EST by in Funny, Sports

Ty Cobb Athletics Portrait 1927
Credit: Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

Ty Cobb, who played outfield from 1905 to 1928, was a record-setting hothead known for being a complete badass. We collected his greatest quotes to show what you can learn from this Major League legend.

"Baseball is a red-blooded sport for red-blooded men. It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It's a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest."

Here, Mr. Cobb is driving home how competitive baseball is. Life is a lot like baseball, and it ain't for the weak. You wanna get comfy and let the world spin as it may, then go right ahead. Otherwise, get tough, endure the struggle and excel to the top. (Any guy who uses the term "mollycoddles" knows how to make a point, especially if he seems capable of twisting your head off.)

"To get along with me, don't increase my tension."

In other words: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Much like the Incredible Hulk, Mr. Cobb had no time for bulls***. We feel the same way, every day. We can do without the stress of whatever drama people might bring to the table. The best way to handle it is by staying away from infuriating idiots. If they increase your tension, cut 'em out!

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