Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
This season of "Guy Code" had too many classic moments to count, let alone whittle down to a handful of favorites. We asked the show's producers to try anyway...and they somehow got it down to, like, 45. After a long night spent debating the merits of each, we finally arrived at this list. Here are the Season Three lines that will live on in the history books...or, at least, on Twitter.
13. Jermaine Fowler On Getting Fat
"The only difference between fat black guys and fat white guys is that fat white dudes sing opera and fat black dudes sing R&B."
12. Kevin Barnett On Religion
"Change religions for a girl? That's crazy. Can you imagine what your boys would say? 'Kevin's so whipped, he's Jewish!'"
11. Chris Distefano On Being Stoned
"You can't tell me Plato and Socrates weren't stoned. They used to sit in a toga with their balls hanging out, claiming that they knew life's secrets. They were so stoned, it was unbelievable."
10. Jordan Carlos On Apologizing
"It takes only two words to apologize to a man and they're not, 'I'm sorry.' It's, 'We good?"
The season three finale "Guy Code" was a big one! Not only did we get the bookends to "Hot Girl On A Bicycle" with "Hot Girl Shooting Hoops" and "Hot Girl Walking Her Dog," plus a break-in from the "Girl Code" cast talking about penises, we also learned all about dads, being embarrassed, falling in love and guys' night out. Good thing they jammed so much into this episode since it's the last one we'll get for awhile! I know, we're sad too. However, you can relive last night's episode by clicking here, plus here are the funniest illustrations and GIFs to help you along.
And remember to keep checking the Guy Code Blog every day for new content. We'll keep you entertained and informed until the next season returns.
You only live once, but you might repeat junior year. Kyron Birdine, a Texas high school student, wrote "YOLO" on the essay portion of his STAAR test (a state standardized exam) and tweeted the photo. Administrators, who considered it a "breach of security," suspended him for four days.
Although Birdine didn't photograph any questions or answers, it was probably a mistake to tag the local school district and the Texas Education Agency in the tweet. (He resented having to take the STAAR in addition to another exam, the TAKS.) Thing is, states takes these tests incredibly seriously. Too seriously. But if you don't feel like taking it, put the camera down and just fill in letter "A" for every question to get out early.
Whether or not the school overreacted, let's all agree that "YOLO" is friggin'over. The phrase only lived once, and now it's dead...just like your academic career if you tweet it.
All good things come to an end, and this season of "Guy Code" was pretty damn great. If you don't know what to do with yourself now that it's over, rest easy, 'cause we've got some clips from the "Cutting Room Floor."
Savor these extra morsels about the only thing you can teach your dad, how to downplay a guys' night out when your lady asks questions, and April Rose's #1 rule for saying "I love you." Parting might be such sweet sorrow, but Guy Code is with you always.
The upside of monogamy is sex (pretty much) whenever you want it. The downside is that sex can get repetitive after awhile. But if you want to talk your girl into trying something weird, you've gotta get creative in bed...like, while you're still in pajamas, not actually naked, as Jon Gabrus explains in this clip from the season finale of "Guy Code." You'll never look at Wonder Woman the same way again.
Think back to the beginning of "Guy Code" season three. We brought you April Rose in "Hot Girl On A Bicycle." That was a great day, wasn't it? Well, tonight's season finale brings you the companion pieces for that glorious video.
As you can see above, the first showcases the lovely Melanie Iglesias playing basketball in slow-motion. This is way better than watching LeBron James mess around and get a triple-double. Plus, the "Hot Girl Shooting Hoops" isn't the only video tonight that'll make your girlfriend jealous. There is a second that's top secret.
Your lady can take comfort though in knowing she gets to see a sneak peek of the all-new "Girl Code" series if she tunes in as well at 11/10c on MTV2.
You think a girl rejecting you is embarrassing? PSSHT! When a kangaroo kicks your ass, THAT'S embarrassing. You're supposed to be part of the smartest species, so it's pretty shameful to get put in your place by such a cute rascal...even if it can land a left, thump you with its hind legs and (added bonus) has razor-sharp talons that cut through flesh like a machete through Texas brisket.
Here's five videos of kangaroos making humans look foolish, and advice for the victims on how to recover.
HOW TO GET OVER IT: The poor kid's parents should find a good shrink. He's bound to be traumatized. You might also wanna skip buying Dunk-a-Roos for his lunches.
+ For more on embarrassment, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
Over the weekend "Guy Code" hit a pretty incredible milestone: 100,000 Twitter followers. Not to get all emotional, but we're honored that we mean so much to so many. And so is Melanie Iglesias, who recorded a quick video to thank y'all...and to mark another milestone: Tonight's "Guy Code" season finale at 11/10c on MTV2.