Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Last week CIA Director David Petraeus resigned over his extramarital affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, whose book about the four-star general had the unfortunate (considering the circumstances) title "All In." Some Internet smart-ass Photoshopped it to read "All Up In My Snatch." Nobody could possibly mistake the parody cover for the real thing...
Until, that is, a staffer at Denver's ABC News affiliate was either asleep or drunk at the wheel, and juxtaposed the ludicrous "Snatch" image with real-life video of Broadwell. The station later apologized and explained:
"It was a regrettable and an embarrassing error. We are mortified this appeared during our 5 p.m. news broadcast. The editor pulled the image of the book cover from the Internet without realizing it had been doctored. We sincerely regret the error and have corrected the story to avoid any recurrence of its broadcast. We are following up internally as well to avoid a repeat of this inexcusable oversight."
No word on whether Petraeus was also "All Up In" coauthor Vernon Loeb's snatch. As for "recurrence" of the broadcast, you can watch the video below. Read More...
Whether you're a lover or a critic of "Guy Code"'s Andrew Schulz, there is one thing you definitely cannot say about him--you cannot claim he's a fat ass. Schulz is skinny enough to be the guy in a heist gang whose job it is to slip through tight spaces. However, just because he's a thin man, does not mean he doesn't have an opinion on obesity. Haven't you learned anything yet? This guy has an opinion on everything.
In this week's "Talking Schulz," Andrew has a very simple solution to solve America's obesity epidemic. Step One, stop blaming your weight problem on the government or the economy. Step Two, well, you have to watch the video for the rest:
Imagine this: you're working at a fast food joint, serving a couple senior citizens their tacos (hey, the economy sucks -- what can you do?), and then Giancarlo Esposito walks in because he's all nostalgic about playing Gus Fring on "Breaking Bad."
You and Gus become boys. He tells you about how many people he got to kill while making the show. (Onscreen, presumably.) You take Gus out to dinner with your girlfriend. Every time you say something corny or stupid, Gus -- in his calm, collected, sociopath voice -- tells her that you are an important man, one who shouldn't be doubted. She never doubts you again.
This could be your life if you work at Twister's, the real-life Los Pollos Hermanos in Albuquerque, New Mexico where "Breaking Bad" was filmed. And they're hiring. Read More...
Daniel Solomon of Gilbert, Arizona didn't feel like heading to the polls on Election Day. Whether it was because of the long lines or negative campaign ads, he just didn't have any interest in politics this year. Unfortunately, his 28-year-old pregnant wife Holly -- who "hated Obama," Daniel later told the cops -- punished him for his "lack of voter participation," allegedly mowing him down with the family Jeep SUV.
He tried to run away, but she chased him through a parking lot, screaming at the top of her lungs. "At one point he went behind a light pole so the vehicle wouldn't strike him," a police spokesman said. "He ended up leaving the light pole trying to run away to a different area."
And that's when Holly -- who, it's worth mentioning, was stone-cold sober at the time -- struck Daniel and pinned him against the curb, according to police. He's now at a hospital in critical condition, and she's facing charges of domestic violence and aggravated assault. So, it's fair to say he probably missed a few warning signs early in the relationship?
Perhaps in 2016, Daniel will exercise his civic duty and register to vote. But first, he might want to register for divorce.
New York-based comedian/director Dan Goodman recently finished his Kickstarter-funded movie "Skinja," which is (of course) a story about a stripper turned ninja. Two things that, for some unknown reason, have not previously been put together on film.
We asked Dan a few quick questions about combining martial arts and lap dances for the innovative action-comedy.
Give us the quick elevator synopsis for "Skinja."
"Skinja" is about a stripper by night, ninja by later that night. She's a single mom whose baby daddy wouldn't pay child support, and the city took her kids because of her sex/karate lifestyle. Now there's only two things that matter to her: getting paid and getting her kids back. "Skinja" is where Ass meets Assassin.
Was this based on a true story?
Yes, it's based on the true story of me wishing this was a true story. Read More...
You might want to pop a motion sickness tablet before watching the below video of a bicycle race in Taxco, Mexico. (Elevation: 5,833 feet.) Over the course of nearly five terror- and vertigo-inducing minutes, winner Brendan Fairclough rockets down stairs, dirt, stones and wooden ramps. As he mused on Twitter beforehand: "If it rains we are all dead."
Luckily for him, the Taxco Downhill didn't prove fatal: "Going to miss the food, but I will be back."
Doing this race with a belly full of burritos and enchiladas? Oh God, we just lost it...
After months of constant political advertisements and fruitless arguments with family members and co-workers, the last thing you want is more discussion about the 2012 Presidential Election. However, no matter how many different viewpoints you've heard, you haven't gotten the official address from Hood State of the Union. Charlamagne Tha God and Lil Duval tackle the hard questions, like, "What if people only voted for candidates of their own ethnicity?" Well, Barack Obama would have be s*** out of luck, that's what. The bigger message these two titans of culture impart is there are really three topics you should avoid discussing in public. What are they? Well, you can probably guess from the headline, but watch the video to find out why.
Most guys who grew up in the '80s and '90s will name "Tecmo Super Bowl" among their favorite NES games, and for good reason: it's a sports classic, beautifully simple but mostly just beautiful. Let's take a look back at the stars of "Tecmo Super Bowl" and see where they are now, 20 years after that magical 1991 season.
1. Bo Jackson
Lightning fast with an uncanny ability to break tackles, Bo was possibly the greatest dual-sport video game athlete of all time. Unfortunately he didn't enjoy the same success in real life. He never even played the 1991 season because of a devastating hip injury, although he was able to return to baseball. After retiring from sports, he dedicated his life to charity, including a 300-mile bike ride ("Bo Bikes Bama") to help raise more than $600,000 for Alabama tornado victims.
Winter is right around the corner, which means it's time to stock up on cold-weather gear: coats, gloves, boots, scarves, and... a knitted beard?
In the spirit of No Shave November, here's "Beardo," the latest style of winter hats by Canadian designer Jeff Phillips. In an attempt to keep his face covered while snowboarding, Phillips managed to blend the classic styles of beanies and beards. Naturally, we saw the Beardo from two angles...
Really? A hat with a woolen beard sewn in? Aside from the initial attention you'll get on your next ski trip, we can't figure out why you'd want to look like a Muppet that got screwed up in manufacturing and thrown away. Even in the coldest parts of the country, we can't imagine that anyone will put this on. Grow a beard on your own or keep it clean, fellas.
No one likes a frozen face. At the very worst, you'll come off like a fan of some Brooklyn indie rock band about to sell their latest hit for another car commercial. (Or you'll just look like a guy about to rip off a 7-11.) And if it's that cold outside, do you really care about your appearance as long as you stay warm? Besides, taking off a hat is easier than shaving.
The world of video game characters is full of total douches, both intentional and accidental, but despite their cheesiness, some characters manage to achieve a delicate balance between coolness and douchedom. And before you instantly head to the comments section to defend your favorite character, take a moment to imagine actually spending time with them, and see if you don't agree. Then go ahead and troll away.
1. Carth Onasi, "Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic"
Taken from Carth's OkCupid profile.
Everyone loves Han Solo, obviously. Every kid wanted to be Han Solo on the playground (but some of us had to be CP3O). Poor Carth wants to be Han Solo so bad, but can't even pull off the parody version Bill Pullman portrayed in "Spaceballs." But still, a bad Han Solo is a lot better than a good C3PO. Read More...