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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

scented underwear
Credit: Le Slip Francais

If there's two things guys hate, it's A) showering and B) doing laundry. Wouldn't it be fantastic if you had to clean neither yourself nor your clothes?

Thanks to French company Le Slip Francais, this dream of a hygiene-free utopia might soon come to pass. It's raising funds for "The Indomitable," a line of men's underwear that smells like pears after you break 'em in:

"You get the underpants and they smell of nothing; you put on the underpants, they still don't smell, but when you start walking, the underpants smell good. ... You want to change the world, you want to change things, start by changing your underpants!"

Yes, you read that correctly: The more your junk perspires, the better its aroma, thanks to "micro-capsules of perfume embedded in [The Indomitable's] cotton fabric." This sounds too good to be true, and we'll believe it when we see (and scratch/sniff) it. Which could be soon, 'cause the company has already raised $25,000.

At $46 per pair of briefs and $52 for boxers, they're not gonna be cheap...but hey, they'll pay for themselves in unspent quarters at the laundromat.

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Marty Beckerman (@martybeckerman) is the Associate Editor of Guy Code Blog

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Hidden Flask
Photo: flasktie.co

Company picnics, baseball games, quality time with your family...summer is the ultimate drinking season. But why look like a bum, sipping out of a brown paper bag, when there are plenty of innovative and hilarious hidden flask options available?

For example, you can look sharp and feel sharp with the Flask Tie (pictured above). Your boss might even compliment you on your snappy appearance. Here are some other ingeniously camouflaged scotch delivery systems...

The Beer Belly Flask

beer belly flask
Photo: stupid.com

Trying to sneak beer into a baseball game? Even a seasoned security guard won't be able to distinguish between an actual beer belly and the beer belly flask. At $12 per plastic cup, they made you do this!

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Cleveland Browns v Pittsburgh Steelers
Credit: Joe Robbins/Getty Images

Being a sports fan is hard work. Unless you're in one of the five cities where all the champions come from (we're looking at you, coasts), you're stuck rooting for a lost cause just because that's where your parents decided to bone. Some cities are such sports failures, they should just quit and let their citizens become Yankees fans so they can be happy for once. Here are five cities that need to do everybody a favor and call it quits.

1. Cleveland

The last team in Cleveland to win a title was the Browns and there wasn't even a Super Bowl yet. (That was back when pregnant woman smoked cigarettes.) Their baseball team's mascot is pretty racist, their football team is so boring its logo is just a lame helmet, and the greatest basketball player of our generation wanted out of there so badly he didn't care if kids burned his jersey in the street.

On the bright side, "Major League" still totally holds up.

2. San Diego

Sure, the Chargers' powder blue uniforms are badass. That's about where it ends as far as cool things about San Diego sports. Total major professional teams in the city's history: Three. Total number of titles: Zero.

You've got the Pacific Ocean, bitchin' beaches, surfing and one of the best climates in the world. Just do everybody a favor and ship your teams to Iowa. They really need something to do out there.

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Living Together
Credit: anzeletti/Getty Images

So you've decided to make the leap from living in a place that smells like Doritos and sweat to a place with curtains and a working doorbell. No, you're not moving back in with your parents; you and your girlfriend are moving in together! Congratulations!

This can be a lot of fun and a great step in your relationship...but it can also be a nightmare if you don't know what you're getting into. And you need to consider that your life is going to change a little. Here are some tips for successfully adjusting.

1. Be Absolutely Certain

Cohabitation is a big move and there's really no going back. (Just try saying, "I'd like to keep dating you, but I'd rather live with my old roommate again...is that cool?") Make sure you aren't moving in with your girlfriend for the cheaper rent or just because she's pressuring you. Even if you're always at her place or she's always at yours, that doesn't necessarily mean you're emotionally ready to combine sock drawers.

2. Do Your Part With The Chores

Some guys expect their live-in girlfriends to cook, clean and do the grocery shopping while they just kill spiders and maybe take out trash once per week. Sorry, dude, that fantasy only exists on "Mad Men." There are no gender specific chores anymore. Here's your apron...what's for dinner?

3. Keep In Touch With Your Boys

Make sure not to fall into a domestic black hole with your lady and then forget about your friends. Do a night out with the guys--it's a good way for you and her to have some healthy time apart. Just remember that when you come home, you're crawling into bed with a sleeping, sober person who doesn't care for your booze-breath and snoring.

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yachting
Credit: Getty Images

If you're still frantically trying to get in shape for the summer, consult a qualified personal trainer to make sure that your exercise routine doesn't cause you physical or legal harm.

Scott Barron from Alva, Florida was arrested for masturbating on his parked boat in plain sight as other people sailed past him. Allegedly, an off-duty cop asked Barron to stop, to which he quickly replied, "[expletive deleted] you!" After an on-duty officer showed up to arrest him, Barron tried to explain that he wasn't masturbating, he was exercising.

We get it. Everyone is excited that spring has sprung and we're all trying to enjoy the nice weather. But you've got to maintain your excitement at acceptable levels. Cursing out police officers while masturbating furiously is going over-board. Also, what exercise could that possibly even look like? Either Baron is on the forefront of physical fitness techniques, or he's just doing it wrong.

Either way, we'll stick with push-ups and not masturbating outside.

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Neal Stastny (@NealStas) is a comedian and writer in New York.

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girl farts

Yes, all girls fart...and no, those emissions don't smell like unicorns and butterflies. That's the kind of harsh truth you'll get from "Girl Code," but--even when the truth is gross--you can use it to your advantage. Here's what guys can learn from last night's episode.

1. Some Girls Fart To Judge Your Reaction

Jessimae Peluso "will fart on first dates" to gauge whether a guy is superficial or a gentleman. Conversely, Esther Ku will "only fart after my toothbrush is in his bathroom." Maybe a girl is testing you, or maybe she's just getting too comfortable, but either way she might be trying to tell you something--if you can hear it through the rippage.

2. They Blame Guys For Their Gas

Guys stereotypically blame the dog for cutting one, but girls blame you. "Girls are more blamers than claimers," Esther says, and she told female viewers to "stand next to the fattest guy in the room" when they fart, so he looks guilty. As if you needed another reason to hit the gym and work off your beer gut...

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yearbook
Photo via theCHIVE

While you were drinking...

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ddr
Photo: YouTube

We all love playing video games, but we seldom break out the "Dance Dance Revolution" floor pad...because we don't own such a controller, and have no desire to do so. We might dance at the club, but we'd rather spend our gaming time on the couch.

Even though "DDR" isn't our favorite game (ranking somewhere around "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic"), we respect genuine athletic talent when we see it. And this Japanese guy named Takaske could be an Olympic athlete, if he weren't so preoccupied at the arcade. Click through to watch him conquer two pads at once with uncanny speed.

Actually, we kinda want to see him play "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" now.

MORE: "The Fastest Feet in the West"

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165539497
Credit:  Valentine/Getty Images

Guys too often seem to believe our lives are a perpetual porno, and that countless women want to have sex with us. A tramp stamp, a tight tank top or even a certain job, and men think a girl is a "slut" who'll quickly jump into bed with us courtesy of one witty line or one hefty tip. However, our thinking is often hilariously wrong--especially because ladies with the following "sure thing" careers aren't that at all.

1. Hair Stylist

You sit in a comfy chair like a king while she grooms you into peak attractiveness. Some snips there, some clips here, and--as she gazes intently at your handsome mug in the salon's giant mirror--you start thinking: This could work. When she uses her long nails to shampoo your scalp...oh! Is this foreplay, or does she treat all her customers so nicely?

The latter, actually. In fact, she probably thinks you're a douche for spending so much loot on a simple haircut. Save your money, go to an old man barber and extinguish your slutty haircutter fantasies.

2. Tattoo Artist

The ink on her torso, back and limbs makes you think she's an impulsive thrill-seeker, and perhaps--as soon as your own ink dries--she'll do some more "work" on your body. Doubtful. Her art might be as permanent as the commitment she wants from a guy.

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manu-2013Credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

As he exhibited once again last night, Manu Ginobili is a stone cold, dead-eye assassin. His game-winning three pointer in double overtime against the Warriors came minutes after he bricked a horrible three off the front iron. But Manu doesn't think about the past. He's got, as the great Bill Raftery would say, ONIONS.

He's also got the best bald spot in the NBA. In the picture above, taken not long after he ruined Steph Curry's night, Manu shows off his glistening pate with no shame. It's as if he's saying, "Yes, I'm bald. But I'll still drain a three right over your hair-having head." As a tribute to Manu, we look back at his magic chrome dome through the years.

2012

A year and a half ago Manu's bald spot was about the same size as it is today but it hadn't yet given up the ghost. If you look closely you can see a thin dusting of wispy hair hanging on for dear life. Those lost of hair-hicans have since called it quits.

manu-2012Credit: Steve Dykes/Getty Images

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