Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
If you've watched even a minute of football this year, you know the Jaguars are the absolute worst at it. They haven't won a single game so far, and next week they're expected to be 28-point underdogs to the Denver Broncos. Yikes. And their starting quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, is so bad that he's fighting for his job against Chad Henne. Double Yikes.
Then there's the video below, "Blaine Gabbert: The Real American." Triple yikes. It came out months ago, but it's worth a rewatch with how historically crappy Gabbert and the Jags have been playing. Incidentally, he looks like the dude at the kegger in flip-flops who makes out with your girlfriend while you're in the bathroom.
Some things to keep an eye on: Is this the worst singer in the world? Is this a real thing? Is it a good idea to put people s**tting on you in your super cool "I'm the best!" vid? Is it a good sign to be losing in most of your big highlights? All right, there's no way this is a real thing...but what if it is?
For those of you who are new to Guy Code Blog, it may surprise you to learn that I'm the editor ... and I'm a poorly animated cartoon character. It's weird, I know, but it keeps our blog under budget since I don't need much in the way of food or sleep or space. I just live in a drawer at the office, so I'm always around to work.
I might not be human, per se, but I still have feelings and like to date. It's tough, though, since there aren't a lot of other cartoon characters around New York City. After signing up for every online dating site, I finally found a promising lead. Her name is Papyrus. Unfortunately, she kept refusing to meet in person. The "Catfish" guys ignored my emails for help, so I took matters into my own hands. The below video is the result -- my first meeting with Papyrus after months of chatting online.
Just because a girl looks gorgeous on Instagram does not mean that's what she looks like in person. Those filters can do absolute wonders to a person's appearance. Maybe she has a blotchy complexion? Just add the "Sutro" filter and suddenly she's a mysterious beauty. Maybe she's been hitting the beer heavily and it's showing? Just stand at an angle, slap the "1977" filter on and now she looks like a sexy free spirit. How about a mustache? The "Inkwell" filter makes the stache look like it's just a light shadow from her nose.
Pete Davidson is tired of being fooled by the ladies of Instagram. That's why he developed an app to strip the filters off those photos and expose these females for what they really look like. That's right! Pete is a scientist and software developer in his spare time. In this episode of "How To With Pete," we show the app in use and prove just how deceiving these pics can be.
Most of us follow the law -- most of the time, anyway -- and besides, there's a difference between victimless crimes (like Dan Soder smoking a ton of pot in college) and straight-up stealing other dudes' property (like the jerks who mugged Dan Soder at gunpoint). In this NSFW clip from MTV Other, Dan explains why you shouldn't talk s**t to a guy with a pistol to your head, and other tips for when you're unfortunately not Batman.
Every Friday, MTV2's "What's Good" (hosted by Chris Distefano) ushers in the weekend by counting down the three biggest pop-culture stories of the week. We don't need to tell you that Sunday's "Breaking Bad" series finale is a huge deal, and you might be able to score some huge deals on props from the show, currently being auctioned off. What guy doesn't want to own Walter White's tighty-whities? (Or his giant stack of money?)
Also, boob-shaped weights are coming to a gym near you, and Pizza Hut is teaming up with MTV for a Discover Great event in Austin on October 5 headlined by Walk the Moon. Watch below for all that and more:
As "Guy Code" definitively stated last season, following the Code means being who you are -- if you're gay, be gay! And if you're straight, be straight...unless you're Guy Code Blog contributor Ethan Fixell, who (along with his comedy, um, "partner" Dave Ahdoot) miraculously scored a bunch of girls' numbers by pretending to be into dudes:
The video has gotten thousands of views in just a couple hours, so we reached out to Ethan to describe the experience and whether the results surprised him.
Isn't this a technique that should backfire? Won't girls just feel deceived?
The thing is, in order to pull this technique off, you need a) an actual gay guy as your wingman -- in this case, our friend Davey Wavey -- and b) to be prepared to fail as many times as you'll succeed. No girl will feel deceived as long as you come clean to her and explain you were attempting it as an experiment...and that you really would like to date her in real life.
Did you get any negative reactions? Anything you had to cut from the video?
We had to cut plenty from the video, as we spent all day doing this, and only had time to show a few interactions. Most of the cuts were rejections, either by girls who were utterly confused, or unconvinced we were actually straight after the reveal. A few ladies later told us they had realized we were straight before we told them so.
Groping a woman without her permission is definitely breaking Guy Code, and a baboon named Mickey could use a lesson in chivalry.
At the Lodi Grape Festival in California, TV reporter Sabrina Rodriguez was teasing a segment about baboons' love of grapes. As soon as he was on camera, Mickey shook Rodriguez's hand and then immediately grabbed her breast. (Perhaps, in her purple shirt, he thought it was a giant grape?) Judging by the look on Mickey's face throughout the video, he was very proud of himself.
We've been talking about "Guy Court" for what seems like forever (at least a few months). Tonight at 11:30 p.m ET/PT on MTV2, after the season finale of "Wild 'N Out," we finally get to see what all the hype is about. "In Guy Code We Trust: The Guy Court Preview Special" is a 60-minute experience that will preview this season's best "Guy Court" cases, while recapping the most important Guy Codes.
The full 10-episode season isn't officially premiering until Wednesday, November 6 at 11:00 p.m. ET/PT, so this will have to hold you over for another month-plus. And once you see it, you're going to have a tough time waiting for more. Check out the new minute-and-a-half trailer below.