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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

chicago burglars bat

When two Chicago men decided to rob the store Gifts and Sports at gunpoint, they didn't count on two things: An outlet called "Gifts and Sports" might contain a baseball bat, and 62-year-old owner Luis Quizhpe's ridiculous fighting skills.

Even though the burglars shot Quizhpe in the leg, causing him to lose "about a pint of blood," the senior citizen kept swinging and swinging until they ran off. "It was like the Fourth of July," Quizhpe told the Chicago Tribune. "Pow, pow, pow."

They fired 10 shots in all, but Quizhpe survived, as did his brother-in-law, who fought back with a stool and fire extinguisher. He's now considering retirement, but should give the MLB a call. Here's the incredible surveillance footage:

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ladies man

We've all found ourselves making the Friend Zone Face when a girl shoots us down with some variation of "I love you...but not like that." For most of us, it's a bump in an otherwise smooth road--but what if your entire life was being trapped the Friend Zone?

That's the hellish question raised by "Ladies Man: A MADE Movie" (based on the MTV series "MADE"). It's the story of Toby, a guy whose shoulder girls cry on...to complain about guys whom they actually have sex with. We brought you the trailer yesterday, and here's another taste of what to expect when the movie airs tonight at 9/8c on MTV.

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the-ladies-man

The MTV series "MADE" is all about people transforming their lives. Nothing can transform your life more than learning Guy Code, of course, which is what makes us excited to watch "Ladies Man: A MADE Movie."

It's the story of a loser trapped in the Friend Zone, who becomes determined--upon arriving at college--to win the Mr. Olympus Pageant, his golden ticket to convincing ladies that he's a stud. The competition is fierce (specifically, the dick frat boy wearing a necklace above), and our hero doesn't have much time to amp up his physical fitness, knowledge of women, social skills and every other quality a guy needs to get laid.

Check out the trailer, and then watch the movie Tuesday at 9/8c on MTV.

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skinny jeans

Gentlemen can agree to disagree on some aspects of Guy Code, but there's no debate over skinny jeans. While many fathers shrug at their teenage sons' unfortunate fashion choices--figuring they'll grow out of it eventually--we applaud the dad in the below video (which we discovered via Guyism) for taking a brave stand...and for dispensing tough love.

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so disgusting

This season of "Guy Code" is over, but you can still improve your game with the help of MTV's "Girl Code," premiering on April 23 at 10:30/9:30c. See, if you can get inside women's heads, then you'll be unstoppable.

Speaking of heads, we've got an advance clip from the new series--featuring Melanie Iglesias and April Rose--that explains how ladies really feel about penises. (Also: Charlamagne Tha God declares that it's a "damn lie" when they claim size doesn't matter.) Even if our flesh torpedoes gross females out, they still love 'em anyway.

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jermaine

All good things come to an end, and this season of "Guy Code" was pretty damn great. If you don't know what to do with yourself now that it's over, rest easy, 'cause we've got some clips from the "Cutting Room Floor."

Savor these extra morsels about the only thing you can teach your dad, how to downplay a guys' night out when your lady asks questions, and April Rose's #1 rule for saying "I love you." Parting might be such sweet sorrow, but Guy Code is with you always.

MORE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

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gabrus

The upside of monogamy is sex (pretty much) whenever you want it. The downside is that sex can get repetitive after awhile. But if you want to talk your girl into trying something weird, you've gotta get creative in bed...like, while you're still in pajamas, not actually naked, as Jon Gabrus explains in this clip from the season finale of "Guy Code." You'll never look at Wonder Woman the same way again.

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melanie basketball

After tonight's "Guy Code" season finale, you'll have to wait awhile for new episodes. But to hold you over, here's the full clip of Melanie Iglesias playing basketball in slow-mo. (It's a bookend companion piece to April Rose's "Hot Girl On A Bike, Not Wearing A Bra.") Yeah, she might never compete in a WNBA game, but you'd rather watch this anyway.

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Commonwealth Games
Credit: Tony Feder/Getty Images

You think a girl rejecting you is embarrassing? PSSHT! When a kangaroo kicks your ass, THAT'S embarrassing. You're supposed to be part of the smartest species, so it's pretty shameful to get put in your place by such a cute rascal...even if it can land a left, thump you with its hind legs and (added bonus) has razor-sharp talons that cut through flesh like a machete through Texas brisket.

Here's five videos of kangaroos making humans look foolish, and advice for the victims on how to recover.

HOW TO GET OVER IT: The poor kid's parents should find a good shrink. He's bound to be traumatized. You might also wanna skip buying Dunk-a-Roos for his lunches.

+ For more on embarrassment, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2

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melanie
Credit: @melanieiglesias

Over the weekend "Guy Code" hit a pretty incredible milestone: 100,000 Twitter followers. Not to get all emotional, but we're honored that we mean so much to so many. And so is Melanie Iglesias, who recorded a quick video to thank y'all...and to mark another milestone: Tonight's "Guy Code" season finale at 11/10c on MTV2.

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