Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Hip-hop duo Macklemore and Ryan Lewis will appear on "Saturday Night Live" this weekend, but we beat "SNL" to the punch with this pretty damn funny Good Ass Night. See, for most guys, the perfect evening involves going outside. Not Macklemore, who just wants to watch Netflix and snuggle up with his lady. And, uh, eat tacos? We'll let him take it from here...
Tonight's new "Guy Code" episode dealt with New Relationships, Bar Etiquette, Having a Kid and Being a Nerd. Coincidentally, all of those things have to do with sex. Yep, even Being a Nerd, because it appears as if nerds are getting laid now and they have to know what to do with their spectacles once the heavy sucking-face begins. Seriously, we're not just being dicks, that's really a problem for four-eyed dudes and the geek-tastic Jordan Carlos is nice enough to gives you some tips on how to deal with it.
Anyway, enough with the writing, I'm sure you want to learn all of the details about new relationship sex, so feast your eyes below:
The Harlem Shake is the meme that wouldn't die, but it's not actually the dance that Harlem's Al B introduced back in the '80s. The modern version is basically just drunk half-naked people humping things.
That's why Charlamagne from "Guy Code" invited the Original Harlem Shakers to demonstrate how it's done. Trust us, this video is way more authentic than the one you and your wasted friends uploaded to YouTube.
Kids can perplex men, which seems odd since we all were ones at some point...and many of us are still considered big kids by our girlfriends and family members. Don't be embarrassed to admit that you're not sure how you feel about having your own kids or dealing with someone's little booger-eaters. For some reason, other people (especially parents and women) will judge you based on how kids react to you, so it can be stressful. However, it doesn't have to be. There are a few simple rules when it comes to dealing with kids and "Guy Code" breaks them down tonight on MTV2 at 11p/10c. Here's a sneak peek to get you ready:
Once upon a time, it was easy to differentiate nerds from the popular crowd. They were the bespectacled outsiders who spent their time tapping keyboards rather than tapping kegs or tapping asses. No one "tried" to be a nerd. It wasn't a fashion choice. Some guys were simply predestined by nature to be too intelligent for their own good and insufficiently sociable.
However, somewhere in the last five years, being a nerd became cool. Kevin Durant, one of the best three basketball players in the world, wears dorky glasses and carries a backpack to press conferences like he's just stopping by on his way to math club. The cast of "Guy Code," some of whom are legitimate old-school nerds, discuss this trend in tomorrow night's new episode and we have a sneak peek here:
You know the old saying, "Bros before hoes." We call it an "old saying" because that's really what it is, it's passe. Guys know they'd rather be with ladies than hanging at a sausage fest with their bros. After all, we love our homies and we'd take a punch in the face for them, but let's be honest, we don't want to get naked with them. And that's what it really comes down to...chicks will get naked with us if we're nice and spend time with them. Don't sell your buddies out for some random one-night-stand, but also don't be mad at your friend for spending a bunch of time with his new girlfriend. Charlagmagne sums it all up in this quick Pro Tip, "Chicks Before D*cks."
Whether as The Man with No Name or Harry Callahan, Clint Eastwood has exemplified a version of Guy Code that would be hard for most guys to live by today. Doling out vigilante justice without getting killed or thrown in jail isn't easy to do in real life. Still, there are lessons to be learned from watching Eastwood's movies. The characters he portrays are no strangers to saloons or dive bars. They exhibit barroom etiquette that can still be applied today, minus the pistols and murder.
Offer Your Bar-fight Opponent A Free Pass
"Outlaw Josey Wales"
Even if you're not sure you can take the guy in a fight, offer to let him walk first. It makes you look really confident and may just scare him away. If he stays, anything you do to him is perfectly fair game. Even the ladies will say, "He tried to warm him." And if you lose the fight, well, then it doesn't matter anyway.
For more on 'Bar Etiquette,' watch the new "Guy Code" on Tuesday at 11p/1oc on MTV2 Read More...
Well, there's a bunch more where that came from. In these clips from the "Cutting Room Floor," Mac gives you Pro Tips on everything from smoothies to prostate stimulation to stealing money from your grandma. (Maybe she only gave you a fiver for your birthday?)
Watch the outtakes, then watch Mac on "The Most Dope Family," premiering this Tuesday after "Guy Code" on MTV2.
When you work for the "Why Would You Eat? Challenge!", you find yourself asking: "Why would I eat that?" Like, say, while you're shoving caterpillars into your face.
In America, caterpillars are viewed as a pest--but over in South Africa, they're a protein-packed snack. Harvested off the mopane tree, drained of their innards and then dried in the sun, it's kinda like beef jerky, but with 100% less beef and 100% more caterpillar.
YOU:"What does it taste like?" ME:"Like a dead tree. Like eating sand off sand paper. Like eating a dead tree made of sand off sand paper."
Much more fun than eating caterpillars is playing finger football with them. For a recent "Challenge!" episode, we made Soren Bowie from Cracked battle comedian Jason Horton. They each got five kicks and had to devour the ones they missed. If you are what you eat, they should turn into butterflies any second now...