Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
On last night's "Guy Code" (watch full episode here), you learned everything about puberty that your dad never told you way back when. He got too freaked out to discuss the subject, but fortunately TV gave you some other father figures. Here's the best puberty talks from "very special episodes" of our favorite sitcoms.
We already brought you "The 10 Most Awkward Local News Interviews," but that's limited to American television. When it comes to "WTF?"-caliber on-air madness, there's just no competing with our friends in Japan.
See, in the U.S. we like things tidy and controlled (read: "American Idol," Jay Leno). In Japan, it's a little different. They prefer their celebrity TV interviews to go completely off the rails. If any of this stuff aired in the States, a lot of entertainment industry folks would be out of a job.
1. Beastie Boys
It's tough to pinpoint what we like best about this NSFW clip from almost 25 years ago. It might be the model sloppily eating ice cream for no reason. Or maybe it's the late Adam Yauch ("MCA") constantly playing with his fly and shouting, "Reach down and fondle my balls with ya fingaz!" (He matured after this era. A lot.)
+ For more on Interviewing, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
We're pretty fond of zombies around here, from "The Walking Dead" to harmless pranks. You know, the kind that don't risk causing widespread panic. So we're not sure we can 100% endorse the prankster who hacked a Montana TV station to alert several counties of an in-progress zombie apocalypse.
"Civil authorities in your area have reported that the bodies of the dead are rising from their graves and attacking the living," says a muffled voice, juxtaposed with a silly pancake commercial, which would make a crappy last supper.
Applicable Guy Code in this situation? Hey, you've gotta be prepared for anything, but also skeptical. If you have a crossbow or battle ax handy, go outside and check things out. Or call the police, like four concerned Montanans did. Your best bet, however, is probably to ignore the warning, because zombies aren't real. Here's the video:
Speaking of manliness, no one is less manly than a bully. Most victims of bullying have no recourse (just therapy) after suffering wedgies or swirlies or purple nurples... but a lucky few can sub in a professional MMA fighter to challenge their tormentors, thanks to MTV's "Bully Beatdown."
It's the brainchild of host Jason "Mayhem" Miller, a retired UFC middleweight who "got picked on a lot" as a kid. The show isn't just exciting, punch-heavy entertainment; it contains some timeless wisdom.
1. Bullies Never Win In The End
On every episode, the arrogant bully thinks he can defeat any opponent, but not a single one has knocked out an MMA fighter. The only guy who came close is Dennis from episode six, who fought to a draw and received $10,000 for the feat. Still, he vomited from sustaining so much bodily damage. "Dennis is gonna be puking for days," Mayhem predicted. "He took more hits than Google."
If you were allowed to bet on such things in Las Vegas, what do you think the odds would be that contributors to a skate skateboard-related humor magazine, a failed actor and a Florida clown would make a television series that would last three successful seasons and spawn even more successful films? We're guessing they would have been pretty high. Had you placed a bet prior to April of 2000, you would have cleaned up after the first season of "Jackass" aired on MTV.
In the spirit of Mancation Weekend, we're taking a look back at where the delightful idiots of "Jackass" began and where they are today.
Phillip Clapp (AKA Johnny Knoxville) left his hometown of Knoxville after high school and moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career. After working as an extra and appearing in a few commercials, he pitched the idea of testing self-defense devices on himself to skateboarding magazine Big Brother.
In the spirit of Mancation Weekend, we decided reminiscence about our favorite classic MTV shows for dudes. Ever since 1981, the network has entertained us with more shows than we can count. (We might've discovered our bodies to "Singled Out" hosts Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra. #dontjudgeus)
It's impossible to narrow 'em down to 10 favorites, but these ones have a special place in our hearts... just like Jenny and Carmen had a special place in our pants.
1. Beavis and Butt-head
"Beavis and Butt-head" (much like "The Simpsons") revolutionized animation as a medium for adults... stunted adults, perhaps, but still. When Mike Judge came back for new episodes in 2011, they were just as brilliant as the originals.
With hit series like "Modern Family" and "The New Normal," gay TV characters are more popular than ever. Since the "Guy Code" cast is talkin' about gay dudes on tonight's episode, we're taking a look back at some of our favorite gay characters from various series. The ones not on "Will & Grace" or "Glee" anyway. (Or animated ones like Ace and Gary above, although they did come to life once, thanks to Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon.)
1. Terry ("Reno 911!")
Credit: Comedy Central
For seven seasons, Nick Swardson played Terry, a lovable, rollerblading moron of a criminal. Whether he was selling meth, stealing a police helicopter or giving two-dollar handjobs behind the dumpster of a taco restaurant, he was always a highlight of an often overlooked series.
Unfortunately "Guy Code" isn't on TV every second of the day, but there's some good news: Comedy Central has a new series that you're gonna love, "Kroll Show," which features comedian Nick Kroll opening his treasure chest of demented sketch characters. One of our favorites is Bobby Bottleservice, a "Jersey Shore" reject who's gonna make it big in the music biz, if he ever makes it out of his mom's house. Watch the first episode tonight at 10:30/9:30c, and check out this sneak peek in the meantime.
Last year was brutal for beards: Matisyahu and Conan O'Brien shaved theirs, and Osama bin Laden's became a sea life habitat, thanks to SEAL Team 6. But 2012 has been fantastic for facial hair, from movies to TV to video games to "The Hunger Games."
Without further ado, the greatest whiskers of the past 12 months...
Best Superhero Facial Hair: Bruce Wayne, 'The Dark Knight Rises'
Not so long ago, comic book heroes were clean-shaven while villains twirled their mustaches. But in "The Avengers," bare-faced Loki is no match for bearded Thor, Iron Man and Nick Fury. That said, the only crime-fighter more badass than Batman is unkempt, clinically depressed Batman. Until caveman-style Wolverine hits screens next year.
Rather than going out in your hometown this weekend and judging all the people you went to high school with (do that Wednesday night), stay home with your family for some laughs courtesy of comedian Kyle Kinane. Kinane's first one-hour comedy special "Whiskey Icarus" premieres Saturday, November 24 at 11:00 p.m. ET/PT, during which the gruff-voiced funny man dishes on unsliced pizza, stereotypes, chivalry, single white dudes at the movie theater, suburbia and some weirdo who brought a bag of pancakes onto a plane. Check out a couple Kinane clips to whet your laugh palate.