Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
It's pretty clear by now that Pauly D is the most marketable and business-savvy member of the "Jersey Shore" cast (sorry, Snooki). He could just sit back and watch the bucks flow in from all his endorsements, but he keeps on hustling: whether it's spinning on his own spinoff, getting into the booze biz or touring with Britney--dude's always busy.
You could even say... he's in the DRIVER'S SEAT. So not surprisingly, he's helming the 2012 DJ Pauly D So Fresh & So Clean Celebrity Car, Bike & Concert Supershow (yes, that's the official name). The August 12 one-day-only mega-event in his home state Rhode Island will feature the year's hottest cars and bikes, including custom celebrity rides. And, of course, Pauly D on the ones and twos and 20-inch rims.
So if you're a gearhead, a juicehead or just in the neighborhood, be sure to check out www.ricarshow.com for tickets and more information.
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Credit: "Saved By The Bell"; Yahoo!
Done spitting out your drink? Well there's still hope yet. Right when we needed the universe to tell us that everything will be all right, Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years" is proving that not all of our childhood (wet) dreams have to be pulverized by time and cosmetic work. Danica McKellar, the 37-year-old mother of one who played Winnie 19 years ago, stepped out in L.A. the other night to reveal that she looks just how we imagined she would in our "Wonder Years" fantasies back in the day.
There's a lot to love about "Community"--Annie's Boobs and Annie's boobs immediately come to mind. There's also Troy and Abed's obsession with the fake TV show "Inspector Spacetime." A "Dr. Who" parody starring the dashing Inspector and his trusty assistant Constable Reggie, "Inspector Spacetime" is the type of show anti-social dweebs love. Which is to say, we'd love it. It's also part of an exclusive club of fake TV shows within real TV shows that we'd totally watch. Below we've listed all 10 members of that club.
Sara Eisen, just one of the many lovely gals gracing our list of hottest TV news reporters, had a wardrobe malfunction live on Bloomberg while talking about international Facebook shares or some crap. Here's the scenario: one anchor tosses to Sheila (who also made our list) who begins yammering about "fiduciary" and "arbitrage" and whatever. But her mic isn't picking it up, so the cameraman quickly pans over to Sara, who has her skirt hiked WAY up at the :22 mark. Realizing she's on camera, she quickly pulls it down and tries to gather herself. See for yourself:
But, what the hell is that black thing in her lap??
Is it some elaborate garter? Her mic pack? A handgun? A portable 'do? You'll notice before going to Sheila, at about eight seconds, you can see Sara chatting with a male colleague. What were they talking about? Was she showing him something, like in "Christmas Vacation" when Clark Griswold hits up the lingerie counter?
Maybe it's just a ratings ploy to get people to watch more financial news. We're not surprised that Bloomberg, the undisputed leader in hot news ladies, beat Fox News to the punch.
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If we told you, "Hey, a guy just set the Guinness World Record for fist-pumping," you'd assume it happened during an episode of "Jersey Shore." To your amazement and ours, the record was set in Ohio, in the shadow of LeBron James' old stomping grounds at the University of Akron. It's OK, let the shock wear off and then allow one New Jersey-shaped tear to fall down your spray-tanned cheek.
The "Jersey Shore" cast made the fist pump popular but James Patterson, a 34-year-old unemployed electrician, is a veteran of the activity. Sort of. He used to hang light fixtures, so he's used to holding his arm above his head for long periods of time. Since he's the only one who's ever decided to do this, he set the world record on his first attempt. He strutted around the University of Akron campus for a solid 16 hours, fist pumping his brains out the whole time. Congrats, bro.
If you've never been sucked down the rabbit hole of fan fiction, consider yourself lucky. It's a bizarre world of half-baked ideas and bad writing that almost always ends up with someone naked. If you want to remain a fan fiction virgin, stop reading now. Because you're about to be led into a cave of freakish fantasies that all have one thing in common: "Beavis and Butt-Head."
As hard as it is to believe, there are people with enough time to concoct stories about Beavis and Butt-Head, type them up and post them online. Our role is to bring them to you.
Credit: "Saved By The Bell"; Yahoo!
Ugh, this story is just the saddest. A story about baby seals getting poached so that a North Korean sweatshop could turn their coats into fabrics for Kim Kardashian's Target fashion line wouldn't be as depressing as this news.
What the f*** happened to Lisa Turtle's face? She was secretly the hottest girl on "Saved By The Bell." But "secretly" is the key: the actress Lark Voorhies never got enough hotness cred. And because we never appreciated her enough, she had a crisis, feeling the need to transform her face into...into whatever you'd call that up there, the harrowing result of some hellish mix of Botox, minor surgeries and microdermabrasions. And now her crisis is causing us to experience an existential crisis.
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Our favorite broken-English-spouting sitcom actress is back on the market! According to Us Weekly, "Modern Family" star and probable Fountain of Youth discoverer Sofia Vergara split up with her longtime boyfriend who probably has a name but who cares what it is because sorry bro your time's up!
So what does this mean for you? Well, your window of opportunity is small. You have to pounce NOW. We'd say Mother's Day weekend is perfect timing. Sofia is the mother of a 19-year-old. Do something completely heartwarming and emotional. Basically, the exact opposite of what you were going to do for your own mother.
Also, it appears she doesn't like a career man, which is just excellent news. Turns out her ex was a real Suit, trying to run for Congress and steal her celebrity shine for some lame-ass political attention. F*** that noise, Sofia just wants a man who will be there to relax her after a hard day of posing on the red carpet and shilling Pantene. And now you can be that directionless man cooing in her ear while she squawks in yours!
Last night, as the Los Angeles Lakers were getting punked by the Denver Nuggets to force game seven, Metta World Peace (the man formerly known as Ron Artest) was "Punk'd" by Dax Shepard. We won't give away the prank in case you haven't seen it, but it involves road rage. What? World Peace? Road rage? C'mon don't be a dick, you're not surprised. Let's just all agree that it takes balls to punk a man who has stormed into the stands in a blind rage, has his own highlight reel of villainous comic book smackdowns and also does a mean cha-cha. Why don't you also make fun of his rapping while you're at it?
Luckily, Dax is a "Punk'd" veteran (it's actually where he got his start) and he came out unscathed, as you can see in this exclusive clip of MWP's reaction. Nothing is safe from "Punk'd," not even World Peace.
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