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Today's Badass: Alex Morgan Goal Sends U.S. To Gold Medal Game

Posted 8/7/12 10:15 am EST by in Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Stanley Chou/Getty Images

The US women's soccer team was locked up with Canada at 3-3 with just 30 seconds left in extra time. It was a weird game, one in which Canuck striker Christine Sinclair had a hat trick, and the US was clawing back from a one-goal deficit for most of the game. But then Alex Morgan (our favorite player, partly because of her off-field "talents," we'll admit it) received a perfect cross and buried a header for the game-winning goal. Now the US is headed to the Gold Medal game against Japan -- a chance for vengeance after losing to them in the 2011 World Cup final in a penalty shootout.

Check out Morgan's goal, and then to  get more of your Alex Morgan fix, head over to Buzzfeed where they've got her totally endearing post-game interview.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.

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Today's Badass: Judo Medalist Punches Bottle-Thrower

Posted 8/6/12 10:30 am EST by in Funny, Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Adam Pretty/Getty Images

Usain Bolt gave us the most thrilling 9.63 seconds in the Olympics yesterday during the men's 100-meter dash. But it was almost ruined thanks to a drunken moron who pelted a beer bottle onto the track moments before the race started. The bottle hit the track after the runners took the marks and were waiting for the gun to go off.

What a dick! Could you imagine if Bolt had heard the bottle, flinched and been disqualified? There would have been riots in London. Luckily, it didn't come to that. And thanks to Dutch judo bronze medalist Edith Bosch, cops have the perp. You can see Bosch below, in the black jacket, confronting the rogue thrower:
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Today's Badass: Carmelo Anthony Is Likeable Again

Posted 8/3/12 12:30 pm EST by in Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Getty Images

Carmelo Anthony frustrated Denver Nuggets fans for eight seasons and now haunts New York Knicks fans' nightmares. The 28-year-old forward is obviously an elite talent and fun-as-hell to watch. Unfortunately, when he needs to be a leader as well as a team player, Melo usually falls short. He's also fallen short in the charisma department, demanding to be the only star on his team. Not in the 2012 Summer Olympics though.

Melo isn't in the starting lineup on Team USA, but we haven't heard one complaint. He's played lights-out and yesterday set a new U.S. Olympic scoring record with 37 points against Nigeria, going 10 for 12 from three-point land. Being 6'8" with speed and scoring ability from the outside, he's made for international play.

That's not the only reason he's Today's Badass though. Off of the court, Melo hasn't been cocky or a diva. He's just goofing around with his teammates, hugging it out with Michelle Obama, Instagramming photos of himself as Semmi from "Coming To America," grabbing photos with the US gymnasts and vowing to punk Kevin Love for showing the world Melo's sleep face. This is the player New Yorkers were hoping for when the Knicks paid a king's ransom for him. Hopefully it carries into next season.


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Today's Badass: McKayla Maroney Punks Gravity On Vault

Posted 8/1/12 11:46 am EST by in News, Sports, Today's Badass

McKayla Maroney's Vault Was So Good It Literally Dropped A Judge's Jaw
Credit: Buzzfeed

We're gonna come right out and say it: we don't know s*** about gymnastics, but we still know an amazing athletic feat when we see one. And we knew right away when we saw McKayla Maroney pull off that mind-boggling vault (watch it here) that it was incredible. First of all, since when have people been flipping BEFORE they hit the springboard? (And why haven't we seen more bone-crushing FAIL videos like this one as a result?) And secondly, how the EFF did this not get a perfect score? She stuck the landing and everything!  Judges are dicks. No matter, though, it carried the US women to their first team gymnastics gold since 1996.

Also, we'd like to note that Michael Phelps was in the running for Today's Badass after winning his record 19th Olympic medal. He anchored a relay for the first time as the men coasted to victory in the 4x200, but earlier Phelps also blew a sizeable lead in the butterfly event. Yes, he's the greatest of all time, but even he admitted yesterday that this Olympics is less about proving that and more about having fun on his victory lap.

Phelps may be the GOAT, but McKayla Maroney was straight HAM.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.

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Today's Badass: USA's Gold Medal Backstrokers

Posted 7/31/12 12:45 pm EST by in Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Adam Pretty/Getty Images

Last night, America's swimmers went into beast mode for the men's and women's 100-meter backstroke. Nobody floats on their backs like we do. Land of the free and home of the Disney World Lazy River, bitches! Missy Franklin won the gold for the women with a time of 58.33 seconds. This was a mere 14 minutes after her semifinal heat in the 200-m freestyle. Oh, it's also worth mentioning she's 17 years old. That makes her a certified badass. When she took the podium and alternated between singing the national anthem and letting out lip-quivering sobs, it was clear America had a new favorite swimmer (sorry bros!).

Meanwhile, in the men's 100-m backstroke, Matt Grevers set an Olympic record of 52.16 en route to his gold. Also pretty badass. American Nick Thoman finished second. Suddenly, we have something to distract us from the (to this point) underwhelming performances of Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.

 

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Today's Badass: Gun-Toting Olympic Medalist Kim Rhode

Posted 7/30/12 11:00 am EST by in News, Sports, Today's Badass

Credit: Lars Baron/Getty Images

With a gold medal already around her neck from the London Olympics, U.S. skeet shooter (yeah yeah, hilarious) Kim Rhode has now been winning Olympics hardware for 16 years, which is roughly the age of most of China's Olympic squad. She may not be one of our Gold Medal Babes, but she's one of five humans on the planet who have won individual medals in five straight Olympics. At the 1996 Atlanta Olympics, she won gold at age 16. Then bronze in Sydney in 2000. Then gold again in Athens in '04. Then silver last time in Beijing. And during this latest medal run, she went on an Olympic record setting stretch hitting 74/75 targets. Do you remember how hard the clay shooting was in "Duck Hunt" if you didn't scoot right up to the screen? Kim Rhode doesn't.

As if her prowess with a rifle didn't already make us feel insecure, NBC did a feature on Rhode's classic car collection.  The sharp-shooter is also a huge motorhead and rebuilt a 1965 Shelby Cobra. What did you do this weekend? Play "Call Of Duty" and microwave a Hot Pocket? Thought so, that's why Kim Rhode is manlier than all of us and Today's Badass.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.

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Today's Badass: Man Pleases 15 Women For Entire Day

Posted 7/25/12 11:30 am EST by in Funny, News, Today's Badass

Meet George Brownridge. As you can see, he pleased 15 women for an entire day, after which the gals were understandably "exhausted and very satisfied." Dude's a machine! It's one thing to give a gaggle of gals a whole day of pleasure, it's quite another to be such an attentive lover during that time that they feel the need to broadcast it to the world. No wonder he rocks that commanding flavor-saver.

Unfortunately, it's just a classic mix-up, and Brownridge was not, in fact, guiding these 15 women on a one-day orgy that was so spectacular they could only do it once a year. Brownridge had merely arranged an annual holiday shopping trip for these women (who, based on the ad, maybe like shopping too much?).

After the ad went viral, the newspaper had to run this ad clearing things up:
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Today's Badass: Clever Woman Publicly Scorns Cheating Husband

Posted 7/18/12 12:15 pm EST by in Funny, News, Relationships, Today's Badass

Oregon woman Elle Zober was married for 10 years, before her husband left her for a "22-year-old college student who likes yoga," according to Gawker. And now Elle is calling out her cheating ex in very public fashion: via the home's For Sale sign.  It's more utilitarian than just paying a load of cash for a billboard or bus ad, which might be funny but does absolutely nothing to benefit YOU, the scorned lover.

But this, this serves a purpose: she gets her comeuppance AND cash. Sure, Zober said she did it so that people will "know it was a family home." But she did it for the publicity, let's be real. And now that savvy move is paying dividends, as it's gone viral online.

So Mr. Ex-Husband may be getting serviced by his limber new lover, but that girl is 22 which means she's also a financial black hole. Elle, on the other hand, will be raking it in after she sells to the highest bidder. Well played, Elle Zober. Well played.
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Today's Badass: Phillies Prospect Makes Barehanded Grab

Posted 7/16/12 1:30 pm EST by in Sports, Today's Badass, Video

A center fielder in the Phillies system made a spectacular catch at the wall the other day, robbing a homer using his bare hand. It's tough to tell how exactly it happened, but it looks like the ball initially hit Jiwan James' glove, which fell off behind the wall, and as he fell to the ground he caught the ball with his hand. Since it's minor league ball, the slow-mo angles are pretty scarce. But whatever happened, we've never seen a catch quite like it. Bring that kid up!

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Today's Badass: Teen Gives Gator An Arm To Save His Body

Posted 7/11/12 1:00 pm EST by in News, Today's Badass

Gawker pointed us to this bats*** crazy story of a 17-year-old Floridian who got into a fight with an alligator. While swimming in a river, the gator attacked Kaleb Langdale and he got into an honest-to-God wrasslin' match with it, a la Happy Gilmore. Realizing he was facing certain death, Langdale dangled his arm and let the beast chomp it off to momentarily appease it.

But it's not like it was one quick bite -- imagine when you're biting into beef jerky, tearing it away from your teeth and trying to snap all that stringy meat, and that's how it sounds when he recounts the story below.

"It's either my life or my arm, and the arm was just kind of out there," he said. That's a candidate for quote of the year.

Also? He stopped the bleeding with SPIDERWEBS in the woods. At 17, this dude is more of a man than we will ever be. Or, as his friend put it (in another contender for quote of the year): "He came up out of the water like daggone Superman or something, waving to us saying 'Hey, my arm's gone, call an ambulance.'"

Eventually authorities caught and killed the offending gator before slicing it open "Jaws"-style for the arm, but it was too late to salvage the limb.

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