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Are You Ready For Some Prison Rodeo?

Posted 8/30/12 2:30 pm EST by in Funny, Sports, Today's Badass


Photo via Angola Prison Rodeo

There are few people tougher than NFL players. The amount of training that you have to go through is close to torture, not to mention the physical punishment of actually playing in a professional football game. So is there any sport that may require more bravery and toughness? Yes. The prison rodeo.

That's right, every weekend in October the Angola Prison Rodeo takes place in Louisiana. But how is this tougher than professional football? Well, consider the training. The training for the Angola Prison Rodeo is simple, there is no training. You're just in prison, doing prison things and then you volunteer to be in the rodeo. The next day, you're riding a 2,000-pound bull for the first time in front of hundreds of people. A lifetime of two-a-day practices seems pretty easy compared to any stint in prison.

And as if that wasn't crazy enough, the prisoners have invented even tougher events than bull riding. One is called "Convict Poker." The rules are simple. Four prisoners are playing poker at a card table. A bull is released into the ring and begins charging at the prisoners. The last prisoner to stay seated gets $100. Drew Brees held out for months for a $100 million contract. These guys heard $100 and said, "Sure, why not?" There's a 25% chance you don't get trampled by a bull.
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Today's Badass: LL Cool J Beats Up Burglar

Posted 8/23/12 10:45 am EST by in Celebs, Hip-hop, News, Today's Badass


Credit: Michael Buckner/Getty Images

There's a "Mama Said Knock You Out" joke in here somewhere. A man broke into LL Cool J's house, and the rapper-turned-TV-star (aren't they all?) beat the living piss out of the guy. LL reportedly heard a noise in his kitchen in the middle of the night, and when he entered the room an intruder "came at him." Why would you come at LL Cool J? Dude is jacked!

In a "knock-down, drag-out fight" LL proceeded to break the guy's nose and jaw, and then restrained him until police arrived. Guess all that fake police training for "NCIS: Los Angeles" really paid off. LL is unharmed and won't be charged with assault, but man, terrifying scenario, right? This could've been much worse.

It also really makes us want to see a brawl between the two buffest throwback MC's around: LL Cool J and Dr. Dre. Who ya got?

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) would have to go with Dre.

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Today's Badass: US Soccer Gets First Win In Mexico

Posted 8/16/12 12:00 pm EST by in Sports, Today's Badass

Credit: Miguel Tovar/Getty Images

The US Men's Soccer Team was able to fend off Mexico 1-0 in a friendly game yesterday, making it America's first ever win on Mexican turf (a span of 75 years and 25 games). The spectacular game-winner came in the 80th minute, care of Orozco Fiscal, and you really need to see it because it looks like it came from an Xbox match:

Usabennyhillgoal_medium

Credit: SB Nation

By the way, Mexico (with a different roster) just won Gold at the Olympics. And our team didn't even qualify for the Olympics. I'd say the Yanks redeemed themselves. And with the Women's Team winning Gold over Japan, you can expect a whole slew of "Soccer in America is BACK!" articles. Keep scoring goals like that, and maybe it'll happen. We'll still never watch MLS, though.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) misses Alex Morgan.

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Today's Badass: Justin Theroux Proposes To Jennifer Aniston

Posted 8/13/12 10:45 am EST by in Celebs, News, Today's Badass

Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Finally. Now we can stop hearing that incessant chatter about "Will Jennifer Aniston ever find love?"  Actor Justin Theroux, who's been dating Aniston for just over a year, has stepped up to the plate and proposed.

Good for him. All her past loves and baggage, he's cut right through it. That s*** doesn't faze him. So she was married to Brad Pitt? She had a fling with John Mayer? Just make sure to use a rubber. Vince Vaughn? Would've been more intimidating if it happened before "Dodgeball."

When her marriage to Pitt ended, Aniston wasn't toxic, she was just looking both for a shoulder to cry on and a revenge lay. Hence, things like John Mayer happened. But Theroux is now realizing she got that streak out of her system. Just as she got her swagger back, Theroux swooped in. Well-played, Justin.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) has been on Team Aniston the whole time. Suck it, Team Jolie!

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Today's Badass: Usain Bolt Proves He's Really Fast, Again

Posted 8/10/12 10:30 am EST by in Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

Usain Bolt already won his second straight 100-meter gold, but just in case there were any debates about who the fastest human on the planet is, he did the same with the 200-m yesterday. That makes him the first man to win back-to-back 100-m and 200-m Golds. In other words, that motherf***er fast.

Bolt finished in 19.32 seconds, which as usual gave him plenty of time to slow up at the end of the race and begin shushing the "haters" before he even crossed the finish line. He'd make a great wide receiver. In fact, let's make it happen, people. Forget the 2016 Games, he should try and see if he could dominate another sport. We nominate football, so that we could finally find out who's faster: Bolt or Chris Johnson (by the way, it's Bolt).

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) won back-to-back silvers in the 100-m on the Nintendo Power Pad.

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Today's Badass: Misty And Kerri Win Third Straight Beach Volleyball Gold

Posted 8/9/12 11:00 am EST by in Ladies, Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

America's dynamic beach volleyball duo of Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings won their third straight gold medal last night after defeating another US team in the final, but that pair's names don't matter because together, Kerri and Misty have never lost an Olympic match. That's 21-0 since the 2004 Athens Games, during which time they've only lost one set out of 43. Imagine if Michael Phelps had only lost one heat in his three Olympics. It's kind of like that.

We talk about dominance in sports all the time. This is as dominant as you can get. USA Basketball-level. They're not just retiring on top. They're retiring as THE sport. They are beach volleyball. Just proves that NOBODY can rock out in a skimpy bathing suit like American girls can. Rest of the world, you can have your fencing and cricket, we'll take our beach party sports, thank you very much.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) can't believe he already has to wait four years to watch this stuff again.

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Today's Badass: Andre Iguodala Goaltends Himself

Posted 8/8/12 12:30 pm EST by in Funny, Sports, Today's Badass

What Happens When You Block Your Own Dunk?
Credit: Buzzfeed

Turns out that Carmelo Anthony nut-shot in this week's game against Argentina wasn't the only bizarre moment of the match-up. As you can see above, Andre Iguodala did the impossible. Iggy laid down a monster jam, only to have it hit him squarely in the chest and bounce back up perfectly through the hoop, nothing but net. It all happened so fast that the refs didn't count the basket at first, which is understandable. They eventually overturned the ruling and gave us the points, but it's clear it should've been like one of those "Rock N' Jock" 8-pointers. The question is, who did it better? Jeff Green's dunk that had a similar bounce off his own head didn't actually pass all the way through the net, so it didn't count. For this one, Iggy got the points, so even though it was an accidental fluke, it's badass.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) was told by his parents that he was an accidental fluke.

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Today's Badass: Alex Morgan Goal Sends U.S. To Gold Medal Game

Posted 8/7/12 10:15 am EST by in Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Stanley Chou/Getty Images

The US women's soccer team was locked up with Canada at 3-3 with just 30 seconds left in extra time. It was a weird game, one in which Canuck striker Christine Sinclair had a hat trick, and the US was clawing back from a one-goal deficit for most of the game. But then Alex Morgan (our favorite player, partly because of her off-field "talents," we'll admit it) received a perfect cross and buried a header for the game-winning goal. Now the US is headed to the Gold Medal game against Japan -- a chance for vengeance after losing to them in the 2011 World Cup final in a penalty shootout.

Check out Morgan's goal, and then to  get more of your Alex Morgan fix, head over to Buzzfeed where they've got her totally endearing post-game interview.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) lives in New York, where he stresses about keeping up with his RSS feeds.

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Today's Badass: Judo Medalist Punches Bottle-Thrower

Posted 8/6/12 10:30 am EST by in Funny, Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Adam Pretty/Getty Images

Usain Bolt gave us the most thrilling 9.63 seconds in the Olympics yesterday during the men's 100-meter dash. But it was almost ruined thanks to a drunken moron who pelted a beer bottle onto the track moments before the race started. The bottle hit the track after the runners took the marks and were waiting for the gun to go off.

What a dick! Could you imagine if Bolt had heard the bottle, flinched and been disqualified? There would have been riots in London. Luckily, it didn't come to that. And thanks to Dutch judo bronze medalist Edith Bosch, cops have the perp. You can see Bosch below, in the black jacket, confronting the rogue thrower:
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Today's Badass: Carmelo Anthony Is Likeable Again

Posted 8/3/12 12:30 pm EST by in Sports, Today's Badass


Credit: Getty Images

Carmelo Anthony frustrated Denver Nuggets fans for eight seasons and now haunts New York Knicks fans' nightmares. The 28-year-old forward is obviously an elite talent and fun-as-hell to watch. Unfortunately, when he needs to be a leader as well as a team player, Melo usually falls short. He's also fallen short in the charisma department, demanding to be the only star on his team. Not in the 2012 Summer Olympics though.

Melo isn't in the starting lineup on Team USA, but we haven't heard one complaint. He's played lights-out and yesterday set a new U.S. Olympic scoring record with 37 points against Nigeria, going 10 for 12 from three-point land. Being 6'8" with speed and scoring ability from the outside, he's made for international play.

That's not the only reason he's Today's Badass though. Off of the court, Melo hasn't been cocky or a diva. He's just goofing around with his teammates, hugging it out with Michelle Obama, Instagramming photos of himself as Semmi from "Coming To America," grabbing photos with the US gymnasts and vowing to punk Kevin Love for showing the world Melo's sleep face. This is the player New Yorkers were hoping for when the Knicks paid a king's ransom for him. Hopefully it carries into next season.


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