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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

batman wedding
Photo via Unreality Magazine

Usually when a guy gets married, it won't be long until the Mrs. throws away his comic books...or at least hides them in the basement, so she won't be embarrassed to throw dinner parties. Fortunately, one couple turned their nuptials into a Gotham City affair.

"I grew up obsessed with Batgirl," the bride explained. "Our relationship bonded over our superhero obsessions, so why not have a Batman wedding?"

Our friends at Unreality Magazine have the full gallery, masks and all. On a related note, they're running a contest for the best Batman tattoo design. How about a tattoo of this guy's awesome wife? (We know it's wrong to covet, so we'll just say "congrats!")

MORE: "The Most Elaborate Batgirl/Nightwing Themed Wedding You'll Ever See"

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Rapid-Realty-NYC-Tattoo-Group-Shot
Credit: RealDeal.com

How far would you go to impress your boss? If you work at Rapid Realty, a New York City real estate firm, you can earn a 15% raise...for getting a tattoo of the company logo.

Forty out of 750 employees have already gotten inked. The tattoos can be hidden--unlike a Mitt Romney logo face tat--but that doesn't make it any less permanent. If any of these workers jump ship and head to the competition, do they ask for laser tattoo removal in their benefits package? And how far away are we, really, from human billboards?

"My wife was a little concerned," a Rapid Realty staffer told the New York Daily News, "but I said, 'You know what? It was the best commitment I could think of.'"

We can't blame a guy for getting paid extra...but no matter what color your tattoo is, after kissing your boss's ass this hard, your nose is gonna be spattered with brown.

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kobe2Photo: Sports Mashup

Some fans wear jerseys, some fans wear hats and some fans wear body paint. Far fewer fans get tattoos for their favorite teams, and fewer still get inked in honor of their favorite players. But those who do prove a dedication that surpasses the rest of us. Today, we celebrate those fanatical fools with tattoos of NBA players, some legends and some nowhere close.

Tracy McGrady

T-Mac had a chance to be one of the best ever. Most people thought he never reached that potential. This dude is not most people.

tracy-mcgrady
Photo: Hooped Up

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kerouac tat
Photo: Tattoolit.com

Writers often call themselves "ink-stained wretches," but there's nothing wretched about getting 'em inked. A tattoo of your favorite author (like Jack Kerouac above, from the book "The Word Made Flesh") identifies you as a thoughtful, cultured person...and looks pretty damn awesome, judging from these tats of legendary novelists past and present.

James Baldwin

Broke racial and sexual barriers in his books and social activism. Sadly, he smoked too many of those cigarettes for his own good. (In case you hadn't heard, writers don't tend to care too much about their health.)

james baldwin
Photo: Tattoogathering.com

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ass face tattoo
Photo via Hypervocal

"Guy Code" is saving one guy at a time, but we were too late to save the above British lad. (The one on the left, to be specific. You're not seeing double.) Just yesterday we explained how Ryan Cabrera broke the Code with a Ryan Gosling tattoo on his leg. Little did we know that, across the pond, a tragically misguided young man was getting his friend's face tattooed on his buttock.

In a YouTube video titled "Bros Before Hoes," now deleted for violating the site's terms of service (it also violated male friendship's terms of service), the two buddies unveil and celebrate the ass-terpiece. Good luck sealing the deal with a female ever again, mate...with the bedroom light on anyway.

As we previously mentioned, it's OK to get some guys' faces inked on your body (Jesus, 2Pac, Abraham Lincoln, your own face if you're Steve-O), but this goes too far, no matter how much a bro he is. Click below for more NSFW Code-breaking photos.

MORE: "Cheeky British Lad Gets Friends Face Tattooed On His Entire Ass Cheek"

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ryan cabrera ryan gosling tattoo
Credit: Getty Images

Sometimes guys drink too much and wake up with an ill-advised tattoo. It happens to the best of us. However, Ryan Cabrera crossed the line when he got Ryan Gosling's face inked on his leg. He explained to The Las Vegas Review-Journal that his friends "like to play a game called Tattoo Roulette. We blindfold each other: 'You get to pick a tattoo for me, and I get to pick a tattoo for you.' And you don't get to see it 'til they're both done." We admire that Cabrera has no regrets, which is always a good attitude: "I'm very proud of it," he told reporters. "I consider it the Bentley of tattoos."

However, there are only six examples where it's OK to get another man's face tattooed on your body and the star of "The Notebook" isn't one of them. Sure, go ahead and get a tat of yourself like Steve-O, but not of someone else, unless it's one of these exceptions...

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yomico moreno tattoo
Credit: Yomico Moreno

Most tattoo parlor employees don't have 25,000 Facebook fans, but most of 'em aren't nearly as talented as this guy. His optical illusions are both surreal and ultra-realistic. As Unreality Magazine (which has a gallery of half-man/half-machine ink) puts it:

"If I were being impulsive and shooting for the 'badass' level of tattoo, there would be only one man I'd call: Yomico Morena. The Venezuelan tattoo artist has many cool designs, but my favorite by far are his Terminator pieces which shows metal and fiber under torn away skin. This is practically too cool NOT to be on my body."

MORE: "If I Ever Got A Tattoo, I'd Want Yomico Moreno To Do It"

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top-photo

I purchased my first Suicide Girls' membership with money I earned from stocking grocery store shelves, which should give you an idea of how long I've been a fan. Back when I lived in Phoenix, I used be a roller derby commentator for free (not even free beer) because I just liked to be around sexy tattooed girls. So when Suicide Girls' sent me a press copy of their new book "Hard Girls, Soft Light," I knew I've truly arrived.

They were even nice enough to send me photos of my favorite tattoos from the book, which we profile below. The nudity is cropped out [because we're a family destination at MTV], but you still don't want to be caught browsing these photos at work.
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Credit: AFP/Getty Images

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" no longer applies to gay U.S. troops, but their Russian counterparts aren't so lucky. Vladimir Putin's Defense Ministry has authorized new medical exam guidelines to check for tattoos, which can supposedly indicate "possible sexual deviations." Especially if they're in certain locations: "Special attention should be paid to tattoos around the face and on the sex organs and buttocks."

The guidelines were inspired by a 2005 psychology textbook that links "the malleability of the young man" who gets tattoed out of peer pressure with "disposition to submit to another's will." You know, in the barracks?

First off, most gay dudes--we're guessing--don't have dong tats. Secondly, holy crap, that sounds painful. (There is not enough local anesthetic in this world...) Thirdly, implementing a mandatory dick and ass examination probably says waaaaay more about homophobic officials than it does about any individual soldier.

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One of the great additions to "Guy Code" in Season Three (which premieres on MTV2 January 15 at 11/10c) is comedian Dan Soder, who performed on Conan O'Brien's show last night. He covered topics ranging from why young guys' tattoos are less intimidating than old guys' tattoos--an inspirational quote or a koi fish won't make you look like a badass--to how you can avoid getting mugged by faking a Russian accent, because "Russians are the scariest white people." (Especially the old tattooed ones?)

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