In a sport as old as Shakespeare, it's no surprise the fairer sex has a long history of looking damn good while playing. It’s probably the most we’ll ever support wantonly smacking balls. Tennis players spend all day in a total body workout, wear ponytails and miniskirts, and grunt emphatically with every strike. Also, a great number are from Eastern Europe, a sector known for cold climes and hot women.
Here’s a look at the evolution of the Lovely Lady Tennis Player in our time.
If All-Star exhibition games are the only NBA-caliber action we get for the next several months, at least they're highlight reels. In an exhibition last night before a near-capacity crowd at Morgan State University in Baltimore, Kevin Durant's Washington D.C.-based Goodman League squad faced Carmelo Anthony's Baltimore-based Melo League team, led by Anthony, LeBron James and Chris Paul. Durant emerged as the star of the game, scoring 59 points, although KD's squad fell 149-141 to Melo and Co.'s.
This game, along with every other stop on Durant's tour-de-you-got-wrecked, has been the only positive news during the contentious NBA lockout. Representatives for the players and owners are meeting today, though, for the first time in a long time.
Hating on LeBron James is a sport too, so we'll point out that Durant and All Defensive Team member @KingJames "went at each other" for most of the game. LeBron, who is getting coached up on his low post game by Hakeem Olajuwon, scored 32. That's weak in comparison. Check out the highlights.
Photo: Getty Images
NFL players love to bust a move. Sometimes choreographed, often to celebrate, other times because the game forces them to contort and launch their bodies, you will invariably see some football players dancing--or appear to be dancing--when you tune in each Sunday. "Dancing With The Stars" has not cornered the market on twinkle toes athletes. Check out the NFL's best dance shots on the next page.
On on the final episode of "The DUB Magazine Project," Texas's own Paul Wall takes the Kawasaki Dirtball Challenge and attempts to jerk New Boyz out of their number one spot. Paul Wall is the last competitor for the title; he brings his Cadillac Escalade ESV, an unbelievable grill and some serious swagger to the game.
"Drive slow at all times," Paul Wall says on his way to the dirt track. That's great advice when rolling around Texas in an $80,000 Escalade, but not when you're trying to beat the current record of 1:04.6. Lucky for him, he decides to not drive slow this time and uses his mad "Mario Kart skills" to beat the New Boyz record by nearly three seconds. Congratulations, Paul Wall, you're the fastest dirtball of all. Have fun with your new Kawasaki ride.
Watch the full episode of "The Dub Magazine Project."
Laboring throughout, Sogelau Tuvalu ran the second slowest 100 meter time in the history of the IAAF World Championships this past weekend. And he couldn't be prouder. Because the 17-year-old shot-putter of American Samoa wasn't even supposed to be competing in the event, but having failed to qualify in the shot put, he said, "Hey, f*** it! I'm already here." And he signed up for the 100m race. Now that is the mark of a true badass. Not giving a single f***.
The announcers laughed heartily at Tuvalu's expense, perhaps misguided about his goals, but also understandably because the scene was quite a spectacle. Prior to the race, betting websites listed Tuvalu's odds of winning at 50,000 to 1. In other words, the line-setters sooner thought that the remainder of the seven-man field would either collapse during the race, get attacked by a band of unruly birds, stop mid-race to take a huge dump or otherwise fail to complete the 100 meters in less than 15.66 seconds--Tuvalu's time. That time, by the way, was the young man's personal best. “I believed in myself,” he said of the effort. “This is a dream come true.” You've got to see it.
The column known as Monday Morning Lingerie--a recap of the previous weekend of lingerie football action--has been moved to Tuesday this week due to Hurricane Irene.
The 2011-2012 LFL season kicked off with a thrilling game between the Minnesota Valkyrie and Green Bay Chill--a pair of expansion teams--won 28-25 by the bruising Valkyrie. Minnesota led most of the way, but a plucky Green Bay squad kept clawing back into the game. The difference was the Chill's poor tackling. Green Bay needs to work on form tackling and wrapping up, and we nominate this guy to come to its facility to demonstrate.
Lest you mistake this column for a completely serious account of the action:
THE MOST SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE PLAY OF THE WEEK
Hurricane Irene wreaked havoc on most of the Eastern Seaboard and forced the evacuation of thousands New York City residents. However, the threat did not stop a group of part brave, part insane dudes from playing rugby in an otherwise empty Times Square.
The men competed in the "Hurricane Cup," as the cameraman calls it, at around 9 p.m. on Saturday as rain poured down on New York's abandoned streets. What would possess a group of guys to strap on their uniforms and tackle one another on cement with 80 mile-per-hour winds closing in? Well, because it's kind of awesome and makes for great amateur footage. That's part of it. The other part is a desire to say "Eff you, Mother Nature! You may bring your high winds and flooding, but you will never take our freedom!!!!" Watch the video with some (entertaining) NSFW language from the cameraman.
LADIES CB/WR Mikayla for LFL's Tampa Breeze joins "Survivor" cast [Busted Coverage]
We'd form an alliance with her.
STAGE 2011 VMA performances (videos) [The Urban Daily]
"Otis" live plus pyrotechnics, FTW.
BOARDS 2011 Street League championship video [Transworld Skateboarding]
In case you missed it--the winner's name does not rhyme with Byjah Fuston.
IN SESSION 22 fascinating and bizarre classes offered this semester [Mental Floss]
Theory and History of Video Games: rewarding sedentary video game addicts since 2011.
RIDICULOUSNESS 5 extreme sports fails [BuzzFeed]
If you build it, they will come..to fall off it.
BAD IDEA 5 actors who regrettably dabbled in music [Holy Taco]
When actors and actresses grab the microphone, things can get ugly.
REPOSSESSED Muay Thai tow in South Beach [TruTV]
Wonder how he'll handle the judge.
UP THERE World's highest thing of the day [Daily What]
It's a 160m swing--not your roommate.
Photo: Busted Coverage
The 2011 Lingerie Football League (LFL) season kicks off at 10 p.m. ET tonight on MTV2 with a clash between the Minnesota Valkyrie and the Green Bay Chill. It seems like only a few years ago lingerie football was just a diversion during Super Bowl halftime for people looking for something more exciting than the Black Eyed Peas and less adorable than the Puppy Bowl. Now the LFL has grown to 12 teams with the addition of the Cleveland Crush, Las Vegas Sin, Toronto Triumph and the teams facing off tonight--Valkyrie and Chill (three teams from 2010 have suspended play). That means, of course, the league will have eight more games, 40 more butts and 80 more boobs this season. Our math teachers would be proud.
To be clear, if you're not already acquainted with the LFL: It isn't flag football or powder-puff. The ladies are former college athletes who happen to be hot and attempt to physically harm their opponents in pursuit of a league title. Here at Clutch we look forward to another season of titillating action and also for an opportunity to get more lingerie-buying tips from the ladies, hear some great trash talk and watch some big hits and jiggly celebration dances. After the jump, check out five more things to watch for this season.