Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
GoPro has come up with a great way to advertise its product: Give the camera to complete maniacs and let them do whatever they want with it, 'cause those videos make us want to film ourselves riding a bike out of a helicopter and then landing on a shark. Truth be told, we'd just film ourselves playing touch football with our friends (that should get a lot of views), because there's no way we can compete with these badasses...
1. Mountain Bike Flip Over Canyon
You'd think that riding along the edge of a cliff would be enough, but not for Kelly McGarry. You feel like you're going to fall off a mountain when he does the back flip.
The Miami Dolphins and Ryan Tannehill started out hot this season, going 3-0, but have since cooled off, losing three in a row. Tannehill has been up and down this year, averaging 16.51 fantasy points per game, but things may get a little easier against the banged-up New England Patriots' secondary, and I've got him going for 18.5. Regardless of how the Dolphins look, there is plenty of talent in Miami, and Lauren Tannehill is no exception. She's a 10.5, a call so easy even the ref from the Patriots-Jets game could get it right, bringing their total to 29.0.
Tonight, baseball fans across the country will tune in for the first game of the 2013 World Series. Sports bars in Boston and St. Louis will be especially packed. Which means, if you're in one of those cities, that you'll be crunched between even more, even sweatier dudes than normal. But you might, just might, meet a special girl who shares your Cardinals or Red Sox obsession. (A special girl who, if you're from New England, shares your uncontrollable, seething rage!)
It's World Series time again, and just because you know absolutely nothing about baseball doesn't mean you have to sit there like a dummy while your friends talk about last night's game. (At least, the parts they stayed awake for.) Never fear, here are all the facts you need to keep yourself in the know for this year's Fall Classic.
1. Both Fan Bases Suck
The Cardinals and Red Sox boast the most obnoxious fans in baseball, aside from the Yankees. The Cardinals' true believers call themselves "The Best Fans In Baseball," which makes them "The Worst People Alive," and Red Sox fans are from Boston, which means they think it's totally cool to be an a-hole. Boston, you've won titles in all four major sports over the past 10 years -- feel free to get that chip off your shoulder!
2. Yadier Is King Of The Molinas
Yadier Molina is not only the greatest of baseball's three Molina catchers; he's also the only one who isn't super fat. Search Google Images for "Bengie and Jose," and know that anyone's MLB dreams can come true...anyone's.
3. It's A Rematch
These two teams met in the 2004 World Series, back when the Red Sox finally broke the "Curse Of The Bambino" and should've stopped screaming all the time. Mike Matheny, now the Cardinals' manager, is one of two 2004 Cardinals still involved with the team. If the Red Sox win, there's a pretty good chance he's gonna break down in tears, charge the mound and give Dustin Pedroia a beating nearly a decade in the making.
Pretty much everyone can agree that tormenting people weaker than you isn't cool. However, when it comes to sports, that's kind of the whole point. Now education officials in Texas must actually decide whether athletic talent qualifies students as bullies.
Last Friday, a Fort Worth high school's football team got crushed 91-0 by its rivals from Aledo. The losing players could console themselves with the fact that Aledo is undefeated this season, cumulatively scoring 485-47 over seven games.
Instead, the parents of one Fort Worth student consoled themselves by filing a bullying complaint with the local school district, which must by law take it seriously. At issue is whether the state's official definition of bullying as "an imbalance of power or strength" applies to, y'know, 91-0 humiliations on the football field. (Because varsity jocks are such victims of social oppression, such delicate flowers.)
Even the losing team's coach believes the complaint is without merit, admitting that Aledo won fair and square: "They're No. 1 for a reason." The real irony here is that, after receiving international scorn over his parents' overprotective stupidity, this football player actually will be mercilessly teased by all his peers.
Despite his six interceptions Jay Cutler has a 95.2 QB rating and has lead the Bears to a 4-2 record. On the other side of the ball, it's been a disappointing season for the Washington Redskins who are 1-5 against the spread in their past six games. Their D is 28th in the league allowing 395 yards a game proving that the only people in D.C. capable of a shut down defense are the politicians. Bears win in a landslide victory.
Cincinnati Bengals At Detroit Lions
Both teams are named after ferocious cats, both teams are 4-2 and both teams are undefeated at home. The Bengals have looked solid even though the Red Rifle Andy Dalton has been occasionally firing blanks en route to a 87.2 QB rating. Detroit has dominated both their home games this year even with Megatron on the mend, and I expect Reggie Bush to have a break out game.
You may have watched "Bellator MMA" on MTV2 a couple years ago and you should be watching it now on Spike every Friday night. It features amazing fights and the even more amazing ring girls, Mercedes Terrell and Jade Bryce. They're a sight for sore eyes, especially the sore eyes of male competitors who just got dropkicked in the face.
Well, they're looking for a new ring girl to join them, which inspired a hide-and-seek photo shoot in a bunch of lingerie. What? Isn't that how all job searches are conducted? Admire their innovative H.R. efforts and then vote for the winning applicant by clicking below:
Some grandfathers expect their children's children to inherit a family business or carry on a proud military tradition. But Peter Edwards of England had a hunch that his one-year-old grandson, Harry Wilson, would eventually play for the Wales soccer team, because "he used to chase a ball around on the carpet before he could walk."
Wilson, now 16, played as a substitute for Wales (the youngest in its history) against Belgium for a shot at the World Cup. It was a draw for the team, but a huge victory for pop-pop. "[W]hen he came on I had another glass of wine," Edwards said in a BBC interview, calling himself "a proud granddad first for sure." And a proud rich dude second.
Perhaps the best part of this story: Edwards's job kept him away from his wife for almost 26 days per month, so -- after cashing in his winnings -- he immediately retired to spend more time with her. "She is over the moon," he told the BBC. "Not bad for a daft bet."
We have to hand it to the guys at Signal Snowboards -- not only can they write a trip to Oktoberfest off their taxes as a legitimate business expense, but they also brought some good ol' fashioned American ingenuity to the beloved German festival. Designing the world's first (we're assuming) "beer bong snowboard," they hit the taps and then hit the slopes. We wish we could jump inside this video to experience all the fun for ourselves, but we'll just have to wait 'til our mountain getaway this winter:
Palmer is only averaging 12.74 fantasy points per game, which is horrible until you remember the QB carousel of crap the Cardinals had starting for them last year. Fantasy owners may not be big fan of him, but his wife Shaelyn is. She's easily an 8.5, and I'll predict Carson will continue to struggle against the stingy Seattle defense, earning him an 11.5 for a couple total of 20.0.
Big Ben came up short in the shadow of losing to the Vikings, but redeemed himself with the Steelers' first win against the Jets. Roethlisberger is maintaining a respectable 16.24 fantasy average this year, and I predict he'll exceed that this week at home against the Ravens with an 18-point performance. His wife, Ashley Harlan, is a Pennsylvania native and classic hometown hottie at 9.5 for a combined total of 27.5.