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Anguish knows no nationality. Humor, maybe. Despite the fact that probably all of the Olympic weightlifters in this gallery could kick our asses, we're going to laugh at their pained expressions anyway. But there's an important lesson here too: It appears that by rule, guys who want be power lifters must have a crazy weightlifting expression. For most, it's the agony of lifting an impossible amount of the weight in the air. Sometimes, lifters smirk. That's not funny, though. Now laugh at all the goofy faces.
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Here's everything you probably know about beach volleyball: It's volleyball, it's played on the beach, it involves attractive women. It's true and all relevant, but not all that matters. There's one more thing you should know about the sport and it's this: Teammates regularly signal to one another behind their backs and photographers regularly take pictures of those signals. Finding out what the signals mean would involve learning far more about the sport than we care to know. That won't stop us from admiring them though. Just look at those knuckles. Amazing stuff.
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Sure, we've all been known to throw an Xbox controller in a fit of disgust or flip over a Scrabble board after a particularly heated game. But a real man loses with dignity. Even when it comes to hair. If it's gone, and some sort of pill or cream doesn't work, then your options are to just let it go, or look like Donald Trump.
Of course, there is a third, more ridiculous way. And that would be the fake-hair route. Toupees, spray-on hair, plugs, transplants, extensions...it's all just a fancy way of saying FAKE HAIR. Wes Welker is the latest celeb to go to such great lengths to salvage his coif, even agreeing to appear in ads for the doctor who did his procedure. We don't yet know how Welker will look, but judging by these seven famous guys who violate the Never Use Fake Hair bylaw, he'll look ridiculous.
Silverware polish: the original hair-in-a-can. Read More...
Before heading over to London, a number of U.S. Olympic athletes descended on Times Square to meet fans and shamelessly promote their sports. Since they were right outside our offices, we couldn't pass up meeting a few of them and asking them inane questions. Luckily our buddy Tyler from MTV's "The Challenge" is an Olympics super-fan and was available to head out with a camera crew. In true Guy Code fashion, he convinces the women's beach volleyball team to shake their asses for the camera, asks the men's beach volleyball players how tough it is for them to get laid and even talks to a real beefeater. We still don't really understand what a beefeater is, but we imagine you'll be seeing a lot more of them in Olympics coverage.
To see all the interviews, check out the video below, and get psyched because USA's total world domination starts next week.
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I live in Brooklyn. I am a disgruntled Knicks fan. I am exactly who the Nets are looking for.
As a child, watching the Knicks' thug squad of the '90s tear opponents apart solidified my undying devotion to the Blue & Orange. I was optimistic and maybe a bit delusional about my team. For example, I have a theory that Michael Jordan only worked on his fade-away because the Knicks' front line enjoyed feeding him elbows any time he tried to drive. Yes, I bought in. Unfortunately, in 2001, so did James Dolan. When Jeff Van Gundy walked, we should have seen the signs. After that, a decade of bulls*** moves and less-than-mediocre basketball surrounded the team. Things don't seem to be getting any better, either.
So, consider this my resignation from Knicks Nation. Today I declare myself a Brooklyn Nets fan. I feel bad for my friends who remain loyal. The dirty secret all Knicks fans already know is the team will never win a title behind Carmelo Anthony, Amar'e Stoudemire and their two huge contracts. That realization and the following five reasons are why I'm switching my colors to black and white.
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The London Olympics are right around the corner, and in addition to giving you an excuse to paint your face with Old Glory as you watch Bob Costas wax poetic on adversity and courage and triumph, it's also one of the few times in life where you are encouraged-- nay, OBLIGATED --to ogle babes who are wearing nothing but spandex.
But how will you focus on the right athletes with so many to choose from? We're here to help. Throughout the Summer Games we'll be doing a regular feature called Gold Medal Babes. We'll pick a sport, and list the chicks that you should be watching in that sport. And then we'll poll you, the valuable reader, to see who you think is the hottest. The top three vote-getters will receive Gold, Silver, and Bronze medals. (Note: These are Internet medals, and thus only exist in the abstract sense and the women will not be receiving any tangible reward. Sorry, babes. Take it up with corporate!)
So ahead of the games, here are some of the favorites.
Meet Michelle Jenneke, a 19-year-old hurdler from Australia. Her spunky little dance before a race the other day pretty much made the Internet uhsplode. It's great in GIF form, but you really should watch the full video. Is she good at the sport? It would appear that she is, not that it matters for the medals we're handing out.
Chicago Cubs fans found out a lot about their team, thanks to some enlightening revelations from Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis. The guys stopped at Wrigley Field while on the road to promote their new movie "The Campaign," but we don't think anyone actually knew they were coming. It was a random afternoon game and the seats look half-empty.
The comedians threw the opening pitches, but not before getting a huge, greasy deep dish pizza delivered to the mound. Galifianakis, looking dapper in a blazer and a yellow visor, had nothing on Ferrell's solid pitch (Who knew he could throw? We demand a remake of "Major League" with Ferrell reprising Charlie Sheen's role). The guys also grabbed the mic and announced the Cubs' starting lineup, tweaking it a bit. Did you know Darwin Barney and Luis Valbuena actually like walking naked on a beach together?
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Meet comedian Jon Daly, on the left. His name is one letter off from infamous pro golfer John Daly, on the right. The comedian has launched the Jo(h)n Daly Project (a.k.a. Jon Daly is John Daly), which basically aims to flood Google Images with photos of Jon Daly (comedian) when you search for John Daly (golfer). Still with us? OK, good. This is known as a Google Bomb. Previous victims of such internet trickery include Rick Santorum and ESPN's Craig James. It is always funny. But this one takes the practice to another level by going the image route.
Why is Jon Daly doing this? Because it is slightly insane and completely rad, just like John Daly. (Here's the longer explanation.) And we want to help. All you have to do is go to his site and Like or Tweet or otherwise share the photos he's uploaded of himself as John Daly. Or you can Photoshop your own and send them around.
We can't just tell you to help spread the photos like wildfire without chipping in ourselves, so we're sharing some of our favorite "John Daly" photos below.
To be a pitcher in Major League Baseball, you must master the fist-pump. Not necessarily the "Jersey Shore" brand of fist-pumping, or the Tiger Woods uppercut style fist-pump, but a firm fist to let everyone know that you're damn glad to get that batter out. Some pitchers pair fist-pumps with yelling or gyrations, others do it modestly. With great pleasure, we've explored some of the distinguished fist-pumps in the game and present them to you after the jump.
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We all love to exaggerate the Tim Tebow religious angle, for instance by joking that he had "Angels in the Outfield"-like help during some of his improbable victories last season. But now the guy officially has apostles. It's happening. Pious churchgoers will be trekking to the den of vice and wickedness known as New York to watch the Chosen One (After Mark Sanchez) during Jets training camp.
According to Pro Football Talk, officials in Cortland County (where the Jets practice) have been fielding several calls from church groups looking for information on visiting during training camp. And we're guessing they're not flocking to see known foot fetishist Rex Ryan or baby-makin' machine Antonio Cromartie. Soon, all will Te-bow at the altar of Tebow (again, assuming he beats out Sanchez, which is not exactly a QB controversy worth having).