You've got to keep it clean, fellas. Hygiene is an absolute necessity, unless you're trolling for babes at a Phish concert in Vermont. Those chicks don't care, but others will blast you with pepper spray just to make your B.O. seem less offensive in comparison. Who better to help clean you up than Jimmy "The Mouth of the South" Hart?
We continue our series of WWE memes with one of the greatest pro wrestling managers of all time (who didn't actually write these captions), known for causing trouble outside the ring with his trademark megaphone, which he'd occasionally brandish as a weapon. He continues to work with the WWE in various capacities and is signed to a Legends deal. And now he's gonna help you manage your gross habits...
For more on B.O., watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
We are days away from all the Fa-la-la-laing and the jingle belling of Christmas. The excitement is in the air as a brand new pile of swag is about to get stuffed under the tree. Before you kiss Christmas 2012 good night, we thought it'd be best to wish you a happy holiday with another set of memes featuring classic WWE superstars. We love a good heel, but 'tis the season for heroes and good guys and one of our favorite Faces in wrestling, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan.
Duggan arrived on the WWE scene in '87 and immediately made his presence known by charging to the ring, 2x4 in hand, to proudly display his American patriotism. He feuded with some of the all-time greats including "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, Andre the Giant, Nikolai Volkoff and Bad News Brown among many others. While Duggan was never a true contender for any belt, he often provided comic relief, which is why he is the perfect choice for this set of memes to help celebrate your holiday. Merry Christmas, tough guy!
Step aside, vegans. It's Thanksgiving, we're comin' through and we've got a mascot from the WWE who can stomp skulls and whip us up a sick pot of mashed potatoes.
King Kong Bundy first made his mark by defeating some loser in nine seconds at the first Wrestlemania, a record that stood for 23 years. He then feuded with Andre the Giant and challenged Hulk Hogan for the WWE Championship in a steel cage but lost. We also can't overlook his Emmy-worthy cameo on "Married…with Children" back in the '80s.
And now, he's helping usher in Thanksgiving with tips on how to make a great meal for your loved ones. Enjoy your Thanksgiving with this set of memes as part of our classic WWE Superstar series.
Halloween is right around the corner. Ghouls and ghosts and all that other crap have invaded our lives. By now, you should have your costume picked out, your party spot determined and your crew in tow. This year promises to be just as crazy as Halloweens in the past, which is why we decided to get a little crazy for our next set of WWE memes featuring classic superstars.
Kamala was also known as "The Ugandan Giant." He feuded with Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, and Jake "The Snake" Roberts, where it was strangely revealed that he had a fear of snakes. After leaving the WWE for a short while he returned as a heel-turned-face. Although with that face we see nothing, but evil. We couldn't think of a better wrestler to help us celebrate Halloween. Or rather, creep us the f*** out for Halloween.
Credit: Getty Images
Remember WWE wrestler Daivari? He was the heel who Vince McMahon cast after the September 11th attacks to symbolize American suspicions against the Arab world. In classic WWE fashion, Daivari teamed up with Muhammed Hassan as a pair of Arab-Americans who were fed up with all the profiling against Arabs. It was a very touchy subject to deal with at the time, but Vince found a way. Daivari's storyline even managed to resurrect Hulk Hogan and that theme song we've all come to know and love.
Well, in every sense of the definition of irony Daivari was nowhere near the angry Arab-American he portrayed. According to TMZ, Daivari thwarted some maniac in Minneapolis who threatened to kill an entire train of passengers. As a flurry of racial slurs were screamed out, an emergency button was pushed to alert authorities. However, Daivari was tired of waiting around and sprung into Badass Mode. He crept up on the jerk, slapped a choke hold on him, and threw him off the train at the next stop. He may not have been a fan favorite while wrestling with the WWE, but he is certainly a force to be reckoned with on the Minneapolis Metro Transit Rail.
Nowadays, you can catch Daivari wrestling for TNA under the name Sheik Abdul Bashir. He remains a heel, but something tells us that may change in the near future. As for the jackass who threatened an entire train, witnesses claimed that Daivari had clamped down so hard on him that he wet his pants. No word on whether Daivari's theme played as he exited the train.
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RG Daniels (@RGDaniels) is a comedian in Brooklyn, NY.
We love it when we take our girl out and all eyes are on her. There's a feeling of knowing you got a great chick by your side and everyone is jealous. However, if she's worth a damn, guys are gonna flirt with her. Accept it, understand it, move on from it. To show you just how grimy it could be we've decided to continue our series of memes featuring classic WWE Superstars.
The Honky Tonk Man is a seasoned heel. He was the Intercontinental Champ and really took a liking to introducing his guitar to the heads of his opponents. In a sense, this guy was a genuine creepo-scumbag. We're not sure if he will ever get inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, but we feel he is the perfect jerk for these memes where he slides up on your lady.
If hate morphed itself into human form, it would be none other than Ted "The Million Dollar Man" DiBiase. A WWE Hall-of-Famer and one of the most well-known heels in wrestling history, DiBiase has the charm of a puddle of vomit. His sinister laugh still resonates with fans. At one point in his career, he had the guts to buy the Championship belt from Andre the Giant. Nevertheless, he was a tag-team champ, the King of the Ring and, in our eyes, the perfect spokesman for our next series of memes about hate.
For more on Haters, watch "Guy Code" tonight on MTV2 at 11/10c
It's important to take care of yourself. Gone are the days of counting down to your heart attack. We're living longer and there's temptation around every corner. Luckily, we found a couple of friends who can help you stay fit with simple tips on how to stay healthy. Whether you're a lanky 6-footer waking up at 4am to work on your free throws, or a bulked-up CrossFitter doing burpees 'til you puke, WWE superstar tag team Demolition will show you the way.
Demolition were Tag Team champs an astonishing three times throughout their run. They took out teams like the Hart Foundation, The Killer Bees and Strike Force. Looking like they just jumped out of an '80s action flick set in the year 3000, these dudes knew how to punish opponents. They may not seem like the poster boys for good health, but are you gonna be the one refusing their advice? We didn't think so. Get off your ass and get in shape with these Demolition memes as part of our ongoing classic WWE Superstar series.
Everybody makes mistakes. We're only human. It doesn't make it any easier when we make them, though. Sometimes we wish we had a way of being protected from danger, from committing those fatal errors that make us look foolish in the eyes of our best friends and lovers. Well, we found the perfect man to protect us from the evils of the world. He is former WWE Superstar and Hall-of-Famer Junkyard Dog.
The JYD was tragically taken from us in 1998. However, his soul lives on and from way up above the clouds he looks down on us to make sure we don't screw things up. When you are in doubt about what to do next, the JYD will protect you. We continue our series of WWE Superstars with a list of JYD memes that will help you through your days.
You're having a bad day. The world could be a cruel place and we've all felt trapped in the swimming pool of tar called life. Hang in there, Champ! We found just the guy to help you through this mess. He's a warm fella with a big smile and an even bigger heart. He's former WWE Superstar Hillbilly Jim!
The good ol' country boy was known for square dancin' to his entrance music before squarin' off against foes like King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. He brought fun to the ring. Decked out in classic Southern overalls and a hat that looks like an alligator puked it up in Florida, Hillbilly Jim delivered nothing, but good vibes. He could probably convince Marilyn Manson to giggle at a knock-knock joke. So, the next time you're feeling like an emo kid who forgot his Prozac take a look at these memes and know that Hillbilly Jim loves you.