Credit: MeganRossee.com; Tim Whitby/Getty Images
It wasn't enough for Michael Phelps to win 22 Olympic medals (18 of them gold) and to cement himself as the greatest Olympian of all time, and one of the greatest athletes of all time, at age 27. No, just to make sure that every man on Earth wanted to both respect the s*** out of him and punch the s*** out of him, he has gone and nabbed a blonde model by the name of Megan Rossee.
And she's not one of those purposely ugly or gaunt models, or one of those budget "Internet models." Oh no. She is a legit super-hot model. Anyway, you know the drill -- drool over the pictures, grow a boner and an enormous grudge, yada yada.
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You probably know that fox right there is US hurdler Lolo Jones. And you probably know that she's a 29-year-old virgin. While the virgin thing is an anomaly, she's no outlier in the world of Olympic hurdling in terms of looks. This edition of Gold Medal Babes is stacked, and quite frankly, we're not sure America's sweetheart can come out on top. And that's even without competition from the bubbly, enticing Michelle Jenneke. She's didn't make this year's Olympic cut, so you'll have to wait til 2016 to cast your vote for her. For now, make due with the seven other hurdling hotties below.
Denisa Rosolova - Czech Republic
All photos credit: Complex
Wayne Gretzky is the greatest hockey player of all time, but his daughter Paulina is the true Great One. The 23-year-old has become a Twitter hero because of her penchant for posting bikini photos, and now she has officially been called up to the big leagues. No more hazy Instagrammed pics, no more iPhone photos snapped in the mirror (well, let's hope she still does all that). What we're saying is, the legendary offspring has done a spread in Complex and it is everything we hoped it would be. Inside-boob? Check. Cherries? Check. The number 99 on the front of her underwear in some weird Oedipal tribute to her father? Check.
Girl's got daddy issues, money and supreme confidence. Count us in! Check out more pics below.
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Olympians spend their entire young lives toiling away in some gym or pool while their friends are all watching cartoons, and then they continue training in some sports bunker while their friends have graduated to dry humping with other kids their age. Olympic athletes are committed. Nobody is questioning this. But apparently some of them still feel the need to prove just how committed they are, so they get tattoos of the Olympic rings. Swimmers seem to be the most likely to get a permanent reminder of their sport-centric existence, which isn't surprising because Olympic swimmers are f***ing insane. So check out the ink on the 15 athletes we've listed below.
Alain Bernard - Swimming, France
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Credit: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images
OK guys, if spandex leaves too much to the imagination, then this is the category you've been waiting for: it's time to vote on the hottest beach volleyball ladies of the 2012 Olympics. They're so leggy, and so fit, and their bikini bottoms are so, so small. We've never understood how it is advantageous to have nothing but two tiny pieces of fabric on. Wouldn't it just allow more sand to get into places where you definitely DON'T want sand, which would distract you and hinder your performance? But, who are we to argue? It's a longstanding tradition, and traditions are increasingly rare in this short-term memory, ADHD age, so they should be celebrated. Join us in celebrating (and voting) below.
Zara Dampney - Great Britain
Credit: Daniel Garcia/AFP; British GQ
If, for any reason, you were going to miss tonight's new episode of "Guy Code," this post will make you reconsider. Melanie Iglesias strips down for a poolside photo shoot and, trust us, it'll be worth missing your Tuesday night poker game to watch. Now that we've sufficiently whetted your appetites for it, we're going to do you a solid and give you a preview of what you'll see from Melanie's shoot. Check out the flipbook of pictures here and get excited, because there's more where that came from on tonight's "Guy Code," premiering at 11/10c on MTV2.
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28 Sexy Photos Of 'Guy Code''s Melanie Iglesias
Melanie Iglesias And Lisa Ramos' Cheeseburger Challenge
Melanie Iglesias And April Rose's First Date [Video]
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Do your research, know what to pack, have a budget and have a plan -- which may just be to hook up with lots of Italian girls. That's the advice we gleaned from combining Alesha Renee's and Jon Gabrus' words of wisdom on last week's "Guy Code." April Rose offered a more cynical take, advising that there's all sorts different rules to observe to avoid looking like a big American douchebag and embarrassing our country. But if you are a douchebag...
The USA Basketball Team is overseas in Europe right now preparing to bring home gold medals again, and judging from the Instagram photos they've posted on Twitter, it appears they're Olympic-caliber tourists. James Harden Segway tour through Barcelona? Check.
You're having a bad day. The world could be a cruel place and we've all felt trapped in the swimming pool of tar called life. Hang in there, Champ! We found just the guy to help you through this mess. He's a warm fella with a big smile and an even bigger heart. He's former WWE Superstar Hillbilly Jim!
The good ol' country boy was known for square dancin' to his entrance music before squarin' off against foes like King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd. He brought fun to the ring. Decked out in classic Southern overalls and a hat that looks like an alligator puked it up in Florida, Hillbilly Jim delivered nothing, but good vibes. He could probably convince Marilyn Manson to giggle at a knock-knock joke. So, the next time you're feeling like an emo kid who forgot his Prozac take a look at these memes and know that Hillbilly Jim loves you.
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Life is about pleasure: sometimes it's a beautiful woman, sometimes it's a fast car and sometimes it's a mouthful of red meat. In America, there is no better meal than shoving a burger right into your face. "Guy Code"'s Lisa Ramos and Melanie Igleasias know this truth. Pair it up with a side of fries and your brain will start lighting up like a pinball machine in a pitch black cave. We decided to jump around the Internet in search of the most tantalizing burgers. We didn't just find the best pictures of meat. We found pictures of burgers that invited us to dive right in as we salivated over their curves. In other words, we found...Burger Porn.
Photo via Chilis.com
This is one hot, sizzling mouthful of beef. Sink your teeth into this hottie and savor the flavor of this meaty bitch. There's a lot of spice in this one, so you may wanna slow down once you break a sweat. Nice and easy...
Photo: Getty Images
Anguish knows no nationality. Humor, maybe. Despite the fact that probably all of the Olympic weightlifters in this gallery could kick our asses, we're going to laugh at their pained expressions anyway. But there's an important lesson here too: It appears that by rule, guys who want be power lifters must have a crazy weightlifting expression. For most, it's the agony of lifting an impossible amount of the weight in the air. Sometimes, lifters smirk. That's not funny, though. Now laugh at all the goofy faces.