Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Basketball season is almost over and baseball doesn't have cheerleaders. NCAA football, starting August 29th, seems impossibly far away. To keep you occupied in the meantime, Busted Coverage has compiled a comprehensive gallery of ladies in jerseys, team-branded underwear and a couple just wearing pendants. (That does it, we're going back to college. Right after we click through the slideshow one more time...)
In this age of texting and tweeting, grammar has fallen by the wayside. We've collectively accepted an "if it feels good, do it" approach to written communication. Correcting others' mistakes just makes you look like a snob.
Pay attention in English class, though, because improper punctuation might convey the exact wrong meaning. For example, unnecessary quotation marks look like ironic quotation marks -- which are great for mocking somebody, but not so great when you're advertising "FRESH" bread. Click through for good reminders of why literacy matters...
Thanks to the government, tobacco companies can't advertise like they used to. That's good for everyone, seeing as how smoking is the leading cause of Slow Gross Expensive Death. And it's especially good for the ladies, because Big Tobacco managed to sell death while objectifying them and crushing their egos with insecurity. (Now only Big Alcohol gets to do that, but at least beer kills us slower.)
Those old, sexist ads are still good for a laugh though, so here are our favorites...
Summer is the season of state fairs, which are infamous for deep-fried monstrosities. Surely, eating one of these bad boys will be the greatest five seconds of your life…right before your heart explodes. Here are some foods you've gotta try, even if it kills ya.
There's nothing crazy about french fries, hot dogs or sticks, but putting them together makes for an unholy trinity of awesome. As guys we love any meal that we can eat with our hands and without a plate. Now if only someone could find a way to put a beer in there...
Your girlfriend probably reads blogs dedicated to "life hacks," ingenious shortcuts that save time and money by repurposing household objects. But most such hacks are geared for, like, gardening...and you need a garden hose. Well, do you have a beer funnel? Problem solved!
Head over to the Chive for a bunch of other manly ways to streamline your existence, such as turning a crushed aluminum can into a spatula for your next BBQ. Get ready to hear yourself say, "Why didn't I think of that?" (Probably because you were busy using that beer funnel for its intended purpose.)
Oftentimes the world isn't a fair place. Bad things happen to good people, crimes go unpunished, the girl you love prefers to stay with a douche bag who treats her like garbage.... It can seem like a cold, uncaring universe out there.
Every now and then, however, there's evidence of cosmic justice. We're not getting all religious on you -- we're just saying that sometimes, jerks and morons get what's coming to them. And sometimes those comeuppances are captured in glorious photographs like the GIF above. Head over to the Chive for more reasons to treat others with kindness.
One of the great things about growing from boy to man is dropping the pretense of uber-masculinity that young guys cling to so desperately. A 14-year-old will pretend like he's not scared of anything, but a 24-year-old will admit that ants freak him the hell out. It's all about getting comfortable with yourself and not worrying about looking more macho than Randy Savage.
This transition is also defined by a man's ability to find things cute. A boy won't think a pile of puppies is adorable, but a man will say, "Awww." Here's our not-at-all comprehensive list of things that men should feel no shame about finding adorable. The shame only comes when you build Tumblrs dedicated to them. That's just weird.
We're not typically attracted to splotchy skin. And yet, there's something magical when you can see the shape of chicks' bikinis/underwear in suntan form. How does it make any sense? What explains this phenomenon?
Maybe we're overanalyzing here. Really, we should just kick back on our beach towel and admire the (semi-NSFW) scenery over at the Chive. We should also apply sunscreen evenly, because we're pretty sure that women don't find our tan lines nearly as attractive.
Yeah, our country can be over the top (as you'll see when "Ain't That America With Lil Duval" premieres July 9 on MTV2), but that's why we love it. Just like we love these ridiculously patriotic photos from our friends at the Chive. Well, George Washington riding a bald eagle with a grenade launcher is more of an illustration than a photo, but we'd like to think it's historically accurate.
Katz's Deli, a legendary joint in New York City, celebrated 125 years of shilling smoked meats and brown mustard yesterday. And is there any better way to celebrate than by hosting a Major League Eating competition? We think not. Katz's invited 10 contestants to wolf down pastrami sandwiches, and we were there to cover the action, while shielding our eyes from stray bits of flesh that might've hit us.