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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

Fifteen years ago, when we were just starting to sniff out puberty, Cindy Crawford was 29 years old and at the top of her game. The only woman who could compete with her on our bedroom walls was the great leprechaun model Kathy Ireland. Now, here we are 15 years later and we've grown from chubby, hairless, Fruit by the Foot-addicted dorks into chubby, hairy, bacon egg and cheese-addicted dweebs. Meanwhile, Cindy, as she shows in these photos from Vogue India, is just the same--still leggy, still glistening and still improbably making moles sexy.

Check out seven more photos below.

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According to many, the highlight of last night's American Music Awards was Usher and Justin Bieber hugging onstage after the young Bieb took home honors for Artist of the Year. According to us, they were wrong. Not because we don't have a sincere appreciation for Bieber -- like other famous grown men, we do. But because over the course of the three-hour show so many of the music world's finest (Katy Perry, Rihanna, Taylor Swift) were gyrating onstage, that even the young Canuck would agree his teary embrace with Usher wasn't the most memorable moment.

But these were:

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Only The Hot Parts: The Country Music Awards' 5 Sexiest Moments

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Look, the CMA Awards are three hours long. If you're not a country music fan, there's no way you could be expected to watch that. So what are you supposed to do if you're way into Carrie Underwood and totally psyched about watching her strut around in fancy dresses for 180 minutes but you just can't stomach the overalls? You're supposed to come to us. We watched the CMA Awards and we distilled it down to its five hottest parts. Now, don't expect "Girls Gone Wild" here; these were the CMA Awards after all. There may have been a lot of beautiful women there, but unfortunately, they were also respectable.

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Only The Hot Parts: The Top 5 Hottest Scenes From 'One Tree Hill'

Only The Hot Parts: 'Dancing With The Stars' Is A 70s Porn In Disguise

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For Nicki Minaj, it's Halloween all year long. In her relatively young musical career, we estimate that the pint-sized hip-hop princess has worn about 3,127 outfits and wigs. Some of them look better than others, and in most of them she reveals the better part of her cleavage (well it's all the "better" part) and most of her backside.

Harajuku Barbie's debut album, "Pink Friday," drops Nov. 23, and in the meantime we implore you to check out photos on the next page where Minaj does her best Cleopatra, her best dominatrix and a few other things that could accurately be described as "the best."

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It's rare that Jennifer Aniston is the second hottest woman in a movie, let alone a romantic comedy, but that's partly because she's never appeared alongside Brooklyn Decker before. (By the way, we're pretty sure Jennifer Aniston lives on the set of a romantic comedy and every year the cast and crew just rotates around her.) Decker makes her big screen debut as Adam Sandler's love interest in "Just Go With It," where you should expect some goofiness, true love and a healthy amount of Brooklyn Decker's breasts. From the trailer alone, we're not exactly sure what kind of acting chops Brooklyn's got, but with a body like hers we're willing to pay $11.75 to find out. Well done, casting director! Check out the hottest moments of the trailer below.

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"One Tree Hill" has been on the air for eight seasons now (really) despite a mediocre script and average acting. Why might that be? Here's a novel theory: The producers threw a bunch of smokin' hot women into one show, dressed them in a minimal amount of clothing and started counting the dollars. It's that simple, people. The current cast features Sophia Bush, Bethany Joy Galeotti and Lisa Goldstein, all of whom look ridiculously hot in the this week's episode. But we'd never expect you to actually watch "One Tree Hill," so we've reduced the show down to its five hottest parts. Think of it as David Letterman's top 10 list with half as many things and four times as many ladies. Roll the tape, Johnny.

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Only The Hot Parts: 'Dancing With The Stars' Is A 70s Porn In Disguise

Only The Hot Parts: 'Gossip Girl' Includes Way More Sexual Innuendo Than Actual Gossip

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At the ripe age of 29, Jessica Alba wants to settle down and choose movies with less slapstick and more depth. How does a gorgeous quasi-action star do that? Well, if December's Elle Magazine is any indication, she has a one-woman pool party in summer clothes during the winter. The good news is, you're all invited to see the photos. The better news is that despite Jessica's desire to take on some more serious roles, she's still down to show off her million dollar legs and a lot of chest. See Jessica in all her splendor below.

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Although nerds might still be recovering from the news that Emma Watson chopped off her hair, we happen to think she looks amazing. And she's looking particularly smokin' in December's Marie Claire. But really, Emma could wear a steaming pile of pigeon droppings and she would still look amazing. (Sorry for the visual, but it's true!) Filming for the final "Harry Potter" installment has wrapped and now Emma is just a normal 20-year-old student at Brown University who happens to be a talented actress. She also happens to not need pants, as she shows in the above picture of four pantsless Emmas (drool). Emma, we salute you and your decision to follow many of your fellow Hollywood hotties and forgo pants. Thank you, Emma. Thank you.

HERE ARE A BUNCH OF PHOTOS OF POP STARS NOT WEARING PANTS!

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Just when we thought Scarlett Johansson couldn't get hotter, we were wrong (that happens a lot). Maybe she's drinking some crazy hotness-flavored Vitamin Water, which is stupid, sure, but better than no theory at all. In a new photo shoot for a fashion label called Mango (which reminds us of this person), Scarlett is painfully gorgeous. There's no other way to describe it. It actually causes pain. Also, in each shot she's showing a different part of her body, so it's like a mental puzzle to see her mostly naked all at once. Go ahead and try it.

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Leighton Meester plays a stuffy, stuck-up New York City gal named Blair Waldorf on "Gossip Girl." We don't have a clue what she's like in real life, but we do know that the 24-year-old actress/singer looks pretty fantastic in this photo shoot for Marie Claire UK's December issue. Not only does Leighton reveal some fine ink on her left shoulder, but she challenges Rihanna for the title of sexiest seductive stare. If you're into ladies wearing red lipstick, you're going to be into the next page.

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