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Hungover Links: Michelle Jenneke's Butt, LeBron's Harlem Shake & More

Posted 3/1/13 10:00 am EST by in News

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Credit: "let me in!" via The Whatever

While you were drinking...

  • YouPorn has offered Miss Teen Delaware USA $250,000 to be their spokesperson.
  • So this exists: A trailer for a 83-minute movie titled "A Talking Cat!?!".
  • The Iranian government has commissioned snipers to take out 11-pound rats that have taken over the capital. Seriously.
  • Here's an eight-minute, Halle Berry-free James Bond tribute that the Oscars should have televised instead.

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Hungover Links: "Super Troopers 2" & More

Posted 2/28/13 10:00 am EST by in News

bk
Credit: cameronr

While you were drinking last night...

  • A layman's guide to "League of Legends", the world's most popular video game with 32 million monthly players and counting.
  • Intoxicating 29-year old Kristi Wright lugged her DDs from Estonia to Washington state, but her photos are right here.
  • "Parks and Recreation's" wedding album is the best use of Pinterest yet.

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Today's Dumbass: One Direction Fan Nails Harry Styles In Nuts

Posted 2/27/13 5:14 pm EST by in Funny, News, Today's Dumbass


On one hand, it's funny to watch Harry Styles take a shoe to the crotch. Not because he's in One Direction, just because nut-shots are funny. On the other hand, what kind of dumbass pays for an expensive concert ticket, inside the range of projectiles making it onstage, and spends all that time in line just to throw a shoe at the object of her affection?

Jade Anderson is her name, according to MTV News, and she's a local East Kilbride teenager. "I just wanted him to touch something belonging to me. I didn't mean to hit him where I hit him. I'm really embarrassed," she told a local radio show, according to The Daily Record.

Ladies, there are much better ways to show you like a guy than chucking your kicks at him. Throw your bra, your underwear, your phone number, hell, even your shirt, pants and wallet, but not shoes. Those hurt.

Security almost escorted out of Ms. Anderson out of the show, as right they should've, but the band stepped in. They let her stay for the remainder of the show, and even gave her shoes back. That's nice of them...kinda weak, but nice.

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Are We In Danger Of Losing Internet Pornography?

Posted 2/27/13 3:30 pm EST by in Ladies, News

Jenna Jameson
Credit: Getty Images

Between mobile devices and high speed Internet, we are living in the Golden Age of Internet pornography. But, what if it all came to a premature end? As unfortunate as it sounds, governments around the world are enacting legislation that could stop Internet pornography and start a global spank bank famine.

Iceland Examines Porn Ban

Pornography has always been illegal in Iceland, however, it has been undefined and seemingly unenforced...UNTIL NOW. Cold-hearted government insiders are looking to limit or ban Internet pornography and have already succeeded in banning strip clubs. Without stripping and porn, girls will have to come up with new creative ways to punish their step-dads.
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True Gangsters Have Lions And Bears As Pets

Posted 2/27/13 1:30 pm EST by in Funny, News

gansta-lion

They say pet owners end up resembling their pets, so if you're a gangster, you want a pet that looks like a king who rules his domain. You need a lion. Or a bear. Or if you're really badass, four lions and two bears. That's what Nutzu the Pawnbroker owned before he was arrested this week in Romania for being the most cartoonishly evil (but still pretty badass) gangster of all time. OK, so the rumor is that he was feeding his enemies to the lions, but maybe he was spreading that rumor to make those enemies think twice about storming the compound.

Nutzu, aka Ion Balint, can even make less scary animals seem tough. Apparently, the last time he was released from prison, he rode home on a black stallion. Imagine being a Romanian dude, out mowing your lawn one day when some scowling gangster comes riding past you on a black horse, probably followed by hundreds of woman trying to name their first kid after him. You would never leave your house ever again.
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Hungover Links: Yogurt For Dudes & More

Posted 2/27/13 10:00 am EST by in News

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Credit: 22 Words

While you were drinking last night...

  • Rocky Balboa and the Raging Bull get bloodied on the set of "Grudge Match."
  • Hey, you know that professor who got busted for watching porn in class? Silver lining: PornHub has comped him a premium membership.

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Hungover Links: The Dong Bone & More

Posted 2/26/13 10:01 am EST by in News

99575104
Credit: Roll Call/Getty Images

While you were drinking last night...

  • R.I.P., C. Everett Koop, surgeon general of the United States who served under two presidential administrations and tried his best to explain the dong bone to Ali G.
  • Scotch vs. rye: Designer Sean Seidell explains the differences between the two browns in one handy infographic.

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Should Wiz Khalifa Let His Son Sebastian Play Football?

Posted 2/25/13 11:00 am EST by in Hip-hop, News, Sports

The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red Carpet
Credit: Christopher Pink/Getty Images

It's official: Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose have created a child. Sebastian "The Bash" Taylor Thomaz was born on Thursday, (hopefully that nickname had nothing to do with the delivery). Khalifa's a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan and "Bash" is the perfect football nickname. But with all the controversy surrounding football-related brain injuries, should Wiz and Amber let their son play? Whichever they choose, they'll be setting an example for others, just as Adrian Peterson did when he said he would never let his son play. Let's look at the pros and cons of letting Wiz's kid, or anyone's kid, toss the ol' pigskin.

Pro: Learning Discipline

Having two famous parents may make Lil Sebastian jaded, but a screaming football coach and three hours of grueling practice every day after school will set him straight.

Con: It Might Be The Wrong Kind Of Discipline

That screaming coach might be a nut-job who treats your kid's Pop Warner team like it's the NFL and screams at your kid for doing his homework instead of doing 500 pull-ups.
Read More...

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Hungover Links: Gary Busey's Grooming Tips & More

Posted 2/25/13 10:00 am EST by in News

gary
Credit: The Busey Zone

While you were drinking last night...

  • Gary Busey's continues to dole out the wisdom in his YouTube series with the latest installment's focus on children's grooming.
  • Once upon a time, the Harlem Shake was an actual thing in Harlem. Learn about it.
  • Mark Cuban gave a smashing interview to Howard Stern last week -- 49 minutes that are well worth your time.

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Mother Of The Year Hires Strippers For Teenage Son's Party

Posted 2/22/13 11:00 am EST by in News

stripper mom
Photo via South Glens Falls Police Department

Well, this gives a whole new meaning to "My Super Sweet 16." Earlier this week, police arrested 33-year-old New York mother Judy Viger for allegedly hiring strippers to perform at her son's 16th birthday extravaganza. (They grow up so fast... one day it's a Superman-themed party; the next it's a Sigmund Freud-themed party.)

The birthday boy and his friends had a great time--you know, getting their faces straddled by ladies from company Tops In Bottoms--but a bunch of parents (specifically, NOT COOL parents) saw photos on Facebook and complained to authorities, who subsequently charged Viger with multiple counts of endangering the welfare of a child.

"As difficult as it may be for us to have to weigh in on these kinds of cases," said the local district attorney. "Certainly exposing the unsuspecting children to this sort of 'entertainment' goes beyond the pale when it comes to what is appropriate."

Now, we wouldn't want our moms handing us singles to place in a g-string. But it's pretty dubious that this qualifies as a sex offense, and here's why: The strippers weren't even naked! The service Viger allegedly bought is called a "Bikinigram," for chrissakes.

Besides, Viger going to prison for years will "endanger" her son far more than a stupid lap dance. If this district attorney wants to make an arrest whenever some 16-year-old gets blue balls, there aren't enough handcuffs in the world.

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