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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.


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Ugh, musicians. Not the manliest group of guys as a whole. They used be all about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Now you might find those same guys spending two seasons judging "American Idol." However, don't fret, there are some musicians who still carry the badass torch and follow Guy Code. In fact, we found five who were nominated in tonight's 2012 Video Music Awards (8/7c) on MTV.

1. Imagine Dragons


Though the name "Imagine Dragons" definitely causes this VMA-nominated band for Best Rock Video to lose some points on the guy scale, here's a fact that doesn't: they recorded their debut album in a Las Vegas casino. A casino! Gambling, booze, hookers--now that's a guy-friendly work environment, am I right?
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In today's "Hood State of the Union," Charlamagne tha God and Lil Duval discuss 2012 Video Music Awards nominee for Best Male Video and Best New Artist, Frank Ocean. While Duval makes a few jokes about the implications behind some of Ocean's lyrics and album title The Sweet Life now that the singer has admitted to being gay, both agree it's brave to be honest with the public and commend him for being real. No doubt Charlamagne and Duval will be cheering for Frank Ocean tonight as they attend the VMAs along with fellow "Guy Code" castmembers Melanie Iglesias and Andrew Schulz.

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You know that super slo-mo camera that they always use during sports broadcasts? What if, instead of recording hulking dudes straining to hit balls, someone used it to film exotic dancer after exotic dancer sliding down an endless stripper pole for three minutes and 43 seconds? Well, Diplo and Laserdisk Party Sex are the geniuses who have done just that for their "Set It Off" video. Quite frankly, we can't believe they beat the rap game to this idea.

As you watch these scantily clad women twirl in extreme slow motion (and watch you will, like 11 times in a row), it's clear that pole dancing is truly art -- there's a graceful elegance, it's a modern ballet, if you will. These lithe women have clearly trained for hours, making their bodies as limber and toned as possible in order to exude total grace on the pole. Perhaps now your girlfriend will understand why you admire the art and spectacle of stripping.

Of course, she'll probably counter that just because it's hard doesn't mean it should be celebrated. To which you'll probably respond, "That's what she said."

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) thinks strip clubs should get NEA funding.

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Just last week, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse schooled us on the Juggalo Code. Despite all their horrorcore lyrics and menacing clown facepaint, the Juggalo Code is all about community and positive energy, a lifestyle where anyone is welcome to join (it's no surprise their annual festival is known as The Gathering). But the FBI recently and hilariously deemed the Juggalos a gang. While Faygo-chugging clowns seem like a gang you'd see in "The Warriors," nobody in real life sees these guys as a threat. A nuisance, perhaps, but not even in the same universe as actual gangs like MS-13.

So ICP told the Village Voice that they had to do "the American thing" and sue the FBI. It's fitting when you think about it: this movement has always been about doing what you want and not what "the Man" tells you you want, and now it's actually taking on the Man. Like, the biggest Man. Juggalos are widely misunderstood and mocked, but this move has gained them a lot of sympathizers. Essentially, by trying to defuse the Juggalo movement, the FBI has only ensured that it will grow.

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Carl Williott (@cwilliott) is watching "Miracles" in support of the Juggalos.

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We know you and your girlfriend are getting ready to watch the Olympics. Both of you will be ogling some scantily-clad athletes and feeling a bit randy. No doubt it's hot as hell in your house, and things are going to get stinky. You need the right soundtrack to keep you in the bone zone. We've compiled some songs to get you started.

Katy B. "On A Mission"

If you can get down to this rhythm, you don't need any advice from us.
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We previously mentioned the August Summer Mixtape Festival in these parts because of its blast-from-the-past ambassador Kimmy Gibbler (Andrea Barber). The fest is a nostalgist's dream not just because of her, though. In addition to some other retro acts, it's got New Kids On The Block and Backstreet Boys performing together as the boy band supergroup to end all boy band supergroups, NKOTBSB.

We love the acronym-ization, but unlike your girlfriends, we wouldn't really be all too excited to see that show. So, inspired by their savvy money-grab and clever naming device, we came up with a bunch of nostalgic hip-hop group mash-ups that we actually would pay money to see. Synergy is a good thing.

BBDMX (Bell Biv DeVoe + DMX)

Biz Markie Mark (Biz Markie + Marky Mark)

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Breaking news: Chumbawamba has broken up. If you actually know who that is, congratulations; you're one of the few left. The British one-hit-wonder, famous for the song "Tubthumping" ("I get knocked down/but I get up again/you're never gonna keep me down"), announced on its website that Chumbawamba is no more. This warrants the question: which other long-forgotten '90s bands are still clinging to their 15 minutes of fame by continuing to play today? We found 10 more bands that have "stood the test of time."

1. Gin Blossoms

Gin Blossoms hasn't released an album since 2010, and its original drummer left earlier this year, but it's continuing to tour this summer.


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We don't pretend to be fashion authorities in these parts -- we leave that to our trendier pals on the other side of the building. That said, we know a fashion disaster when we see one. Like when Justin Bieber arrived in the Tokyo airport today.

When the Beebz broke out his "freestyle" a few months ago, the world momentarily stopped spinning, the oceans became still and a globe of humans tried to process what was happening. And now, he thinks he can wear a 2Pac bandana, MC Hammer pants and Kanye-circa-2004 backpack. It's like childhood Ellen went through some sort of time portal and just randomly bumped into those clothes as she flew through the wormhole to 2012. Maybe "Terminator" was wrong all this time, and you don't end up naked on the other side of the time tunnel after all?

Anyway, the Beebz isn't the first pop star to adopt hip-hop fashion to disastrous results. Below are seven others who copped rappers' styles and had no idea how ridiculous they looked.

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We can't think of a single reason why no one has invented a reality show called "When White Girls Rap." It's one of the funniest forms of entertainment, and there's no shortage of white girls who pretend they can spit. Just play "Get Low" in a club and watch the girls transform into Lil Kim wannabees. Because white girls rapping is so hilarious, it makes sense that our favorite female comedian, Tina Fey, jumped at the opportunity to get laughs by making her official rap debut. Fey is featured on Childish Gambino's song "Real Estate" on his new mixtape. She comes in at the end of the track with an amusingly bad freestyle that includes lines like "my president is black and my Prius is blue." Maybe Fey was inspired by Natalie Portman's epic rap on "Saturday Night Live," which struck fear in the hearts of haters. Fey's may not be quite as convincing, but it's definitely worth listening to.

Listen here, but beware, there's NSFW language. Tina's part comes at 4:55.

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For anyone who says Skrillex, Deadmau5, David Guetta and the like just get up on stage and push a few buttons, well, we now have proof that you're wrong thanks to "DJ" Paris Hilton. The heiress made her "DJing" debut in Brazil and showed the masses what it actually sounds like when a glorified DJ gets up on stage and literally just pushes a few buttons. Based on this video, she gave some turns of a knob here, crossed in a muddled mix there and meekly tried to coax the crowd into a frenzy.

Even dance music's detractors have to respect the sheer energy that someone like Girl Talk exudes up on that platform. But Hilton couldn't even get that part right. Compare her breezy swaying to this video. In an odd way, Hilton's example of what-not-to-do in a DJ set may be the best thing that could've happened to electronic dance music's fight for credibility.

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