Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Before you enter a serious relationship with a girl, you should pay attention to how she talks (or sings) about her exes, because history has a way of repeating itself. In the case of Taylor Swift, you'll probably wind up becoming fodder for bitter lyrics. She once even promised a boyfriend that she wouldn't write a song about him... and then backtracked:
Of course I was like, "Oh, don't worry, I won't." And then I did. Look, it's not like it was written somewhere in the fine print that I write songs about my life. If we break up, I'm going to write about it. But I'm probably also going to write about when I fell in love with you. So there's an upside.
Big, big warning flag here. So she told a guy she wasn't going to write about him, then she went ahead a did it anyway? Et tu, Brute? Even worse, Swift doesn't seem to display a tinge of remorse for stabbing this guy in the back with a tell-all breakup song. Instead, she gloats about the "upside" of falling in love with her because she'll write about it.
Win or lose, you're getting a song written about you. How lucky! Swift's attitude reeks of selfishness and comes across as completely ignorant of the feelings of the other person in the relationship.
The Grey Cup is Canada's version of the Super Bowl. It pits the top two teams in the Canadian Football League together and it generates the same sort of hype that our Big Game does. Naturally, the Halftime Show is an over-the-top production featuring a larger-than-life rock star who is supposed to bring fans and non-fans together. Notice we said "supposed to." Somebody apparently thought it'd be a great idea for Justin Bieber to be that guy. Wrong! What should've been an entertaining break in the action turned into a massacre of boos from our Canadian friends. While we're not Maple Leafs, here are the five reasons why we think our Northern friends booed Biebs:
1. Sports & Bieber Don't Mix
Guys use football as a break from their screaming daughters and ex-wives, who usually love Bieber. The pop star is a reminder of what the men there are trying to forget for three hours. Sports are a man's getaway from life's nonsense. There's also the song selection of "Boyfriend" and "Beauty and a Beat". Really? These are the songs you're playing at halftime of a football game? Imagine if at the Super Bowl we see Beyonce thump out her hits "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" and "Run the World (Girls)" just as the game leaves off at a fevered pitch of testosterone and brutality. Wait a sec. That might actually happen. Moving along... Read More...
The "Guy Code" cast is going international...at least, in spirit. MTV2 announced this morning that cast-members Andrew Schulz and Lil Duval will emcee the US broadcast of the "2012 MTV EMA." MTV's European Music Awards are held in Frankfurt, Germany's historic Festhalle on November 11th and honors musical acts who are truly global. The two dudes who usually bring you hilarious guy advice are keeping you company through the broadcast and will announce the U.S.-only EMA category winner for "U.S. Artist About to Go Global," presented by the new 5® Gum Micro Pack.
Voting for the U.S.-only category launched today at EMA.MTV2.com and will continue through Friday, November 9 at 5:59p ET with emerging artists Mac Miller, A$AP Rocky, 2 Chainz, Tyga, MGK and Big Sean vying for the MTV2 EMA award. Make sure you watch the November 11th broadcast on MTV2 at 11p ET/PT to find out if your favorite rapper won.
Anything Justin Bieber can do Lady Gaga can do too. Last week Justin Bieber puked on stage in Phoenix, Arizona during a performance of his "Out of Town Girl" on the first night of his new Believe tour. If you missed it, Biebs turned his back to the crowd, hands on his knees and let it rip. It was a pretty solid stream that was apparently infused by milk, or at least that's how Bieber played it off -- with an "Anchorman" reference (milk was a bad decision) on his Twitter account.
Only a week later, Lady Gaga also vomited on stage! She did it in Barcelona and thanks to a loyal, shirtless male dancer on stage, turned it into some kind of performance art. It looks like she might have pulled the trigger rather than succumbing to her body's mandate, and it took her a few more tries than Bieber to empty the contents of her stomach. But she didn't leave the stage (from what we read), unlike Bieber who excused himself twice to manage the issue. So who did it better? Apply your own criteria and vote. We suggest proximity of dancers, duration, form, and so on.
Unless you've been hiding under a boulder for the past couple weeks, you've heard the infectious, so-bad-it's-good song "Gangnam Style." South Korean rapper Psy is the mastermind behind the song's bizarre music video, which is the latest YouTube sensation to go viral, an honor previously awarded to Rebecca Black's "Friday" and those two little girls singing "Super Bass."
While "Gangnam Style" is fun, we thought we were already hitting our saturation point with it. Then we saw this video and we're back on board. This is the official Guy Code-approved version of "Gangnam Style." It wins over Psy's version for two reasons: more hot girls in short skirts, no weird chubby guys. Nothing flashy or fancy here--just five sexy Korean dancers in impossibly high heels and awesomely skimpy clothes--and that's perfectly cool with us. They even manage to make that awkward horse-riding move look sexy--something Britney Spears failed to do.
Ugh, musicians. Not the manliest group of guys as a whole. They used be all about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Now you might find those same guys spending two seasons judging "American Idol." However, don't fret, there are some musicians who still carry the badass torch and follow Guy Code. In fact, we found five who were nominated in tonight's 2012 Video Music Awards (8/7c) on MTV.
1. Imagine Dragons
Though the name "Imagine Dragons" definitely causes this VMA-nominated band for Best Rock Video to lose some points on the guy scale, here's a fact that doesn't: they recorded their debut album in a Las Vegas casino. A casino! Gambling, booze, hookers--now that's a guy-friendly work environment, am I right? Read More...
You know that super slo-mo camera that they always use during sports broadcasts? What if, instead of recording hulking dudes straining to hit balls, someone used it to film exotic dancer after exotic dancer sliding down an endless stripper pole for three minutes and 43 seconds? Well, Diplo and Laserdisk Party Sex are the geniuses who have done just that for their "Set It Off" video. Quite frankly, we can't believe they beat the rap game to this idea.
As you watch these scantily clad women twirl in extreme slow motion (and watch you will, like 11 times in a row), it's clear that pole dancing is truly art -- there's a graceful elegance, it's a modern ballet, if you will. These lithe women have clearly trained for hours, making their bodies as limber and toned as possible in order to exude total grace on the pole. Perhaps now your girlfriend will understand why you admire the art and spectacle of stripping.
Of course, she'll probably counter that just because it's hard doesn't mean it should be celebrated. To which you'll probably respond, "That's what she said."
Just last week, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse schooled us on the Juggalo Code. Despite all their horrorcore lyrics and menacing clown facepaint, the Juggalo Code is all about community and positive energy, a lifestyle where anyone is welcome to join (it's no surprise their annual festival is known as The Gathering). But the FBI recently and hilariously deemed the Juggalos a gang. While Faygo-chugging clowns seem like a gang you'd see in "The Warriors," nobody in real life sees these guys as a threat. A nuisance, perhaps, but not even in the same universe as actual gangs like MS-13.
So ICP told the Village Voice that they had to do "the American thing" and sue the FBI. It's fitting when you think about it: this movement has always been about doing what you want and not what "the Man" tells you you want, and now it's actually taking on the Man. Like, the biggest Man. Juggalos are widely misunderstood and mocked, but this move has gained them a lot of sympathizers. Essentially, by trying to defuse the Juggalo movement, the FBI has only ensured that it will grow.
We know you and your girlfriend are getting ready to watch the Olympics. Both of you will be ogling some scantily-clad athletes and feeling a bit randy. No doubt it's hot as hell in your house, and things are going to get stinky. You need the right soundtrack to keep you in the bone zone. We've compiled some songs to get you started.
Katy B. "On A Mission"
If you can get down to this rhythm, you don't need any advice from us. Read More...