Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Of course, the derrière has been the star of music videos for quite some time, dilating pupils since video killed the radio star. There are many historical butts that deserve recognition. Here are five booty-filled classics that we'd especially like to commemorate.
Think the festival fun is over when summer ends? Think again. On October 19th, Jack Black and Kyle Gass, the comic rockers behind Tenacious D, are throwing Festival Supreme, a music and comedy fest of epic proportions, at the Santa Monica Pier in Los Angeles. Here are five reasons you should race to grab pre-sale tickets today at 1 p.m. ET.
1. Adam Sandler's Return To Music
Adam Sandler brought us classics like "Lunch Lady" and "The Chanukah Song," so it's safe to say he's got something big planned for his return to musical comedy. We're not the only ones anticipating his musical comeback; Jack Black told USA Today, "I'm looking forward to seeing what Adam has up his sleeve. Every time he sings a song, it becomes iconic."
2. Triumph Might Poop On Something
Triumph The Insult Comic Dog can always be counted on to bring the funny and turn a regular event into a s***show. We can't wait to see what he's going do at Festival Supreme.
At this year's O Music Awards on June 19, three legends worthy of having their faces tattooed on your calf are up for the Analog Genius Award for using old technology in new ways. They are Neil Young, Beck and Jack White. (Daft Punk are also nominated, but we're not ready to elevate them to portrait-tat status.)
In addition to groundbreaking work, all three of these guys are lyrical sages. Their songs contain as many nuggets of relationship advice as lurid drug references. Today, we focus on the former. Here are enlightening pieces of relationship advice that worked for them and might work for you. (International fame, otherworldly creativity and millions of dollars probably help, too.)
After a breakup, don't be a baby. -- Neil Young
From "When Your Lonely Heart Breaks":
When your lonely heart breaks
Don't sit counting your mistakes
Don't be waiting
for love to come back
Don't be wastin' time
Slapping a woman's ass without her permission is never OK. Slapping Beyonce's ass without her permission is both not OK and really dumb. As some moron in Copenhagen (or is it GROPEnhagen?) learned this weekend, it's a one-way ticket to a public shaming and disdain from all the women on the Internet.
It's also a clear violation of concert code -- those unwritten rules all people should abide by when attending a live music performance. Here are some others.
1. Throwing things at the artist
With the exception of underwear, objects should never be thrown at an artist performing on a stage. You have to be especially stupid to throw a wallet (now you've got to cancel your credit cards and get a new driver's license, dummy) as a fan did at a Kid Cudi show. That moron's punishment? A punch in the face from Mr. Cudi himself.
The Hangout Music Festival won the weekend and became our new favorite warm weather event. In a genius move, it combines two of the greatest things on earth, live music and sexy ladies in bikinis. How did this revelation not come to music festival promoters earlier? All outdoor events from now on should be hosted on beachfront property: renaissance fairs, hotdog eating contests, book fairs, etc. Each would be improved by the presence of women in bikinis. Below are photos of our favorite sexy ladies enjoying the music and sun.
Everybody knows that ladies love guys who can play an instrument--especially if it's a guitar--but for every rock star swimming in groupies, there's a bassoon player sitting in the corner, playing "Magic The Gathering." Here are some instruments to avoid, unless you're getting tired of all that sex you've been having.
It'll be a party for sure, but if you can't make it down to the beach, don't worry: MTV is joining forces with VH1 and CMT to stream all of the best moments from Hangout 2013 on our official Hangout Hub.
All this sounds great, but we haven't gotten to the best news yet. The very sexy Katherine Webb will be one of MTV's correspondents at the festival. The girlfriend of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron, Webb is famous for nearly causing football commentator Brent Musberger to pass out on live TV when cameras found her in the crowd at this year's BCS National Championship Game. She's parlayed that 15 seconds of fame into national modeling work, a spot on the ABC reality show "Splash" and now working a gig with us!
We don't know much about Dutch dance and electro house music, but after watching this video, we're going start studying up. THUMP, the new electronic music and culture channel from VICE, has just released a new video of Melanie Iglesias seduced by a raver's glowing fingers as the Dutch electro house banger "Buzzcut" from the DJ duo Bingo Players plays in the background. There really aren't words for it, other than an open-mouthed, "Wow."
If you're a multi-platinum selling rapper, you probably don't have much trouble getting laid. But for guys who aren't musical superstars, a six-string might be more helpful than a mic.
At least, that's according to new research from the University of Southern Brittany in France. Behavioral scientists had a 20-year-old dude ask 300 college-aged girls for their numbers. (Not the worst job in the world.) A third of the time he carried a guitar case, a third of the time he carried a gym bag and a third of the time he carried nothing.
With the ax, he got 31% of their digits. With nothing, he got 14%. And with the gym bag, he got 9%. Which confirms previous Israeli research on the subject, and raises a question: Why do girls despise gym bags so much?
It's not exactly shocking that ladies love men with musical talent, except that talent apparently isn't even necessary. Hell, a guitar isn't even necessary...all you need is a guitar case. If we'd known it was this easy, we would've never paid for lessons.
So you want to play music and even do some home producing, huh? Are you sure? You know that making music yields no money for most artists, right? Are you ready for a life of poverty that might or might not lead to gigs at dingy bars? Really?
Well, you're still here, so we'll give you some pointers to get you started. Forget about "Big Pimpin'" yacht parties and wearing clothes you laughed at when you were broke; you have to get your skills down before thinking about anything close to the big time.
1. Spend a little dough on equipment
As you'll quickly realize, music's not a cheap hobby, from buying equipment to going all-in with a DAW. Spend time researching items you'll need, and try them out at a music shop before you commit. A combination of local Guitar Centers, Sam Ashes and mom-and-pop shops probably have what you need on display.
Online customer reviews and other secondhand accounts are helpful, but if you don't feel comfortable with whatever you're using, you're only playing yourself.