Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Your girlfriend loves watching the Academy Awards...your gay friends love watching the Academy Awards...but you'd rather watch the action movies that hardly ever get nominated, right?
Actually, dude, the Oscars can be pretty fun. Ignore the inane red carpet interviews and tedious fawning over designer dresses. Here are some legit reasons for tuning in to this year's ceremony.
1. It'll Make Your Girlfriend Happy
Over the last few months, she's had to watch the NFL playoffs, the NBA All-Star Game and a bunch of "Pawn Stars" episodes. Turnabout is surely fair play. Open some wine and tell her she's prettier than any of the nominated actresses. You'll soon be making your own acceptance speech in the bedroom.
2. Seth MacFarlane Is Hosting
His comedic stylings haven't changed one bit over the years, and neither has your childish sense of humor.
Whether as The Man with No Name or Harry Callahan, Clint Eastwood has exemplified a version of Guy Code that would be hard for most guys to live by today. Doling out vigilante justice without getting killed or thrown in jail isn't easy to do in real life. Still, there are lessons to be learned from watching Eastwood's movies. The characters he portrays are no strangers to saloons or dive bars. They exhibit barroom etiquette that can still be applied today, minus the pistols and murder.
Offer Your Bar-fight Opponent A Free Pass
"Outlaw Josey Wales"
Even if you're not sure you can take the guy in a fight, offer to let him walk first. It makes you look really confident and may just scare him away. If he stays, anything you do to him is perfectly fair game. Even the ladies will say, "He tried to warm him." And if you lose the fight, well, then it doesn't matter anyway.
For more on 'Bar Etiquette,' watch the new "Guy Code" on Tuesday at 11p/1oc on MTV2 Read More...
Back in the day, if stoners wanted to watch a movie, they had to drive to Blockbuster at 10 miles per hour. Now, they can just boot up Netflix. It's easier for them and safer for everybody else.
But with so many films and TV series to choose from, it can be overwhelming. Good thing there's the "Suggestions For You" tab, which identifies stoner cinema buffs by certain archetypes...
1. The Philosopher
Typical Customer Review: "Dude, You Ever Just Think About The Universe?"
This stoner's vocabulary is limited to three words: Space. Animals. Awesome. His mind gets blown contemplating his insignificance in the universe and... like... animals, man. Netflix just added "Shark Week," so it's Christmas in February. (Of course, as the "Guy Code" cast explained, pot doesn't actually make you a philosopher.)
2. The Conspiracy Theorist
Typical Customer Review: "That's Just What They Want You To Believe!"
From 9/11 to JFK, this stoner annoys his friends with dubious factoids he discovered from some documentary. Warning: Might cause paranoia.
In case you've been living under a rock (or under Jabba the Hutt), Disney bought the rights to "Star Wars," and J.J. Abrams will helm a seventh film in the franchise. It's awesome news, because George Lucas wasn't exactly the best caretaker of his own work. But let's remember Lucas for the good times--long before Jar-Jar Binks--back when he taught us all we know about being dudes...
In the real world, you don't think of pastors and rabbis as violent foulmouthed antiheroes. Clergymen are supposed to be kindhearted, humble souls who preach love, charity and forgiveness. In Hollywood, however, some of 'em take no prisoners, in their own special, pious ways.
1. Jacob Fuller ("From Dusk Till Dawn")
This former preacher sent half an army of vampires to hell before sacrificing himself in the process. He steps up and does the right thing in a time of extreme crisis, even if that means breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
For more on religion, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
If Jason Statham's in a movie, chances are skulls will get crushed. Just try making a bald joke around him; dude will rip the hair off your scalp, and then rip the hair off your chest, and then rip the hair off your balls, and then just rip off your balls. In that spirit, our friends at NextMovie have compiled all of Statham's ass-kickings into one handy infographic.
Here's their scientific method:
What constitutes an 'ass-kicking'? Glad you asked. It ranges from as harmless as "incapacitating a bad guy to question him" to as devastating as "stabbing a bad guy in the neck." (Stabbings were deemed allowable because Statham is usually doing something cool with his knives, like throwing them or spinning them in his hand for no reason.)
Do guns count? Of course not.
Check out the small version below and click through for the big one...
Following in the footsteps of Tony Hawk, President Obama and Travis Pastrana, the Terminator himself (also formerly Mr. Olympia, Conan the Barbarian and governor of California) Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared on reddit Tuesday for an "IamA" question and answer session. Ahhnold added in his bio, "I killed the Predator."
He didn't stick around reddit very long, but long enough to answer a bunch of fun questions, occasionally responding in mangled purple cursive on his iPad. He declined to dish on his younger, orgy-filled days (or about "Kindergarten Cop"), but nevertheless made us want to purchase his autobiography, and more likely to see his latest movie "The Last Stand," costarring MTV's own Johnny Knoxville.
Highlights after the jump. Obviously, we implore you to read all the responses in his voice to maximize entertainment value.
We all want a talking teddy bear like in "Ted" or a chance to get sadistic on slave owners like in "Django Unchained," but movies aren't real life. The silver screen especially doesn't reflect reality when it comes to house parties. From "Risky Business" to "Can't Hardly Wait" to "House Party," party life doesn't imitate party art.
We've been to a lot of parties. Like, a lot. Never, and we mean not once, has a living room turned into a nightclub. Oh, sure, a few girls might do that stupid "Gangnam Style" lasso move, but it's a far cry from the bumping and grinding at Bogey Lowenstein’s rager in "10 Things I Hate About You," for example. (Granted, we've never been invited to a party at either Kid's or Play's house.)
Mutant biker gangs, adrenaline injections, animals under the influence and rock stars jumping off roofs... you won't see this kinda stuff at (most) house parties in real life, which is why we turn to movies. After all, a fiesta worth filming can't be just a bunch of well-behaved people nursing their awful cranberry juice cocktails and maybe playing Jenga. It's gotta be ridiculous, over-the-top madness. Here are 10 of the best cinematic parties ever, all of which we wish we could magically attend.
The mafia flick "Gangster Squad" opens today, and we thought it looked awesome--well, Emma Stone looks awesome in sultry 1940s getup, anyway--but the reviews are terrible, only scoring 35% on Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe that's because of pacing problems or gratuitous violence or weak characterization...
Or maybe it's because of historical inaccuracy. Specifically, Sean Penn doesn't whatsoever resemble L.A. crime lord Mickey Cohen, who looked like this:
Photo via Wikipedia
Of course, Penn is a great actor, but perhaps the movie would feel more genuine if the guy playing Cohen actually bore a slight resemblance. The next time Hollywood depicts this story, we have a few casting suggestions...