Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
In the real world, you don't think of pastors and rabbis as violent foulmouthed antiheroes. Clergymen are supposed to be kindhearted, humble souls who preach love, charity and forgiveness. In Hollywood, however, some of 'em take no prisoners, in their own special, pious ways.
1. Jacob Fuller ("From Dusk Till Dawn")
This former preacher sent half an army of vampires to hell before sacrificing himself in the process. He steps up and does the right thing in a time of extreme crisis, even if that means breaking one of the Ten Commandments.
For more on religion, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
If Jason Statham's in a movie, chances are skulls will get crushed. Just try making a bald joke around him; dude will rip the hair off your scalp, and then rip the hair off your chest, and then rip the hair off your balls, and then just rip off your balls. In that spirit, our friends at NextMovie have compiled all of Statham's ass-kickings into one handy infographic.
Here's their scientific method:
What constitutes an 'ass-kicking'? Glad you asked. It ranges from as harmless as "incapacitating a bad guy to question him" to as devastating as "stabbing a bad guy in the neck." (Stabbings were deemed allowable because Statham is usually doing something cool with his knives, like throwing them or spinning them in his hand for no reason.)
Do guns count? Of course not.
Check out the small version below and click through for the big one...
Following in the footsteps of Tony Hawk, President Obama and Travis Pastrana, the Terminator himself (also formerly Mr. Olympia, Conan the Barbarian and governor of California) Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared on reddit Tuesday for an "IamA" question and answer session. Ahhnold added in his bio, "I killed the Predator."
He didn't stick around reddit very long, but long enough to answer a bunch of fun questions, occasionally responding in mangled purple cursive on his iPad. He declined to dish on his younger, orgy-filled days (or about "Kindergarten Cop"), but nevertheless made us want to purchase his autobiography, and more likely to see his latest movie "The Last Stand," costarring MTV's own Johnny Knoxville.
Highlights after the jump. Obviously, we implore you to read all the responses in his voice to maximize entertainment value.
We all want a talking teddy bear like in "Ted" or a chance to get sadistic on slave owners like in "Django Unchained," but movies aren't real life. The silver screen especially doesn't reflect reality when it comes to house parties. From "Risky Business" to "Can't Hardly Wait" to "House Party," party life doesn't imitate party art.
We've been to a lot of parties. Like, a lot. Never, and we mean not once, has a living room turned into a nightclub. Oh, sure, a few girls might do that stupid "Gangnam Style" lasso move, but it's a far cry from the bumping and grinding at Bogey Lowenstein’s rager in "10 Things I Hate About You," for example. (Granted, we've never been invited to a party at either Kid's or Play's house.)
Mutant biker gangs, adrenaline injections, animals under the influence and rock stars jumping off roofs... you won't see this kinda stuff at (most) house parties in real life, which is why we turn to movies. After all, a fiesta worth filming can't be just a bunch of well-behaved people nursing their awful cranberry juice cocktails and maybe playing Jenga. It's gotta be ridiculous, over-the-top madness. Here are 10 of the best cinematic parties ever, all of which we wish we could magically attend.
The mafia flick "Gangster Squad" opens today, and we thought it looked awesome--well, Emma Stone looks awesome in sultry 1940s getup, anyway--but the reviews are terrible, only scoring 35% on Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe that's because of pacing problems or gratuitous violence or weak characterization...
Or maybe it's because of historical inaccuracy. Specifically, Sean Penn doesn't whatsoever resemble L.A. crime lord Mickey Cohen, who looked like this:
Photo via Wikipedia
Of course, Penn is a great actor, but perhaps the movie would feel more genuine if the guy playing Cohen actually bore a slight resemblance. The next time Hollywood depicts this story, we have a few casting suggestions...
Nominees for the Academy Awards were announced this morning. As each category was announced we couldn't help, but slow clap our way through the entire thing. "Les Misérables"? "Amour"? No thank you. We're aware that a group of 60-year-olds with bad tans and bleached teeth sit in an office in Hollywood and choose these nominees. However, the Academy Awards don't speak for the entire movie-watching community. More specifically, the Guy Code movie-watching community. We'll pass on the artsy-fartsy, hoity-toity films that make us feel like we just got a D in high school English. Instead, we want action, laughs, explosions, blood,"Will Ferrell" and everything in between. We present to you a list of nominees that were overlooked by the Academy, but not by Guy Code. Read More...
For a couple decades, Spike Lee has criticized Quentin Tarantino for the racial epithets in his movies. And even though Tarantino's new film, "Django Unchained," is as anti-racist as it gets, Spike won't call off the beef. So "Guy Code" cast member Donnell Rawlings delivered a message via TMZ: "Relax, man... it's only a damn movie!"
Donnell, who thought "Django" was "very entertaining," doesn't mean any disrespect to Spike, but nevertheless tells him: "You don't like nobody's movies. You don't like Tyler Perry's movies, you don't like Quentin's movies--I don't even think you like your movies!" Watch the rest below:
For every awesome flick, however, there was a dud. Hollywood's batting average is getting better, but it sure ain't perfect. Our friends at Film.com suffered through the year's cinematic crap to make a mash-up of dialogue that could serve as movie reviews. As they put it, "The brutal truth of 2012's worst movies comes straight from the horses' mouths."