Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
If you ask 100 guys who their favorite superhero is, 101 will answer "Batman." Does that make mathematical sense? No, but Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight" trilogy was that badass. As Bruce Wayne, Christian Bale broke whatever laws (and bones) were necessary to stop Gotham's villains. He was the dark, gritty, prickish hero we deserved.
"So picture this happening: a summer blockbuster about a manipulative, unfeeling bastard who inspires and trains children to risk their lives on his behalf, alienates his friends at every opportunity...and goes out of his way to save the lives of vicious murderers while his sidekicks die around him. I think Christopher Nolan may have just s**t himself.
"That's not to say that most of Nolan's films weren't great (to quote Meat Loaf: Two out of three ain't bad). They were. But his prissy Batman wouldn't last a week in DC’s Gotham. He’s a mainstream Hollywood creation designed to appeal to the widest possible audience...whereas the heart and soul of Batman in the comics is exactly the opposite."
Yesterday, we brought you smokin' hot photos of April Rose at the "Grown Ups 2" premiere. Where there's smokin' hotness, there's fiery hotness. In the movie's latest trailer, you can catch a few precious moments of April playing "Hot Dance Teacher." (Have we mentioned the word "hot" yet?)
Here she is, making a school dance recital uncomfortable for all the dudes in attendance. Watch the clip below, and then check out her full performance in theaters now:
With the upcoming release of "Grown-Ups 2," the Oscar community is abuzz to see just how many golden statues it can give Shaq for his role as "Officer Fluzoo." The future Hall of Famer's seventh movie role has us thinking about other great film performances by NBA stars. Who is the king of the blacktop silver screen? Let's compare cinematic classics...
8. Charles Barkley
A great performance by the Round Mound (who could still fit on a movie screen -- BURN!) in "Forget Paris," along with a cameo by NBA Jam favorite Dan Majerle. Read More...
And hotness is exactly what she brought to the "Grown Ups 2" premiere party red carpet last night. Yeah, uh, we just did some "growing up" ourselves. We were gonna see "Pacific Rim" this weekend, but those robots don't look like this...
We're huge fans of both Bruce Lee and $200 top-shelf scotch. What could be better than watching "Enter The Dragon" (or the movie where he fights Chuck Norris) with a tumbler of Johnnie Walker Blue Label? Especially if your dad or some rich friend paid for it?
However, we're not sure about this new Johnnie Walker advertisement featuring a computer-animated Lee. Perhaps it's no different than the Tupac hologram, except that CGI Pac wasn't schilling for a product -- let alone a product he wouldn't even use;Lee refused to consume alcohol, 'cause he needed all his motor skills to kick unholy ass.
Anyway, Lee's daughter is cool with the advertisement, so maybe it's no big deal. And if this ends with a Lee-Norris rematch in "The Expendables 3," we'd buy a ticket for sure.
It's unknown whether Arnold Schwarznegger will play a T-800 or human in the recently announced "Terminator 5," since he looks older than he did 30 years ago -- but that's just part of life, which the former California governor happens to know plenty about.
Sure, he's made mistakes, but he's also picked up some wisdom. For example, "Milk is for babies -- when you grow up, you have to drink beer." Head over to Guyism for more lessons from a senior citizen who'd easily crush you in a bar fight.
Movie theaters were made for couples. There's nothing more romantic than sharing popcorn and holding lightly-buttered hands in the dark while the main character gets the girl, or wins that big game, or kills those Nazis.
But if you're a guy angling for a breakup, going to the movies can absolutely be for you too! Here's a quick guide to summer films that you should probably just see with your boys, unless you want to call off your relationship.
Credit: Sony Pictures
Will and Jaden Smith have teamed up with M. Night Shyamalan to create this summer’s perfect breakup movie, because your girlfriend will probably end things herself the second you recommend seeing it.
Busted Coverage has a great interview with Mewes, in which he discusses video games, "Clerks 3," and the one thing Kevin Smith will give him s*** for. Oh yeah, and groupies:
"There is one story. This one time when I was kicking dope, I was staying at Kevin's house and I wasn't allowed to leave the house because that was the condition of me staying there.... So, Kevin went to the comic store and he met this girl there who had driven, like, hours just to meet Kevin and I.
"Anyway, Kevin winds up bringing her out to his house to meet me because she drove so far and it's cool, but while she's there, Kevin says, 'Jay kind of needs company while he's here.' So, she ends up staying. Man, she must have stayed for, like, three weeks. That was a different experience."
Technically speaking, Superman is an alien, not a "guy." But, in addition to being stronger and faster than human dudes, he's suaver. In preparation for one of this summer's biggest blockbusters, we're breaking down the lessons that guys can learn from that Kryptonian in a blue onesie.
1. Don't Reveal Who You Really Are
...at least, not to a girl that you've just started dating. We ain't saying you should lie to her -- Superman represents truth, justice and the American way, remember? -- but you don't want to scare her off with TMI right away. Be a Clark Kent up front, until you're close enough with your Lois Lane to reveal your thing for spandex and outer-underwear.
2. Always Keep a Change of Clothes Handy
Superman wears that costume underneath his suit at all times -- the dude is ready to go. Likewise, you should keep a spare shirt at your girlfriends' place, in case you ever sleep over on a work night.... Also, keep a spare shirt at the office, because coffee stains and summer perspiration are your arch-nemeses.
Your girlfriend always wants to know when you'll grow up, and now you finally have an answer: Sometime around your 43rd birthday. That's according to a new British survey of both men and women, who agreed that ladies mature emotionally in their early 30s, more than a decade before guys do.
The biggest markers of immaturity, the Daily Mail reports, are "finding...farts and burps hilarious," "eating fast food," "playing video games," "driving too fast," "driving with loud music," "playing practical jokes" and "trying to beat children at games and sport." Yeah, that's basically everything on our schedule for today.
Actually, 80% of women believe that men "never stop being childish," which has us excited for our hilarious, prank-filled geriatric years.
In the meantime, we're looking forward to "Jackass 3" airing during this Mancation Weekend on MTV...and hoping that "Jackass 4" will film ASAP while Johnny Knoxville is still a refreshingly immature 42-year-old.