Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
It was a pretty rough weekend for a few prominent athletes and a pair of popular (at one time) actors. We were debating around here which of them had the worst weekend when it occurred to us that we ought to open up the question to all of you. Consider the short-term and long-term consequences of each candidates' respective misfortune. They range from monetary penalty and league-wide scorn to possible jail time to season-ending surgery. How do you compare all of this in any sensible fashion? It's damn near impossible, but hey, we figure we'd just toss them all in the same poll and see how the chips fall. The candidates include:
2. Ryan Leaf, former number two draft pick after Peyton Manning in 1998, was arrested not once but twice this weekend (arrested the second time on Monday), for burglary and possession of drugs. It's pretty sad, actually, but nevertheless, he's here.
4. Ubaldo Jiminez, former Rockies now Indians pitcher who allegedly pegged his former teammate Troy Tulowitzki and immediately threw down as if to fight him. He's denied that it was intentional but the video suggests an entirely different story. His former head coach called him out for a bush league move.
5. Lisa Robin Kelly, former the attractive blonde and sister of Eric Foreman on "That 70s Show." She was arrested this weekend on a felony charge of corporal injury on a spouse. Feel free to speculate on what the heck happened to her.
Comedian Tom Sibley created the popular blog Subway Douchery, which makes fun of subway dimwits. Now he lives in subway-deficient Los Angeles and must mock people on the roads as Rubbernecker.
If you can't see your name in lights, you can always paint it on the side of your car! The entertainment business is notoriously difficult to break into so you have to be creative. Some people do it with a clever YouTube video, some do it with a hilarious blog on MTV Clutch, and others turn their cars into makeshift needy transformers of self promotion. Independent film has been waiting for a novelty car with zero visibility that is almost certainly not street legal.
And now, Rubbernecker's Top 3 scenarios where we'd love to see this car:
1. Funeral precession - "You know I'm really gonna miss Mike but... someone write that website down because independent film always cheers me up!"
2. Fast food drive thru after midnight - "Would you like some ketch up, sir? Also, how's the movie business treatin' ya?", the drive thru attendant then stifled a laugh.
3. Used car lot - "As you can see, the previous owner was a filmmaker..."
So it turns out nerds have some power (thanks to the nerd who invented the internet) and those nerds are staging an insurrection! First, music and history geeks got all hot and bothered after watching screeners of the season premiere of "Mad Men." Apparently the new season takes place in (minor spoiler) 1966, but the song during the closing credits, "The Look of Love", wasn't released until 1967. After critics inundated series mastermind Matthew Weiner with comments pointing out the inaccuracy, Weiner swapped in a different song for the final cut. Score one for nerds.
Bay channeled his inner Michelangelo (to be clear: NOT the artist), telling the angry fans to chillax, because he was working closely with the TMNT creator so as to prevent any legacy-sullying. Score another one for nerds.
Clutch Cuts is our morning edition of the best of the web, a diversion from work or something to get you through those hazy minutes between waking up and actually doing something productive. You'll find viral videos, sports, music, ladies, weirdness and miscellaneous nonsense.
Above: Shannon Elizabeth is back with the gang for "American Reunion," opening in April. It's the last chapter until 2023 when they'lll do it again for "American Yeah, Sure, I Could Use a Paycheck."
Still no buzzer beaters but wow, what a weekend. Congratulations to No. 15 seeds Norfolk State and Lehigh who sent No. 2 seeds Missouri and Duke home with their tails between their legs. Two more double-digit seeds are still in the hunt, both of them in the Midwest: No. 13 seed Ohio and No. 11 North Carolina State. Wondering how they'll fare this Friday? Stay tuned for our March Madness experts. More on that tomorrow. For now, click the image or click here for "Many Agonizing Moments"--a compilation of all the would-be buzzer beaters that missed.
One of the most amazing parts of the technological revolution we're living in (besides ubiquitous porn) is the fact that technology that once required an entire "entertainment system" is now DIY and can be housed on a smartphone.
With all the possibilities afforded by these advancements, where does a lot of the nerdy energy go? Fanboy video games, natch. The new "Kanye Zone" web game is just the most recent example: 8-bit video game remixes feed our insatiable demand for new ways to devour pop culture snacks. Like, YOU GET TO CONTROL ZACK MORRIS. That is almost too much awesomeness to handle. Revisiting our favorite film scenes and TV characters in some alternate "Golden Axe" universe, that is technological and cultural advancement, my friends! So in celebration, here are seven movies and TV shows that got the retro video game treatment. Read on to see how the pixelated avatars compare to the real thing. Read More...
Sometimes an animal-centric web video meets nerd porn and new viral heights are reached. This is one of those times. The A.V. Club pointed us to this remake of the wampa scene from "Empire Strikes Back," which marries the film's original audio with action figures, and starring Chubbs the pug in the crucial role of the wampa/wampug.
Yes, the ferocious Jedi trappin' beast that roamed the ice planet Hoth and terrified us as children has been reduced to the most cuddly dog with fake horns and breathing problems. Despite having some of the most memorable creatures in pop culture history, I think we can all agree that the "Star Wars" canon suffers from a lack of pugs.
So before you jock out on March Madness for the rest of the week, appeal to the dark dork side for a minute. And be sure to stick around for the end, where Chubbs totally riffs like an actor at the top of his craft to deliver a shocking twist ending.
The purpose of this exercise is not to point that for the majority of his movie career, Jonah Hill has been fat. We don't know what the actor's dealing with or if he has any desire to be slim-and-trim -- as he is in "21 Jump Street," which opens this weekend -- or if he's content with his figure. "You just gotta live your life," he told Esquire. "I'm happy with myself."
Fair enough. But we were very surprised to see how only a few months after the movie was filmed, Hill appears to have gained back a lot of the 40 pounds he shed for the film. "I was thin in high school and then I gained weight," he said. "I went to a nutritionist. I learned for the first time about what things are healthy to eat, basically." Hill then rattled off a few of his favorite spots to grub in L.A., which tells us that maybe the guy just loves to eat food and doesn't give a s*** what anyone else thinks about it. Maybe it's a body image lesson for everyone. Now take a tour through the hilarious actor's career and see how his face has expanded and narrowed and expanded and narrowed.
Since MTV headquarters is located in New York City, some of us at MTV Clutch never got a chance to do a lot of the backwoods s***. Sure, we had games like Manhunt, Stoopball and Try Not To Get Your Ass Kicked At The Block Party, but those are no match for good ol' fashioned, tobacco-spittin', deer-huntin' fun! It's no surprise most of our exposure to country living was from movies, music and television, and far be it for us to not rank it all on a scale from kind to kinda creepy to full-on creepy.
(Note: It is important to separate cowboys from rednecks, hicks and hillbillies 'cause cowboys are neither kind or creepy--they're just good ol' fashioned Americans with the soul of a robot. We did not include any horror flick characters, either, 'cause it's too obvious. You don't like it? Tell it on the mountain, boy!)