Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
As the next step in J.J. Abram's plan to become lord of the geeks, "Star Trek Into Darkness" is due to release this Friday. So before you go out to see the crew of the Starship Enterprise kick ass all over the galaxy and battle a villain played by the man with the world's most British name, Benedict Cumberbatch (really?), here are some lessons Star Trek can teach you about Guy Code.
Never Fight Your Best Friend
This one should be pretty obvious. The fight is almost always over something that pales in comparison to your friendship. Remember what happened that time Spock needed to get laid? Of course you do, no one could forget that cringe worthy fight music. Read More...
As we learned last week, many of our favorite boyhood flicks are better left in the past. Fortunately, there are plenty of films from our youth that, aside from standing the test of time, were integral to our development into the strong, successful, unflappable supermen we are today. As we enjoy the gift of manhood, we should look back and give a nod to those special movies that laid down the law and taught us Guy Code.
This always happens in movies. Someone decides it's a good idea to split up, and then everyone gets systematically murdered. Don't do it. That's how Ricky died, and all he was doing was walking to the store for some milk and scratch tickets. Also, with all due respect to Ricky and his family, he was a fool for stopping to pee on that wall. (Mini-lesson: No public urination in the midst of a potential drive-by.) Read More...
With today's release of the latest movie adaptation of "The Great Gatsby," young guys might finally pick up this 1925 literary classic, along with F. Scott Fitzgerald's other novels. No, of course they won't--that would involve actually reading something longer than a tweet--but plenty of guys will see the movie with their girlfriends. And they'll discover that Gatsby is one of the biggest breakers of Guy Code in fictional character history.
Spoilers coming, though if you didn't sleep through high school English, you would already know this stuff...
1. No pride in his roots
The larger-than-life Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie) isn't even Gatsby! He was once a penniless North Dakota boy named James Gatz. Ashamed of his humble beginnings as he tries to make a splash in New York high society, Gatz ditches his name, ignores his elderly father back home and invents a phony persona for himself.
There's nothing sadder than a guy ashamed of his roots and embarrassed by his family (unless he's a Kardashian). Though, admittedly, Gatsby is a pretty cool fake name to pick for yourself.
"Dude, I love that movie!" Ehh, are you sure about that? Because the last time you saw it, you were 11 years old. You might want to give it a good re-watch and see how your grown-up brain feels. It's a sad phenomenon, but sometimes our favorite childhood movies turn out to be way worse than we remember. Below are just a few examples of movies we grew up with that turned out to be tragically unwatchable in our bearded years.
Remember this one? "Johnny Five, is ALIVE!" Well, he'll be dead to you after watching it again. When you're a kid, this robot seems so cool and hilarious, because he says awesome stuff like, "We be jammin'!" But, in reality, Johnny Five is an unfunny, gear-grinding lemon that is undeserving of Steve Guttenberg's companionship.
Even worse, the wacky, stereotypical Indian scientist from the movie, Ben Jabituya, was actually played by Fisher Stevens--a white guy--making "Short Circuit" almost as racist as "Soul Man."
Normally, we wouldn't even expend the energy to make fun of a Michael Bay action movie starring Mark Wahlberg and The Rock. But there's something special about "Pain & Gain," the latest from the explosion-mad director--namely, that it's set in Miami. And as you likely know, that means the bikinis will be as plentiful as the car chases.
In the trailer alone, there are at least nine eye-popping moments that suggest the entire 129 minutes will have viewers popping other things. We've gathered those notable shots below in a compendium of the biggest reasons we're looking forward to this movie. Fair warning: Shirtless Tony Shalhoub is included, but that couldn't be avoided.
For most guys, the scariest part of sex with a random girl is contracting an incurable STD. But for Eddie Kaye Thomas, who plays Finch (a.k.a. "S*** Break") in the "American Pie" movies, herpes probably would've been a relief.
A couple nights ago, he met a 31-year-old woman at a diner. They went back to his place. In the morning, he asked her to leave...at which point she allegedly pulled a blade on him. (Dude, you're supposed to cook her breakfast first!)
Thomas ran out of his house and called the police, who sent a SWAT team to his Hollywood Hills home. The woman allegedly locked herself inside for more than five hours, and destroyed a bunch of property (such as Thomas's phone, guitar, lamp and dishes) before cops tear-gassed her out of there. She's now being held on $20,000 bail and facing felony vandalism charges.
The Blemish puts it best: "This chick really did not want to do the walk of shame."
It's probably too late to expand the category to include cinema's best breasts of 2012, but here are our five nominations. (Well, 10 technically.) Either way, we'll be watching on Sunday at 9 p.m. EST.
This year's nominees for the MTV Movie Awards really brought it on the action front. Comic book heroes, James Bond and a vengeful slave made for tons o' blood and ass kicking. But that came at the expense of the lovely ladies, who were harder to find in this year's best movies than in the past. That didn't stop us from looking, though.
Last year's best movies might've been built on action, but there were lots of fappy moments buried just beneath. Here are our favorites...
Jamie Foxx is one of the few entertainers to win a Grammy, a Golden Globe, a SAG Award, a BAFTA Award and the Oscar. But those trophies are like kindergarten high-achievement stickers compared to the MTV Generation Award, which he'll receive at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards.