Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Take a glance at pop culture and you'll notice that an increasing number of metropolis-annihilating villains have ladies swooning, whether it's Khan in "Star Trek: Into Darkness," Magneto in "X-Men: First Class" or Loki in "Thor: The Dark World." Women seem ready to kneel and surrender to villainy, and here's why:
1. They think villains are actually good guys deep down.
2. They see the potential in villains and want to fix them (see number one).
3. Villains aren't clingy. They don't need a woman, which makes their appeal to women that much stronger.
4. Villains don't have a city to protect, so they can take their girl on a weekend getaway. If they're not obliterating said city, they're pretty free that weekend.
He's the insufferable hothead who always starts fights and then drags you into them. We all have belligerent friends like this, but unfortunately we lack Iceman's ability to make 'em chill the f**k out.
Fans don't remember "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" as the series' proudest moment, but it does have one redeeming quality: Liev Schreiber's take on Victor Creed, Wolverine's sadistic half-brother. You'd never want to turn your back on Sabretooth, 'cause he'd stab it with those massive, razor-sharp fingernails. Which breaks Guy Code in two ways: A) utter disloyalty and B) improper grooming.
You'd think the X-Men's archenemy would be the biggest Guy Code offender on this list. However, the master of magnetism upholds the Code by looking out for his peeps. Sure, he doesn't have to be such a dick about it -- y'know, trying to kill all humans -- but at least his overzealous actions are based on principle. Plus, Michael Fassbender revenge-killing Nazis in "X-Men: First Class" is even more satisfying than "Inglourious Basterds." Read More...
In "Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa," now in theaters, Johnny Knoxville travels cross-country in costume as 86-year-old Irving Zisman, pranking whippersnappers and causing mayhem. Most grandfathers aren't as demented as Irving, of course, and your grampy is an invaluable source of Guy Code wisdom. He's been around a long time and picked up a lot of hard-learned lessons, so listen close and heed your elder. Here are the most memorable one-liners that Guy Code Bloggers and our Twitter followers heard from our pop-pops...
Do you pride yourself on not screaming at Halloween haunted houses? Any guy can impress his lady by not being fazed at the local haunted house sponsored by the Presbyterian church, but if you're a true iceman, you need to test your nerves against the best. For 23 years, Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Orlando has been perfecting the skill of terrifying visitors. Just look at that dude above! You know he needed new underwear after that.
Like Wolverine crushing on Jean Grey even though she loves Cyclops, almost all guys will develop feelings for a friend who doesn't feel the same way. There wasn't a snappy way to describe this universal phenomenon, except for "unrequited love" or "hey, look at that pathetic bastard!" And then someone, somewhere coined the phrase "Friend Zone."
We're not gonna argue with the guy who gave us Buzz Lightyear and finally got the Hulk right on-screen. That said, we're not 100% sure "Friend Zone" is gender-specific, since girls can be similarly turned down, like Peter Parker telling Mary Jane, "I will always be your friend...that's all I have to give" in the 2002 "Spider-Man" movie. (Even if that scenario is as rare as, well, a radioactive spider turning someone into a superhero.)
If you're a red-blooded, male human being, then chances are you've seen "Dumb and Dumber." Not only can you quote it line-for-line, but you may have even recruited a buddy to dress up as the Harry to your Lloyd for Halloween. (If not, you have exactly one month to make that happen.)
"Dumb and Dumber" is a true American classic, and Lloyd and Harry were the ultimate dream team -- a duo as influential to our lives as Lil Duval and Charlamagne Tha God are now. That's why we're psyched that a REAL, LEGIT sequel, "Dumb and Dumber To" (awesome title), is in the works, with Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels returning to their roles.
However, upon closer inspection of the original flick, we couldn't help but notice that Lloyd and Harry broke Guy Code almost every chance they could get. Let's break down their Code violations.
1. Riding On A Tiny Motorcycle...With Another Dude...Who Pees On The Seat
Some things are worth the money: Clothes that will get you hired, a car that will dependably get you around, and a defense attorney who will get you to "not guilty." And even if the "Guy Code" cast haven't passed the bar, they're serving as lawyers on "Guy Court," which MTV2 is airing a sneak preview of tonight at 11:30 p.m. ET/PT.
To help them hone their arguments, here are some lawyers from TV and film who could get pretty much anyone out of a legal jam.
1. Saul Goodman ("Breaking Bad")
Whoever said you shouldn't trust a lawyer with a bench ad never needed a guy who knows a guy. Saul's expansive Rolodex and flexible morals make him a priceless asset to any dude who needs to get away with some s**t.
The best movies are those you want to live inside. Whether it's shifting gears in "Fast & Furious" or running the streets with bikini babes in "Spring Breakers," we'd love to somehow transport ourselves on screen. Because every guy needs camaraderie, here are the gangs on film that would provide the most exciting life, albeit a very short one.
Since childhood, most of us have dreamed of having superpowers. Sadly, we'll never be able to fly, change the weather or shoot preternatural substances out of our bodies (excluding after the occasional late-night visit to Montezuma's Taco Shop).
Thankfully, there is one aspect of superheroes that we can emulate: Crusader couture -- which is a fancy way of saying costumes is on full display at San Diego Comic-Con. Here are some heroic fashion statements to influence your personal style.
Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures
Yeah, the fedora gets a bad rap, but if you need to deflect attention, it works like a charm. Rorschach from "Watchmen," for example, places the classy ornament atop his disturbing ink-blotted mask, which shields an even more busted birth-given face. And on Seth Rogen, a fedora even has the power to distract us from the plot of "The Green Hornet." Or was that the contact high? Read More...
We expect to see plenty of Wolverine cosplay at San Diego Comic-Con, but those guys' tinfoil claws will pale in comparison to "master swordsmith" Tony Swatton's. He used some seriously hardcore power tools (and 1,550 degrees of heat) to recreate Logan's iconic fist-knives, and then ripped apart various objects in glorious slow-mo. Yeah, they're tempered steel -- not retractable adamantium -- but we won't nitpick, 'cause it's a bad idea to criticize anyone wearing these pokers, unless you have a mutant healing factor.