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5 Lessons 'Star Trek' Can Teach You About Being A Man

Posted 5/16/13 4:00 pm EST by in Funny, Movies

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Credit: Paramount Pictures 

As the next step in J.J. Abram's plan to become lord of the geeks, "Star Trek Into Darkness" is due to release this Friday. So before you go out to see the crew of the Starship Enterprise kick ass all over the galaxy and battle a villain played by the man with the world's most British name, Benedict Cumberbatch (really?), here are some lessons Star Trek can teach you about Guy Code.

Never Fight Your Best Friend

This one should be pretty obvious. The fight is almost always over something that pales in comparison to your friendship. Remember what happened that time Spock needed to get laid? Of course you do, no one could forget that cringe worthy fight music.
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5 Movies That Taught Us Guy Code

Posted 5/16/13 1:00 pm EST by in Comedy, Funny, Movies

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 12.59.45 PMCredit: Stringer/Getty Images

As we learned last week, many of our favorite boyhood flicks are better left in the past. Fortunately, there are plenty of films from our youth that, aside from standing the test of time, were integral to our development into the strong, successful, unflappable supermen we are today. As we enjoy the gift of manhood, we should look back and give a nod to those special movies that laid down the law and taught us Guy Code.

'Boyz N The Hood'

Screen Shot 2013-05-09 at 8.07.00 AMPhoto: YouTube

Lesson: Never split up

This always happens in movies. Someone decides it's a good idea to split up, and then everyone gets systematically murdered. Don't do it. That's how Ricky died, and all he was doing was walking to the store for some milk and scratch tickets. Also, with all due respect to Ricky and his family, he was a fool for stopping to pee on that wall. (Mini-lesson: No public urination in the midst of a potential drive-by.)
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The Great Gatsby, Great Breaker Of Guy Code

Posted 5/10/13 2:00 pm EST by in Code Breakers, Movies

"The Great Gatsby" World Premiere - Inside Arrivals
Credit: D Dipasupil/Getty Images

With today's release of the latest movie adaptation of "The Great Gatsby," young guys might finally pick up this 1925 literary classic, along with F. Scott Fitzgerald's other novels. No, of course they won't--that would involve actually reading something longer than a tweet--but plenty of guys will see the movie with their girlfriends. And they'll discover that Gatsby is one of the biggest breakers of Guy Code in fictional character history.

Spoilers coming, though if you didn't sleep through high school English, you would already know this stuff...

1. No pride in his roots

The larger-than-life Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie) isn't even Gatsby! He was once a penniless North Dakota boy named James Gatz. Ashamed of his humble beginnings as he tries to make a splash in New York high society, Gatz ditches his name, ignores his elderly father back home and invents a phony persona for himself.

There's nothing sadder than a guy ashamed of his roots and embarrassed by his family (unless he's a Kardashian). Though, admittedly, Gatsby is a pretty cool fake name to pick for yourself.

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Movies You Loved As A Boy…That You'll Hate As A Man

Posted 5/6/13 12:00 pm EST by in Funny, Movies

Short Circuit Headline Pic
Photo: YouTube

"Dude, I love that movie!" Ehh, are you sure about that? Because the last time you saw it, you were 11 years old. You might want to give it a good re-watch and see how your grown-up brain feels. It's a sad phenomenon, but sometimes our favorite childhood movies turn out to be way worse than we remember. Below are just a few examples of movies we grew up with that turned out to be tragically unwatchable in our bearded years.

1. "Short Circuit"

Ben Jabituya
Photo: YouTube

Remember this one? "Johnny Five, is ALIVE!" Well, he'll be dead to you after watching it again. When you're a kid, this robot seems so cool and hilarious, because he says awesome stuff like, "We be jammin'!" But, in reality, Johnny Five is an unfunny, gear-grinding lemon that is undeserving of Steve Guttenberg's companionship.

Even worse, the wacky, stereotypical Indian scientist from the movie, Ben Jabituya, was actually played by Fisher Stevens--a white guy--making "Short Circuit" almost as racist as "Soul Man."

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9 Reasons We're Looking Forward To Seeing 'Pain & Gain'

Posted 4/26/13 2:00 pm EST by in Ladies, Movies, Photos

painandgainCredit: Robert Zuckerman/Paramount Pictures

Normally, we wouldn't even expend the energy to make fun of a Michael Bay action movie starring Mark Wahlberg and The Rock. But there's something special about "Pain & Gain," the latest from the explosion-mad director--namely, that it's set in Miami. And as you likely know, that means the bikinis will be as plentiful as the car chases.

In the trailer alone, there are at least nine eye-popping moments that suggest the entire 129 minutes will have viewers popping other things. We've gathered those notable shots below in a compendium of the biggest reasons we're looking forward to this movie. Fair warning: Shirtless Tony Shalhoub is included, but that couldn't be avoided.

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'American Pie' Actor Held At Knifepoint By One-Night Stand

Posted 4/19/13 12:00 pm EST by in Celebs, Movies

eddie kaye thomas
Credit: Getty Images

For most guys, the scariest part of sex with a random girl is contracting an incurable STD. But for Eddie Kaye Thomas, who plays Finch (a.k.a. "S*** Break") in the "American Pie" movies, herpes probably would've been a relief.

A couple nights ago, he met a 31-year-old woman at a diner. They went back to his place. In the morning, he asked her to leave...at which point she allegedly pulled a blade on him. (Dude, you're supposed to cook her breakfast first!)

Thomas ran out of his house and called the police, who sent a SWAT team to his Hollywood Hills home. The woman allegedly locked herself inside for more than five hours, and destroyed a bunch of property (such as Thomas's phone, guitar, lamp and dishes) before cops tear-gassed her out of there. She's now being held on $20,000 bail and facing felony vandalism charges.

The Blemish puts it best: "This chick really did not want to do the walk of shame."

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The Most Kickass Ass-Kicking GIFs From Movie Award Nominees

Posted 4/12/13 5:00 pm EST by in GIFs, Movies

dark-knight-risesCredit: Warner Bros. Pictures

When the 2013 MTV Movie Awards were first announced, we rejoiced that the slate of movies were "movies for dudes" (that's us quoting us). What makes the movies so dude-worthy is a fine crop of beautiful women, explosive action and most importantly, raging scenes of sheer, unadulterated ass-kicking.

Today we bring you the best ass-kicking from the MTV Movie Award nominees in GIF form, because the only thing better than watching someone get punched in the face, is watching it on a loop.

Batman elbows Bane in his weird hose face

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5 Female Suggestions For Best Shirtless Category In The 2013 Movie Awards

Posted 4/12/13 4:00 pm EST by in Celebs, Ladies, Movies

ali cobrin naked
Credit: Universal Pictures

We were pretty excited for the "Best Shirtless Performance" category at this year's MTV Movie Awards, until we realized it was only for male stars. How could Channing Tatum's or Taylor Lautner's pecs receive an honor, but no actresses's boobs?

It's probably too late to expand the category to include cinema's best breasts of 2012, but here are our five nominations. (Well, 10 technically.) Either way, we'll be watching on Sunday at 9 p.m. EST.

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The Sexiest GIFs From The 2013 Movie Award Nominees

Posted 4/11/13 1:00 pm EST by in GIFs, Ladies, Movies

pitch perfectCredit: Universal Pictures

This year's nominees for the MTV Movie Awards really brought it on the action front. Comic book heroes, James Bond and a vengeful slave made for tons o' blood and ass kicking. But that came at the expense of the lovely ladies, who were harder to find in this year's best movies than in the past. That didn't stop us from looking, though.

Last year's best movies might've been built on action, but there were lots of fappy moments buried just beneath. Here are our favorites...

From "Silver Linings Playbook"

j law siliver linings dance

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Jamie Foxx Honored With The MTV Generation Award

Posted 4/11/13 12:00 pm EST by in Celebs, Movies

jamie foxx generation award

Jamie Foxx is one of the few entertainers to win a Grammy, a Golden Globe, a SAG Award, a BAFTA Award and the Oscar. But those trophies are like kindergarten high-achievement stickers compared to the MTV Generation Award, which he'll receive at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards.

It's the highest honor at the ceremony, bestowed upon a performer who has helped define modern film. (Past recipients include Johnny Depp, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Mike Myers, Tom Cruise and Jim Carrey.) No doubt Foxx deserves it for his exceptional body of work, which includes "Any Given Sunday," "Ali," "Collateral" and "Ray," just to name a few. And let's not forget the classic "Booty Call."

Oh yeah, Foxx is nominated for Best Male Performance for "Django Unchained." You can still vote for him (or the other nominees) before watching the broadcast Sunday at 9 p.m. EST.

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