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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.


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On New Year's 2011, a bunch of famous rappers must have gotten together and agreed, "Let's go crazy with our hair this year." That they did. While artists are known for expressing themselves folically, it seems like this year really drove that point overboard. From recklessly abandoning one's locks to over-dyeing, overdrying and etching weird things into their skulls, hip-hop artists had some strange ways of saying, "Hey guys, look at me! I'm different." As we run down the list of 2k11's most confusing coifs, we can't stress the following message enough: Do NOT try these at home.

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Everyone loves knockouts, and the world of mixed martial arts is full of them: 2011 had a plethora of great knockouts that were equal parts brutal and beautiful. It's rather difficult to find the 10 best of the year, but alas, the good folks over here at MTV Clutch managed to pick our favorites and present the awesome GIFs as accompaniment so you can witness them again and again and again. It's hard to get tired of watching someone get knocked senseless. Honestly, it makes us giggle like schoolgirls, and that almost never happens (in public).

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As expected, the NFL slapped the Detroit Lions' incredibly talented but temperamental defensive lineman Ndamukong Suh with a two game suspension for stomping Packers lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith on Thanksgiving. He also pounded Dietrich-Smith's head into the ground three times before the stomp. Suh should have been penalized an additional two games for his ludicrous explanation of the incident:

I was on top of a guy being pulled down and trying to get up off the ground, which is why you see me pushing his helmet down,” Suh said.  “As I’m getting up, I’m getting pushed so I’m getting myself unbalanced. . . .  With that a lot of people are going to interpret it as or create their own storylines, . . . but I know what I did, and the man upstairs knows what I did.

Obviously the league didn't buy that, or Suh's subsequent apology on Facebook. So the Lions will be without one of their best players as they compete for a wild card spot with only five games remaining. If you missed the Thanksgiving Stomp, check it out on the next page along with 6 more GIFs of Suh's biggest hits and plays that drew penalties. They're fun to watch, but Suh's going to need some anger management to keep the yellow laundry off the field.

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Ron Swanson from "Parks and Recreation" stands above all other characters on TV. The wood working, government hating, meat eating parks director makes even the manliest man look like the girliest of girl. Maybe that's why GIFs of him are the best. His disapproving eyes, deep frown lines and serious mustache are enough to make you laugh out loud, with no dialogue at all. You want him to punch you or give you a bear hug, just to hang out with him. From a rare giggle to dancing with a tiny hat, enjoy the Best Ron Swanson GIFs Of 2011 like the man himself enjoys a steak dinner with a side of steak from Mulligan's.
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On Thanksgiving, you did some horrible things. You ate everything that you promised not to: three helpings of turkey, a mashed-potato mountain, the entire tub of pumpkin ice cream, 57 glasses of Merlot.... You even passed out in the candied yams and woke up with Verne Troyer floating around your guts.

Now your guilt has brought you here. The internet is filled with tips on how to work off the calories from Thanksgiving. But you're a man. You're not going to start speed-walking today. You're going to spend it Facebook-stalking all the girls from high school you saw at the bar on Thanksgiving Eve for the first time since high school. And when you're done loathing yourself for that, here are 10 of the most extreme ways to get rid of your holiday gut.
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Things are not looking good for the 2011-2012 NBA season. The possibility of a completely canceled season became much higher this week when the NBA Players Association disbanded and filed two antitrust lawsuits against the league after rejecting the owners' most recent proposal for a new collective bargaining agreement. Some players have already signed up to play overseas and others are in talks to follow. But that does nothing for Joe NBA fan, who will have to fill that basketball void in other ways. Refer to this flowchart, which will guide the hard-core, average and casual fan during the ongoing labor strife and, yes, in the event of a canceled season.

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If it bleeds it leads, and if it's profoundly insignificant it often leads too. Each year, silly little things undeserving of much attention blow up into nationwide stories. Last year, for example, Lady Gaga's middle finger at a Mets game received wall-to-wall coverage for days. When we wrote about the Gaga silliness and other major-minor stories last year, we wrote: "Despite their insignificance, these stories can't help but become significant. By 'significant,' we mean that the sheer magnitude of coverage forces people to pay attention, even when they know better." Join us for this year's magical mystery nonsense tour.

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Hip-hop may be in its 30s, but when it comes to beefs, rappers act like teenagers. While some actually are teens, seasoned artists also flex mad beefing skills to claim the top spots. It has been a great year for interesting rap beefs: between young and old, carryovers from years past, brand-new head-scratchers and Twitter wars. MTV Clutch has followed every last one (even trying to provoke our own) and we've come up with our five favorites from 2011. We feel confident that our list covers the gambit of this year's best beefs and gives you a good sense of who hip-hop's finest beefers will be going forward.
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Heavy metal fans enjoy the release of two delicious compilation albums this week: a b-side compilation album The Lost Children by Disturbed and As I Lay Dying's Decas, in honor of the band's 10th year together. Delicious, eh? Segue!

So this is a perfect time to roll out our Heavy Metal Food Pyramid, left for dead by the government in favor of My Plate. We created the Hip Hop Food Pyramid a few months ago, and now, heavy metal gets the treatment. Who's ready for a square meal of Eggadeth, Manowatermelon and Twissted Swisster?

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Let's get serious for a moment. We've been meaning to talk to you about your body odor...calm down, we know it's a touchy subject, but wouldn't you rather us tell you than a pretty lady? The thing is, we don't think it's just your armpits. There is something more. Tell you what, just watch our new video below and that should clear everything up. You'll be smelling like stripper money again in no time.

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