Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Have you ever dreamed about April Rose riding a bicycle? Topless? Of course, you have. What "Guy Code" fan hasn't? It's weird if this is the first time you're thinking about it.
On tonight's Season Three premiere of "Guy Code," that dream became a reality. Well, not the topless part, but really close! Thank the universe for a beauty like April R0se and that "Guy Code" now does sketch comedy...and that this is our idea of sketch comedy.
+ Watch new episodes of "Guy Code" every Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2
Ladies dig the long ball, but they also get up for pucksget hot for iceopen the five hole enjoy watching hockey. Far as WAGs go for mainstream professional sports, hockey babes are at or near the top, as you can see from this gallery of lovely celebrity fans, many of whom dated or married players. We look forward to seeing more of 'em when NHL training camps (hopefully!) open next week.
Alabama's 42-14 shellacking of Notre Dame in the BCS National Championship Game last night suggests a contest when it was actually a merciless beat down. The broadcast had everything but an entertaining football game (unless you're a Crimson fan): Bama left guard Chance Warmack's large, exposed belly (which you can follow on Twitter for updates), comical Irish tackling, a spirited shoving match between Alabama center Barrett Jones and quarterback AJ McCarron, and oh yeah, Brent Musburger drooling over the McCarron's ridiculously hot and relatively new girlfriend, Katherine Webb, who also happens to be Miss Alabama 2012. Take it away, Brent, before a national television audience of about 16 million:
"You see that lovely lady there. That's AJ McCarron's girlfriend ... Wow, I'm telling you. You quarterbacks, you get all the good looking women. Honest. What a beautiful woman." ... Whoa! So if you're a youngster in Alabama, start getting a football out and throw it around with pops."
The transcript doesn't do the ogling justice, which even ESPN had to acknowledge, writing that the announcer piled on the compliments. Musburger is right, by the way: the 23-year-old model is very, very, very, pleasing to the eye. It's just that Musburger is 50 years her senior, sounded really creepy and took it a bit too far. We're pretty sure he also stained his underwear in the process. Watch the scene, then enjoy some private, more socially acceptable Webb admiring after the jump.
The days of having to play your favorite video game for hours just to see a glimpse of a scantily clad female character are long behind us. The computing power of today's Next-Gen consoles coupled with the imagination of a creative game designer can send any man into extended play.
Whether these ladies are shredding down a mountain, battling zombies, defending Earth from being enslaved or making sure their own ass is staying alive to fight another day, the one thing they all have in common is how great they look in action.
With 2012 rushing past us, we felt like it was our duty to pay some respect to the ladies who made playing our favorite video games even that more enjoyable this year.
When she's not showing an interest in law and humanitarianism, 20-year-old Olivia Culpo dominates pageant after pageant: as Miss Rhode Island, Miss USA and now Miss Universe, she's officially been crowned the most beautiful woman in the world.
What a fantastic year for America. The red, white and blue left the London Olympics with the most gold medals (and medals overall), and now we have bragging rights for our women. Suck on that, world!
Check out pictures of Olivia and other gorgeous competitors from around the globe:
We've all woken up next to someone who looked completely different the previous night, specifically by dozens of pounds. Don't lie, fellas: Women get hotter after you have a few drinks. Sadly, though, the feeling isn't mutual--at least not in England.
According to a survey of 4,000 Brits, the vast majority of ladies (87%) don't find drunk dudes more appealing. Nearly half said binge drinking was a turnoff. Who knew?
Clearly there's a miscommunication between the sexes. British guys tended to believe they're handsomer, funnier and better in the sack when wasted--but gals said booze intake doesn't make 'em more talented at conversation or coitus.
We're calling B.S. on this survey though. It was funded by Cancer UK, a group that encourages Englishmen to give up alcohol in order to lead healthier lives. Screw that. We American bros are doing just fine with our Christmas cocktails, which make us appear both festive and sophistica--wow, look at that sexy reindeer!
Every man has a new favorite medical study. It sounds too good to be true--some horny geneticist probably just wanted to see what he could get away with--but a research team at the University of California, Berkeley claims that steady pressure reverses breast cancer. Who says science is incompatible with miracles?
Presented at San Francisco's American Society for Cell Biology, the study found that constant squeezing caused malignant cells to return to normal, if they're caught early.
"People have known for centuries that physical force can influence our bodies," said lead researcher Gautham Venugopalan, who deserves a Nobel Prize. "When we lift weights our muscles get bigger. The force of gravity is essential to keeping our bones strong. Here we show that physical force can .... guide [cancerous cells] back to a healthy growth pattern."
(The experiment was conducted in a Petri dish, not the palm of some dude's hand, but why bother our ladies with such a minor detail? We just wanna help 'em stay healthy, is all.)
Photos: Getty Images for Michael Kors, Getty Images Sport
The Tim Tebow bandwagon is about 97 pounds lighter today. According to Us Weekly, the NFL's most famous personal punt protector and his lady friend, actress Camilla Belle, have split. "It just didn't work out," a source told the tabloid.
Does this have anything to do with Jets former third-string quarterback Greg McElroy's promotion over the supposed backup? Hard to tell, although things were looking good: she had just met his parents plus the pair went to church together.
Now T2 is sort of jobless and girlfriend-less, plus the world ends tomorrow. Regarding his quasi-demotion by the Jets, he said: "All you can ask for, all you want is a chance -- a chance to go out and play the game you love and help this team win football games. That's all I wanted. I tried to make the most of every opportunity I had. I would've loved to have had more."
We're trying to figure out if he's ever had a more unpleasant stretch. The week after Florida lost at home to unranked Mississippi? The time the media tried to hook him up with Katy Perry? Annoying but not exactly a hardship there so we're going to say, from the outside looking in, this is the suckiest week Tebow's ever had.
Instead of racking your brain with deep statistical analysis, why not make your fantasy picks based off their corresponding fantasy chicks?
Some of you might already be eliminated from the fantasy playoffs. While these picks won't help you, looking at these fantasy chicks certainly will.
Johnny Manziel vs Collin Klein
While these guys aren't technically fantasy football starters yet, it's never too early to scout for your keeper league.
Collin Klein consistently put up big-time rushing and passing numbers this year, averaging 31.72 fantasy points per game. That's not a surprise, although it's shocking that he waited until his wedding day to kiss his wife, Shalin Klein, who's an irresistible 9.6. Their total score: a chart-topping 41.32.
Johnny Manziel won the Heisman trophy... and the heart of his model girlfriend, Sarah Savage, whose 9.9--when added to his 38.74 fantasy average--brings them to a mind-boggling 48.64. (I don't know whether Manziel has the size to succeed in the pros, but it's never a great sign when your girlfriend's shoulders are bigger than yours.)
User-submitted pics never get old, even when they're submitted to a fan site for a hip-hop collective that peaked in the '90s. That's all good, though. The Wu-Tang Clan's founding members still manage to crank out one bangin' solo project after another--like Ghostface Killah's new MTV ebook--and long-lived tribute blog Wu Disciples shares enough love to maintain a respectable cult Internet presence.
And by "love," we mean "lovelies," specifically on Wu Mami's Tuesday, a send-in-your-Wu-hotness photo contest. Check out our favorites, from the Brooklyn Zoo and beyond. You'll understand why.