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For months, we here at Guy Code Blog wanted to do a post titled "The Manliest Teas In The World." Only problem is, we don't know jack about tea. Yeah, we could've listed Australia's Manly Tea Company, or Jeremiah Weed's Sweet Tea Bourbon or coca tea, illegal in the U.S. but available in parts of South America. Or Earl Grey tea, 'cause Captain Picard drinks it on "Star Trek: The Next Generation."

We finally decided to admit our ignorance, and called up internationally renowned tea expert Bruce Richardson. Dude lives in Kentucky and prizes his tea just as much as his bourbon. He schooled us on manly teas, the manly history of tea and how tea might actually get you chicks. (And we're not talking 'bout Long Island Iced Tea.)

So, what's your manliest tea? The one monkeys pick off cliffs in China?

That's actually not true. You're not the first westerner to believe that myth--it's been going around for hundreds of years.

Oh man, that's even more disillusioning than porn stars without makeup. All right, what should we drink instead?

There are two teas that men have gravitated toward for a long time. Lapsang souchong, a Chinese black tea from the Wuyi mountains, known as the "black tea district" for 150, 200 years.

Not picked by monkeys, though?

No. This tea is smoked with burning pine needles. It was the favorite tea of Winston Churchill. It's a manly tea in that you'd drink it sitting in a big ol' leather chair next to a fire in the wintertime, and read a great novel. It's one of those historic teas on everybody's list--you either love it or hate it, there's no in-between.

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Tags Bruce Richardson, China, George Washington, Monkeys, tea, teas, thomas jefferson, winston churchill