Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Why wait until February 14 to show your romantic side when the most romantic time of year is already upon us? Most guys don't realize just how sexy and spicy autumn can be. Take your lady friend to any or all of these five date locations, and she'll "fall" right into your lap (sorry, had to).
1. Coffee Shop
Any Romeo knows that the quickest way to a woman's heart is with a pumpkin latte in hand. Ladies inhale those things like addicts. You might as well order up another, because you know that you want one, too. And you better not make her pay a dime – not even for the soy milk or extra pumpkin syrup pump she may request. A true gentleman will bankroll the entire date without flinching. Why not add a pumpkin scone, too?
2. Apple Orchard
Take a leisurely stroll through an apple orchard at the peak of the harvest so that you and your date can appreciate the beautiful fruits and crisp climate of the season. You'll be rewarded with a bounty of sweet treasures -- some of which may be found in a bushel, others, in the bedroom. If all goes well, you can romantically offer to bake a pie for her afterwards. Remember, the date that starts with baking ends with body quaking.
Golden Tate is the man responsible (along with the replacement refs) for one of the most improbable and controversial "Hail Mary" plays in NFL history. That being said, his greatest catch of all time may be when he hauled in mega babe Elise Pollard. She's a 9.5, and with Sidney Rice out with an ACL, I got Golden Tate going for 16.5 against the Bucs for a total of 26 points.
With teams looking to double A.J. Green, Marvin Jones has stepped up for the Bengals and fantasy owners, averaging 13.6 points per game. Look for Marvin to continue to progress against the Dolphins, as I predict he'll pull in 14.5 fantasy points. Keeping up with the Joneses gets a little bit harder when you see Marvin's smokin' hot wife, Jazmyn, whom I'll score a 9.0 for a total of 23.5.
After each new episode of "Girl Code," we're breaking down the big takeaways for guys. Ignorance is bliss, but knowing ladies' secrets to up your game is even better.
Let Her Pop Your Zits -- It's A Sign Of Deep, Gross Intimacy
You'd never want to squeeze your girlfriend's acne, but for some reason she might enjoy popping your pimples. "After your boyfriend shaves, there's always that little one," Carly Aquilino says. "GIVE ME THAT!" (Andrew Schulz has a pretty laid-back attitude about the whole thing: "If I can't reach it, you can pop it -- but if I can reach it, I want to pop it for myself.")
This activity might be more than skin-deep, though. As Jessimae Peluso explains, "If you start popping stuff on your dude, that's like intimacy -- at its grossest, but like at a real, intimate level." And Jordan Carlos can second that emotion: "I once had a girlfriend in college drain a cyst for me. When it was done, I nearly proposed to her."
If It's Her First Time, Be A Gentleman, Not A D-Bag
Like on "Star Trek," a lot of guys want to go where no man has gone before. But if you ruin a lady's first time by treating her like an object, she'll remember you that way forever. That's why Jessimae urges girls, "Lose it...to a sweet boy," even if Schulz is skeptical: "There's no right guy. ... When you lose it, you're gonna be like, this is a big disappointment, I thought sex was going to be cooler than this -- and last a lot longer."
Add to that list April Rose, who's also back in Maxim this month. She won the magazine's "Hometown Hotties" competition a few years ago, and even though she (probably) won't be appearing in similar lingerie on "Girl Code," she still has plenty of advice to share. Check out the full gallery and then tune in tonight!
Tonight, the Red Sox might clench their third World Series victory in a decade. What was considered impossible 10 years ago -- to a supernatural degree -- is almost boring now. Almost, but not quite, because there are few things prettier than the smile on a Red Sox fan girl's face, when she isn't screaming rageful obscenities at the screen.
There are times when science totally changes the way that we view our world and ourselves. And then, well, there are studies like this one. A psychology team at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln used eye-tracking technology to determine that men spend more time looking at women's breasts and hips than at their eyes.
"Until now, we didn't have evidence people were actually doing that to women's bodies," lead researcher Dr. Sarah Gervais told USA Today. "We have women's self-reports, but this is some of the first work to document that people actually engage in this."
The bigger the curves, the longer the ogling. Not exactly a shock, but the study did have one surprising finding: Women also spend more time staring at boobs and waists, possibly to gauge the Darwinian competition. "When you turn your own lens on everyday, ordinary women, we focus on those parts, too," Gervais said.
The researchers also found that men rate voluptuous women as having better personalities. Guys are a lot of things, but complicated isn't really one of them.
Our drinking buddies (and procrastination-enablers) at Cracked just released their second book, "The De-Text Book," which busts myth after myth that you probably believe. And since porn teaches guys plenty of misconceptions about sex, here's an excerpt to keep you from mistaking fantasy for reality, unless your sex life is way crazier than ours.
Depending on where you live, sex education in school can range from "Put this condom on a banana" to "There is no such thing as sex; any mention of such will result in immediate expulsion and enrollment on the sex offender registry." Meaning that for most modern teens, their first actual look at sex will come one of two ways: (1) from watching Internet porn or (2) from walking in on Mom and Dad, who didn't know school was only a half day today and took the opportunity to start humping on the sofa. The same sofa where you and your brother sit and play video games, and where you place your cookie between bites.
Obviously, the former provides much more explicit information about the actual mechanism of sex than the latter (unless you had one of those weird dads who, instead of yelling and covering up, just made cold, unblinking eye contact and kept going). This means that millions of nervous young folks are engaging in their first sexual encounter with only porn to guide their expectations. Well, we have good news and bad news...
It's always fun to know of someone before they become popular, and we think we've been alerted to the newest celebrity that will make us wish that we were famous so we could date her. Jessica Colorado will be appearing on tonight's episode of "Tosh.0" as Daniel Tosh's girlfriend. Colorado is relatively new to us, but we're sure that we'll be seeing plenty more of her in the future. Check out these other photos of her on COED and we're sure that you'll agree. Read More...
Another weekend's gone and you're struggling to keep your head up at school or work, mindlessly gazing out the window at increasingly bleak weather. That's a lot of downers, but cheer up, guys, because Melanie Iglesias just gave us a ray of YouTube sunshine. In this behind-the-scenes video from her recent shoot with photographer Nick Saglimbeni in L.A., the focus might be her heart-shaped sunglasses -- not, y'know, ice cream dripping all over her body -- but it'll still put a smile on your face if you've got a pulse:
No wonder Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Kyrie Irving gave Melanie a shout out on Twitter last week for "Woman Crush Wednesday":
It's never too difficult to find scantily clad ladies at Halloween parties, but the last thing you want to do is to approach any of them with a frightening pick-up line. Employ any of these charming openers on the masquerading woman of your dreams, and she'll fall right into your freakishly large Incredible Hulk arms.
1. "Why dress as a French Maid when you could have gone in plainclothes as 'Most Beautiful Woman at the Halloween Party'?"
2. "Yes, I purchased this Batman costume -- but the codpiece had to be custom made."
3. "Love that zombie costume. Betcha I can bring you back from the dead -- well, certain parts of you."