Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
If you've ever wondered how the vampire hunters from your favorite video games, books, movies and TV shows stack up against each other (and come on, who hasn't?), you're in luck. The fine people at Cheezburger have created an awesome infographic to help you keep tabs on 10 famous demon-killers. Comparing their strengths, weaknesses, type of weapons used and our favorite category, the time it would take to kill Edward Cullen, this graphic's got everything we never knew we wanted to know. We'd recommend keeping it handy in your back pocket, should you ever be unlucky enough to cross paths with "Underworld's" Selene. She's seduceable AND sunlight-intolerant-- total double whammy.
You're a man. And that means you like "crushing beers" with your fellow man. And it also means you're a competitive maniac willing to engage in any activity affording you the opportunity to assert your dominance over your fellow man. It follows, then, that there is nothing better than an activity that offers the chance to crush opponents and beers AT THE SAME TIME.
Turns out, some dudes make very lucrative livings doing such things. There's a whole slew of guys who get paid to play "beer sports," those casual recreational activities that are drunkenly playable. Many of these guys make more money playing bar games than you will ever see in your life. The world is unfair.
So without further ado, here are the highest-paid "athletes" from nine beer sports. But before you go all-in on your leisure-sport star back-up plan, you should know: not all beer sports are created equal. The earnings were so small for the likes of bocce ball, horseshoes and shuffleboard that we couldn't even find accurate figures.
There are many valuable informational graphics on the Internet but there's many, many more sprawled out over the web whose value ranges from meh to pure garbage. We've decided to address this issue in an infographic. Yes, an infographic about infographics.
Before we go further: We're guilty of creating some bad ones and posting some crummy graphics made by others. Now what's so terrible about these pretty pictures illustrating information? They depict things that people (even really dumb people) can very easily understand; some cite data without providing any source; and others are so muddled with random abstractions that they're more confusing than insightful. But there's no shortage of them because pseudo-intellectual mashups nonsense are 30 to 40 times more likely to be viewed and shared compared to text. The only thing you can do to stop this epidemic is quit clicking on stupid infographics. We're talking about the really, truly moronic ones. Now join us in this campaign by checking out our infographic that's supported by opinions and facts we made up.
They don't make roller derby girls like those in the above photo...and we're absolutely fine with that. Hell, we'll admit it. We like the tough, tattooed, pierced and dyed ladies that roller derby attracts and/or churns out. We've found ourselves at many a roller derby match just to see the beautiful checks, slams and punches from these ballerinas missing teeth. It's like watching choreographed Suicide Girls on skates. However, we'll be totally honest, we do not know any of the rules of roller derby. We just figured it's like professional wrestling, where the rules are more of an afterthought.
Luckily we ran into the below infographic from Andrew Barr, Mike Faille and Jonathan Rivait of the National Post. It breaks down the anatomy of a roller girl (easy now), explains the different positions, what areas are legal to hit, types of blocks and what the goals are in general. Wow, reading back over that sentence just confirms the whole sport is awesomely sexual. Read More...
This series of Wu-Tang Clan infographics exploring the rise and fall of Wu-Tang aint nuthing to f*** wit. The trilogy begins with "The Rise" in the early '90s, shifts to "The Fragmentation" and RZA's "Bobby Digital in Stereo" in 1998, and concludes with "The Decline" and Masta Killa's "No Said Date" in June 2004. Along the way, the Infodiscography shows album artwork (when the inserts still mattered) and the highest chart position achieved by each album. You can also see which Wu-Tang members or notable collaborators appear on each page. In a nutshell, it's pretty tight. Is Wu-Tang really in a decline, though? ODB is gone and sure they've aged but their talent is intact. Maybe it's just the golden years. And of course the graphic doesn't address the legendary group's influence, but its impact is immeasurable and implied.
Life in New York City ain't easy for a pimp...or anyone else, especially privileged 20-somethings who went to art school. The gritty streets of Williamsburg and Bushwick are stained with hipster blood. You can do it though. You can slog it out in your crummy apartment, sleeping two to a room until your art gallery/performance space/artisan cupcake shop takes off. You can smugly grin and bear it until someone finally discovers your Tumblr. Oh yes, you'll eventually live the dream in one of the most amazing cities on earth, but you're going to have to know how to survive. The skills you developed in art school aren't going to help you very much. Don't bring a paintbrush to a gunfight, as they say. Lucky for you, our friend GustoNYC designed this easy-to-follow infographic on the rules of survival for a hipster.
You would think with the world at our fingertips we'd be smarter than ever, right? Wrong. Over the past few years, the internet has become somewhat of a "necessity" for most of us. If you have a question about anything at all--Google has the answer. Some of us turn to Google for even the simplest of questions and sometimes the query suggestions you get in autocomplete make you wonder if there is still some sanity in the world. We usually have more than one tab open when we browse, maybe another window with some program open. We feel more productive, but this infographic from Forensic Psychology shows how the internet slows down our thinking and makes us more depressed. Kind of a bummer, right? Especially since we're a website on the internet and all. Check out more of what it does below. Read More...
Long hailed as a natural human process during which men can sit back, relax and read their favorite periodical or send text messages, pooping is also serious business. For starters, toilets waste a ton of water. But the more serious problem is untreated waste, prevalent in developing countries. Poop, or feces if you prefer, is replete with viruses that cause a variety of diseases. Think about the last time you let one go in a Porta-John that hadn't been emptied in a while. Got it? Hopefully this post hasn't found you during a lunch break.
But this infographic isn't all crappy news. Microsoft boss and human servant Bill Gates is encouraging innovators to solve the world's toilet crisis. He's offered substantial research grants for a modernized porcelain throne. Have an idea for how to poop better? Can you invent a toilet as a stand-alone unit without piped-in water, a sewer connection, or outside electricity—all for less than five cents a day? Sorry, wise guy, diapers don't count. Learn everything you need to know about poop with the following infographic.
The results for our "Guy Code" Season 1 Bracket of Wisdom are in! Melanie Iglesias's Getting Freaky has beat out The Crew's Julian McCullough with 69% of the vote (seriously, that's the real percentage). She's taking home the big prize, or trophy, or whatever we've got lying around the office. We'll give it to her to commemorate this incredible triumph. In a field rich with wisdom, the winning nugget was offered by a hot chick, which is essentially the only way useful advice effectively works on a man. So maybe this result shouldn't be terribly surprising.
What was Ms. Iglesias's winning bit of knowledge? It was this:
"You know you've gone too far when your partner just stops having sex with you."
Well put, Melanie, well put. If that sort of blabber came out of a man's mouth, all we'd hear is a droning hum while we scanned the horizon for something more interesting. Watch Guy Code on MTV2 for more words to live by (sometimes delivered by hot girls). Also, check back with Clutch later this week--we'll have an exclusive clip from the upcoming special "Guy Code Spring Break Survival Guide" airing April 10 at 11 p.m. on MTV2.