Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
"Physicality, fighting ability, financial wealth, sexual prowess, or coolness." Those, according to Wikipedia, are the topics on which rappers are most likely to brag. I'm tempted to dispute it, because this is the Internet and I'm supposed to be contrarian, but it actually seems pretty accurate. Some of rap's greatest boasts (for example, Jay-Z's "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man," and Biggie's "I got more Mack than Craig and in the bed/ Believe me sweetie, I got enough to feed the needy" ) fall into those categories. So do some of the worst and that's what we're here to talk about today.
The best bad rap boasts offer a delicious taste of irony, making the rapper look worse in his attempt to make himself look better. And after poring through hundreds of awful rap songs, we're ready to present the list of 2012's worst attempts at boasting in song. The rappers below may have more physicality, fighting ability, financial wealth, sexual prowess and coolness than I do, but at least I didn't write these lines.
2012 continued the era of the meme. With the endless stream of catch phrases and hilarity coming from the hip-hop industry, how can you not create some awesome memes? From Canibus' notebook to anything Rick Ross-related, we had a few hearty laughs at the expense of your favorite rap artists. The meme above just might be the best rap meme of the year but down below we select some of our other favorites.
User-submitted pics never get old, even when they're submitted to a fan site for a hip-hop collective that peaked in the '90s. That's all good, though. The Wu-Tang Clan's founding members still manage to crank out one bangin' solo project after another--like Ghostface Killah's new MTV ebook--and long-lived tribute blog Wu Disciples shares enough love to maintain a respectable cult Internet presence.
And by "love," we mean "lovelies," specifically on Wu Mami's Tuesday, a send-in-your-Wu-hotness photo contest. Check out our favorites, from the Brooklyn Zoo and beyond. You'll understand why.
Ghostface Killah has a new e-book, "The World According to Pretty Toney," under the guise of his philosophizing alter-ego. (You could almost say he ghostwrote it, if you love terrible puns as much as we do.) Back in the day, Ghostface filmed a series of videos in character for MTV2, which we're presenting every Tuesday and Thursday for the next five weeks.
In today's clip, Pretty Toney reflects on Wu-Tang Clan wannabes. Imitation might be the sincerest form of flattery, but imitators themselves are just "smart dumb copy cats--that's not nice." You don't get a record deal and change the rap game by mimicking what's come before. There's only one secret to success: "Be yourself, yo."
With lyrics like "I'm so gangster you can find me baking cookies at night/You out clubbing but I just made caramel delight," you can't go wrong. She had everything in the video from the cars to the bling...
To be fair, Swift warns LL and the audience to lower their expectations, but we suspect false modesty on her part. She clearly had the confidence to go through with it. And where did she get that confidence? Possibly from reading our blog, in which case, here's our mea maxima culpa to hip-hop as an art form.
Because when you're in the wrong, you take it back and eat your crow like a man. That's Guy Code.
This is "for all y'all smart dumb cats out there." In the days before "Guy Code," there was a void of real, yet hilarious advice for men. To help fill that hole, MTV2 offered up a series of short videos featuring legendary hip-hop artist Ghostface Killah as Pretty Toney giving his unique perspective on everything from sex to gambling, family to education and even how to eat on just $5 a day, better known as "The Hustler's Diet." The musings ran on MTV2 and quickly became a channel and online hit, with fans uploading the shorts on YouTube.
Pretty Toney has lived under-the-radar for a few years, but he's back now in MTV's very first interactive e-book, "The World According to Pretty Toney." Fusing together audio commentary with funny photography starring "Guy Code" cast-member Donnell Rawlings, and short-form video that previously aired on MTV2, the e-book allows readers to navigate through Pretty Toney's best advice on everything. Fans can download the e-book beginning today (MSRP $9.99) via the iTunes, Amazon and Barnes & Noble bookstores.
As a special treat for Guy Code Blog readers, we'll be running a selection of the original Pretty Toney videos every Tuesday and Thursday for the next five weeks. Enjoy the first one today, go download the e-book and if you wanna suck yo' thumb, then suck yo' thumb, yo.
The holiday season is in full swing. Everywhere we turn we are bombarded with mechanical Santas and Christmas songs on a continuous loop at stores. We are proud to kick things off with a video we found on The Strut. New York City's Power 105.1 welcomed DMX as a guest recently and invited him to sing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." He turns down the aid of a lyric sheet, then begins to growl his way through the Christmas classic. Frankly, we prefer this version to all others. WHEEEERE MY DOE'S ATTTTTT?????? WHAT! Video below:
Rappers brag all the time about how awesome their lives are--riding around in tinted-windowed Lambos with hot girls as they make it rain, guzzle Cristal and cough syrup, and do whatever else it is we imagine they do. But we've recently discovered rappers aren't that much different than us. Turns out, to become one of them, all you really have to do is go to Barcade or dig through the shelves at Gamestop and start playing some retro video games.
How do we know this secret? Last month, Spin compiled an eclectic list of 50 rap songs that sample video games from Donkey Kong to Mortal Kombat and everything in between. But since most of us were too lazy to click through the entire list, Spin whipped up an awesome six-minute video including clips from all 50 songs played over scenes from the games. Apparently, Lil Wayne, Eminem and Wiz Khalifa invent beats by sitting on their alligator-skin couches (again, we're guessing here) and going ham on some Tetris. What a life.
Check out the video below and tell us which clip you dig the most.
Are you just another guy without a look, talent or edge that sets you apart? That makes it tough to meet really hot women, right? Sorry, we feel your pain. Lucky for you, we've got the answer.
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The G-spot is difficult to reach, but once you're there, you're golden. In the case of "Hip-Hop Squares," that means a bonus question worth $1,000 cash. Naturally, Donnell Rawlings is excited, breaking out a classic "Chappelle's Show" catchphrase and his best Akon impression.
But for a quick grand, does he know the name of Jay-Z's and Beyonce's baby? You've gotta watch to find out...