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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

2012 NBA All-Star Game
Credit: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Every year, we get pumped for NBA All Star Weekend because it always has the same awesome things: slam dunk contests, three-point contests and the skills challenge. Wherever it's held, that town turns into a huge party all weekend. So of course, rappers show up (they love basketball almost as much as parties).

With all the rappers hanging out, we wish we can see them ball more. That's why we're proposing a 2-on-2 tournament where rappers pair up with NBA players. Here's how we think the ideal tournament would go, with teams hand-picked by us:

ROUND 1

LeBron James & Rick Ross Vs. Blake Griffin & The Game

Game 1 Final For Web

While it might not be fun to listen to Lebron James bust a verse, it's damn entertaining to watch Rick Ross ball. Also, they both have gigantic frickin' heads, thus the name "Team Big Head."

As for "Team Clip," Blake Griffin plays for the Los Angeles Clippers, while in each of his songs, The Game raps about 30-round clips. Though his skills on the court are lacking, he might be able to scare his opponents into losing.

Rajon Rondo & Kanye West Vs. Brook Lopez & Jay-Z

Why "Team Kardashian," you ask? If you're reading this, then you have access to the internet, so you know that Kanye West is with Kim Kardashian, and Rajan Rondo punked her ex-husband, Kris Humphries. That means Rondo and Kanye would make a great team, and although we don't know how good Kanye is, we hear he practices quite a bit.

How can you not put Jay-Z, face of the Brooklyn Nets, and Brook Lopez, player and part-namesake of the Nets, on the same team? And not call it "Team Brooklyn"?
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Sprite Slam Dunk Contest
Credit: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

The NBA definitely has the coolest all-star events of any major sport. There's the Celebrity All-Star Game, the Skills Challenge and the Dunk Contest. Any of those alone is more interesting than the NFL Pro Bowl or the MLB Home Run Derby. But just 'cause it's the best, that doesn't mean it can't be improved...

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SHAKE3
watch full video here

The Harlem Shake YouTube dance craze has its detractors who say that the amorphous movement doesn't even resemble the original, a 30-plus-year-old shoulder popping move introduced by Harlem's Al Bm in 1981. Other detractors say it's just played out.

Whatever, and false. Anything that compels a group of people to gyrate wildly shirtless (or in chicken costumes) while standing on top of furniture is pretty damn excellent, in our book. It's pretty much the greatest thing to happen to the Internet this year. So let your shoulders loose, take your pants off and stay awhile.

After you watch these four-second before/after GIFs, watch the videos for the full experience. And of course, pop open Baauer's "Harlem Shake" for full listening effect.

truffle-shuffle-harlem-shake

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Dwayne Wade and Kobe BryantCredit: Getty Images

Finger roll layups, teardrop jump shots, double clutch dunks... NBA All Stars might look smooth on the court, but their skills don't always translate to the microphone. Even some of the best ballers have had truly awkward moments in the world of hip-hop.

1. Dwayne Wade On The Tonight Show

How do you know if you have a killer hip-hop track? If Jay Leno's head is nodding along.

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As you've heard from his music and seen in the trailer for his upcoming MTV2 show, Mac Miller is all about having a good time. If we could invite just one rapper to a house party, he'd be up there in our top choices (along with Snoop and Biz Markie). So, of course, we had to ask Mac what his idea of a Good Ass Night would be.

His answer may surprise many of his fans. In his quick skyrocket to fame, Mac has developed a reputation as a guy who...let's say, knows how to party. However, he lets us know that having a good time doesn't have to involve any substances other than good friends and fun games.

Also, check out MTV Buzzworthy's "Love Lessons From Mac Miller"

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The Game's 'Good Ass Night'


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Cee Lo Green's Good-Ass Night

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Credit: Getty Images

Rappers like to boast about the size of their mansions, but they love to boast about the size of their members. From claims of uncanny sexual prowess to intentional comedic absurdity, a dong reference can always make a line zing. Here are 10 of the best and most outrageous dick references in rap, picked by the experts at Rap Genius.

10. Ying Yang Twins, "Wait (The Whisper Song)"

"You might had some, but you never had none like this/
Just wait 'til you see my dick"

Claiming to have the two best penises of all time, and expecting women to fall over at the mere sight of their members, the Ying Yang Twins fill an entire three minutes with dick boasts. It's the dirtiest song that you can hear on the radio, setting a new standard for airplay-friendly genital hyperbole.

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Once upon a time, hip-hop wasn't about overt sexual innuendos. Then along came The 2 Live Crew and changed the game. A little ditty, using an unintentionally funny scene from Stanley Kubrick's war film "Full Metal Jacket," called "Me So Horny" had conservative pissed. Their album, As Nasty As They Wanna Be, even got somebody arrested for selling it. Those little "Parental Advisory" stickers? Yeah, blame them for that.

In our first edition of Retro Rap Relapse, we go back to the video that stirred the pot of controversy in music and reflect on how awesomely bad the "Me So Horny" video truly is in hindsight.


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Something happens when you have kids (assuming you're responsible): your wild nightlife gets a little bit tamer. Even if you're a platinum-selling rapper like The Game, you might find yourself playing video games and eating Pop-Tarts at home. And when you do wind up at a club until 5 a.m., the ladies are for your homies, not for yourself. That's all right, though, 'cause you've got something better: the secret to microwaving a Pop-Tart without burning it, as The Game explains in this clip from tonight's "Guy Code" episode.

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Kevin Hart's Good Ass Night "Feels So Good"


Cee Lo Green's Good-Ass Night

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Every guy wants a Super Duper Power, whether it's the ability to teleport or shape-shift or shoot lasers out of his eyeballs. (Why is Cyclops nobody's favorite X-Man? Wolverine gets all the love.) But for A$AP Rocky, Professor Xavier has the ideal power: Being able to read women's minds.

That could be a scary, downright horrifying proposition--Mel Gibson made a whole movie about it, and look how he turned out--but the way Rocky sees it, while guys are totally open about our desires, "Women are way more confidential... they keep it discreet." And he wants to know how freaky they really are...

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Credit: MTV

On the most recent episode of "Guy Code," the crew laid down the law on house parties: Invite every female you know, hide your valuables and keep it going until either the sun rises or the cops arrive.

For a few extra tips, we sat down with 50 Cent, a guy known to throw a party or two. If you want your bash to be a massive success, not a humiliating bust, heed Fiddy's advice, which is just as applicable to a dorm room as it is to his 55,000-square-foot mansion.

1. Every Party Needs A Theme

"Always pick a theme. So, in the dead of winter I would throw a beach party. Imagine 1,500 people dressed in their bathing suits, jammin' inside while there's snow on the ground outside. A good theme takes time to come up with, but will be rewarding down the line."

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