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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.


Credit: Tony Anderson via Getty Images

We hate to ruin your pool party, but it's the dog days of summer and that means it's time to start preparations for your Back to School image revival. Sure, last year your attempts at becoming a new person may not have been wildly successful. That cream-colored, knockoff Gucci suit didn't make you look like Bieber. Those over-sized sunglasses looked your grandma's more than Kanye's. And those skinny jeans showed off your butt-crack with every long stride you took. Unfortunately, your style choices landed you below even "The Inbetweeners" on the social ladder.

Lucky for you, each new school year provides an opportunity to remake your image and we're here to help you out. Rather than go "Lil Wayne" with your fashion, let's bring things Back to Cool with these eight products.

1. UA Spine RPM Running Shoes

The new UA Spine RPM running shoes from Under Armour are the perfect place to start. They're lightweight, flexible and prove your feet can look damn good while still being comfortable. Whether you're an athlete or not, these shoes will inspire you to work out and get in shape after all the summer barbequing. The Micro G® foam encapsulated within the chassis delivers solid rebound and makes running feel easy. Plus, they're unique without being over-the-top.
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Father's Day is upon us once again. Gone are the days of giving the old man a crappy tie, new tube socks or even that thing you called an ashtray. This year, take a few minutes out of your busy day (yes, surfing the web counts as being busy) to not only look for a great gift for the man who helped give you life, but something that you can both "share." With so many options to choose from in so many price ranges, your good friends at MTV Clutch are here to help by taking the guesswork out of choosing the correct gift. Happy Father's Day.
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The good folks at Karmaloop were nice enough to send MTV Clutch a pair of Chambers by RZA. The sleek look and active noise cancellation make them a perfect fit for RZA, the man who spearheaded Wu-Tang Clan's look and sound. The Rzarector has now joined the hip-hop headphone game with fellow MC-businessmen Dr. Dre, 50 Cent and Ludacris. But considering that cash rules everything around them, the Wu-Tang cohorts will surely want to get their hands on some ear-rattling action.

Since we're such fans of Chamber by RZA, we decided to brainstorm concept headphones for each of the other nine Wu-Tang Clan members: Inspectah Deck, Cappadonna, GZA, Method Man, Ghostface Killah, Masta Killa, Raekwon, U-God and even Ol' Dirty Bastard. Obviously, these individualized 'phones are just cartoon prototypes, but if a company like Beats by Dre or Skullcandy decides to use one of our ideas, at least kick us some free pairs.
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Despite serving a very important purpose, condoms are inherently kind of funny. Admit it, you don't see a condom dispenser in a gas station bathroom and think, "Man, what a great contribution to the world's safe sex practices campaign. Way to go, scientists!"

No, you laughed  for one of three reasons. First, just the basic concept of the condom is silly. It's a rubber, tube-shaped love helmet for your penis. Second, no matter how old you are, you're never going to shed that ounce of immaturity that causes you to chuckle every time you hear or see something concerning a person's nether regions. And third, condom manufacturers, in aggressive attempts to get your attention and boost sales, add to the overall hilarity by flooding the marketplace with absurd product offerings like these 10 ridiculous rubbers.
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Anyone who grew up in the '90s is about to get a total nostalgiarection: below is a video featuring snowboarding, Bush's Gavin Rossdale and former MTV VJ Kennedy. So what could bring these three rad things together?

Bush partnered up with Signal Snowboards to make a custom board for one lucky Bush fan. Rossdale wanted the board to be rideable first, with design secondary. But here's the crazy part: he also wanted a hidden compartment in the core where you could keep a phone, keys, money or whatever else you didn't want getting smashed or jamming into your legs when you crash (which you will).

So watch Signal's step-by-step process for making the board (kind of amazing to see if you're not some kind of snowboard know-it-all) and the run testing to make sure the component is secure, as well as Kennedy unveiling the board to Rossdale.

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Very few things are more exciting than coming home from a long day of work and seeing the postal worker has left you a package. Even if you already know what's in it, there is still that momentary feeling of being a kid on your birthday. Karmaloop understand this and developed a program that does this for you every month. MONARK is an exclusive membership that delivers each of its members a monthly diplomatic pouch right to their door. Inside you'll receive a limited edition item of jewelry, clothing or accessory exclusive to MONARK members. In addition, you'll also have access to members-only sales and VIP treatment for Karmaloop.com and PLNDR.com.

The cost for a three-month membership is $119.95 per month, but Karmaloop is being kind enough to allow one lucky MTV Clutch reader the opportunity to win the service absolutely free. All you have to head over to our Facebook page, become a follower and click the Sweepstakes tab at the top. Fill out the necessary information and you'll be entered for a chance to win! It's that easy. Make sure to do so before April 25 when the contest ends.

Click For Official Rules

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Americans buy a colossal amount of crap products. The success of QVC, SkyMall, eBay and Etsy proves it. However, no matter how many golf club-shaped kegs you buy, you will always be a savvier shopper than any child (even that talking E*Trade baby). That's why toy companies are so very successful at duping them year after year. What do you expect from customers who believe in a human-sized rabbit that poops eggs and sneaks into houses in the middle of the night?

You're thinking, "Whoa there, MTV Clutch! What gives you the right to s*** on children's shopping choices?" We know because we are children of the '80s and '90s, a time period littered with incredibly flashy but ultimately crappy toys. We were duped time after time, yet never learned. The G.I. Joe hovercraft didn't hover. The Super Soaker didn't knock opponents off their feet. Superman underwear didn't make you more attractive to the ladies.

While remembering the years of toy disappointment was horrible, we worked through it and have listed nine classic toys that were really disappointing at home.  To kids, they seemed awesome. To actual functioning humans, they sucked hard. Read More...

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Credit: Hisham Bharoocha

Not everyone can score an SXSW All-Access badge to this year's festival in Austin, but thanks to your good friends at MTV Clutch and Sonos you can win an amazing speaker system. That way you can listen to all of the acts in the lineup from the comfort of your home. Plus, you won't have to wait in hour-long lines for $12 burgers and smell the blue wine from the Porta-Potties.

We're giving away a Super Limited Edition Sonos PLAY:3 Hi-Fi speaker designed by artist Hisham Bharoocha along with a Sonos Wireless Bridge valued at $500. The Limited Edition PLAY:3 is the same unit being given to select guests and VIPs at SXSW. The grand prize allows the lucky winner to unleash all the new music that you are missing at the festival to stream throughout your home.

All you have to do for a chance to win is follow MTV Clutch's Twitter and tweet: "@mtvclutch I want my limited-edition SonosPlay:3 speaker system! Rules:http://on.mtv.com/wppdbE." Do it before March 24 and you'll be entered in the giveaway.
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Credit: GameRevolution.com

You're never too old to enjoy toys. We don't mean adult toys. We're talking about toys and action figures that people of all ages tend to collect, and um, play with...or display in its original casing, like "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."  Hip-hop made the connection between rappers and toys pretty early on, and before you know it, rappers had toy deals to accompany their record deals.

It's still a recurring thing, with some mainstream rappers releasing action figures just last year. So to provide you with some more items to spend money on, here's a little trip through the history of hip-hop toys, with 16 figurines inspired by rappers. Collect them, play with them, do whatever you want with them. Well, not whatever you want.

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