Funny - Part 12

5 Things Dads Always F*** Up

Posted 4/2/13 1:00 pm EST by Charlie Kasov in Funny, The Show

dad in kitchen
Credit: Ilya Terentyev

Dads are awesome. They feed you, clothe you, teach you how to play catch and, if you're lucky, how to be a man. But they're definitely stronger in some departments than others. Here's some things they get wrong more often than not.

1. Cooking When Mom's Not Home

Most dads allow themselves to learn one kind of cooking: barbecue. So whenever your mom drove to Pittsburgh to visit her sister, you woke up every morning to the smell of burning charcoal. This was awesome for the first day, but after a week of hot dogs and corn on the cob for breakfast, you need some actual nutrition.

2. Intimidating Teachers

You deserved that C+ on the term paper you started the night before, and your dad deserved to watch a Robert De Niro movie marathon last week. Problem is, he hears about a teacher messing with his kin, and then feels like he needs to go "Goodfellas" on the faculty member.

But your dad's not actually tough, so he ends up talking a litte smack and chest bumping the teacher, which is more baseball manager than mafia wiseguy. No one's scared of a baseball manager, so that C+ becomes the best grade you get the rest of the year.

+ For more on dads, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2

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The 5 Most Awesome (And Bizarre) Bill Murray Stories

Posted 4/1/13 5:55 pm EST by Harry Maccormack in Celebs, Funny, Movies

Coffee and Cigarettes Credit: United Artists

It's April Fools' Day, so we feel compelled to honor the Crown Prince of Pranks, Bill Murray. He's part actor, part comedian and part mythological creature who appears in the strangest places, doing the greatest things.

1. Bill Murray Rolls Up On The Club, RZA And GZA In Tow

He showed up at the Austin bar Shangri-La during the SXSW festival with a quarter of the Wu-Tang Clan. And then volunteered his bartender services, only serving shots of tequila, regardless of what anyone actually ordered. Let's be real though: If you're lucky enough to have Bill Murray pour you a drink, you just drink it and don't ask questions.

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Joe Budden's Good Ass Night Involves Numerous Twins

Posted 4/1/13 5:00 pm EST by Ryan McKee in Funny, Hip-hop, MTV2, The Show

morning-sex-w-twins

Does it count as "morning sex" when you do it right after an evening nap? Joe Budden says it does, which is great because who doesn't love morning sex? Now you can do it twice in day, as long as you take a nap. But guess what is even better than morning sex in the late afternoon? Morning sex in the late afternoon with twins!

Budden really knows how to start off a Good Ass Night and it only gets better from there. The Slaughterhouse member doesn't stop with only one set of twins and keeps the party going until it's time for even more morning sex, this time in a group.

+ Watch the season finale of "Guy Code" tomorrow at 11/10c on MTV2

+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr

Tags Funny, Good Ass Night, Joe Budden, morning sex, Slaughterhouse, Twins, Video

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Cool Things To Do With A Pet Monkey Like Justin Bieber's

Posted 4/1/13 3:00 pm EST by Neal Stastny in Celebs, Funny

Edinburgh Zoo's Brown Capuchin Monkeys Have Record Breeding Season
Credit: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

If you're a world-famous celebrity, you can do whatever you want...except, apparently, bring a pet monkey to Germany. That's what Justin Bieber discovered last weekend when German customs officials confiscated his capuchin because he lacked the proper documentation.

We had no idea that Bieber kept a monkey as a pet, but we respect him for it. And this got us thinking: What would it be like? What are the benefits? What are the pitfalls? In short, what is the Guy Code for owning a monkey?

1. Use It To Pick Up Ladies

Walking a cute puppy in the park is a great way to meet girls, so just imagine how often you'd score with a cute monkey. If your unusual pet makes them nervous, just explain that it's the monkey from that episode of "Friends." (You can also play the hero and say you rescued it from a life of riding dogs at NFL halftime shows.)

2. Use It To Steal Stuff

Aladdin had a kleptomaniac monkey, and so can you. Train your monkey to play innocent, like it doesn't know what an iPhone is, and then pull this trick:

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The Best Pranks Of All Time [Video]

Posted 4/1/13 2:00 pm EST by Guy Code Staff in Funny, Video

invisible driver
Photo via YouTube

April Fools' Day is like Christmas for sociopaths, but we're laughing as long as they don't target us. In honor of this jackass holiday, BroBible collected the greatest prank videos on the internet (including the legendary "Drive Thru Invisible Driver"). Watch the example below, and then click through for the rest.

MORE: "The 7 Best Pranks Of All Time"

+ Follow Guy Code on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr

Tags April Fools' Day, BroBible, Pranks

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The Surprising History Of 5 Classic April Fools' Day Pranks

Posted 4/1/13 12:00 pm EST by Charlie Kasov in Funny

Photo via GameInformer.com

Today is April 1st, and if you're not pranking someone, you're dead inside. There's all kinds of ways to play a good prank. Psychological warfare's always fun--like convincing a loved one you're dying of some rare disease, or calling a buddy and pretending to be an IRS agent with some questions about his "suspicious" tax return--but we also love the pranks of yore. (Bonus: No one ever expects the classics.)

Here's how to do five old-school pranks, plus their unlikely origins.

1. Whoopee Cushion

This gassy bundle of joy has been used since the days of the Roman Empire…by Roman Emperors. The modern version appeared in the 1920s, but the inventor of the Joy Buzzer (more on that in a second) refused to manufacture these "vulgar" devices, which then made a fortune for the entrepreneur who did.

The most fun place to use a whoopee cushion is at a movie theater. Go see a romantic comedy on a Friday night and sit next to a couple engaged in PDA. When one of them heads to the food line or the bathroom, leave the cushion there and wait to ruin their date.

2. Joy Buzzer

Back in the 1920s, prank industrialist S.S. Adams decided to make handshakes super annoying. This one's always cooler on TV and in movies, like when the Joker from Tim Burton's "Batman" movie uses it to give actual electric shocks to his enemies. In reality, the joy buzzer is a weak little prank--it doesn't even have an electric current--that's only fun to use on homophobes and people with high blood pressure.

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How To Build The Ultimate Easter Basket For Guys

Posted 3/29/13 5:00 pm EST by RG Daniels in Funny, Gear

easter bunny drinking
Credit: Ian McDonnell via Getty Images

Between the pastel colors, bunnies, bonnets and baskets, Easter is not a holiday for men. Candy and ham aside, there's just no way for dudes to get excited about Easter--until now. We've put together the Ultimate Easter Basket For Guys, filled with treats to satisfy our manly tastes.

Tags BBQ, beats by dre, Beer, chocolate, Easter, headphones, IHOP, Jesus, ribs, Swag

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5 Reasons Why Easter Egg Hunts Are Incredibly Dangerous

Posted 3/29/13 1:00 pm EST by Will Garre in Food, Funny

Credit: Peter Zelei/Getty Images

You think Halloween is the scariest holiday that revolves around candy? The Easter Bunny is more like the Easter Jackalope, 'cause egg hunts--seemingly harmless events--tend to get surprisingly aggro. Consider the existence of Easter Egg Hunt Insurance, which sounds crazy until you read up on this perilous spring tradition.

1. Stampeding Adults

Last year, Colorado Springs, Colorado canceled its annual egg hunt. Bad weather? Chickenpox outbreak? No, hundreds of "aggressive" parents leaped into fray to give their kids an unfair advantage, unleashing pandemonium. ("The good news is your Easter basket is filled with candy! The bad news is Mommy ripped out somebody's trachea.")

2. Snakes

Planning an egg hunt in Arizona? Think again. Easter Sunday routinely causes a spike in rattlesnake bites, 'cause parents accidentally hide eggs in snake dens. To be fair, it's debatable whether rattlesnake venom is less healthy than the goop inside Cadbury Creme Eggs.

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The 5 Absolute Weirdest Sporting Events

Posted 3/29/13 12:00 pm EST by Neal Stastny in Funny, Sports

Annual Angola Prison Rodeo Turns Inmates Into Cowboys
Credit: Mario Tama/Getty Images

Aren't you tired of watching the same old, boring sports year after year? Aren't the Super Bowl and March Madness getting kinda dull? No? We don't think so either...but if mainstream athletics don't offer you enough action, there's plenty to be found elsewhere if you know where to look.

For example, betting your life savings on where a chicken will take a dump. You can't turn on ESPN and watch Skip Bayless and Steven A. Smith argue about these events, but maybe that's a good thing.

1. Angola Prison Rodeo

At the last prison rodeo in the U.S., spectators get to watch prisoners (who are not allowed to train or practice beforehand) ride bulls and rope broncos. There's even an event called convict poker where four prisoners play cards in the middle of the arena. The winner is the only guy that isn't kicked out of his chair by the bull. It's basically the closest thing we have to the Roman Coliseum.

2. Man Vs. Horse Marathon

This event in Wales tries to determine whether man or beast is supreme. Runners race against riders on horseback for 22 miles across various terrain. Although the event began in 1980, a human didn't win until 2004.

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Hilarious Photos Of Children Terrified By The Easter Bunny

Posted 3/29/13 11:00 am EST by Fallon Prinzivalli in Funny, Photos

Photo: Awkward Family Photos

This Easter we're celebrating a bunny's ability to bring chocolate eggs around the world with these photos of children scared s***less of a furry animal. We have to cut the kids a little slack; some of these costumes even frightened us. It's like their parents want to shell out hundreds of dollars for therapy. See the rest of the pictures, from the Tumblr "Sketchy Bunnies," after the cut.

(We're not above laughing at someone else's expense, especially when they're scared to the point of tears. Sorry, kids.)

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