Posted 3/28/13 5:00 pm EST by Marty Beckerman in Food, Mansumer
Guys, we don't care how much your girlfriend claims she loves bacon. If you break out a package of these non-kosher prophylactics just as things are getting hot and heavy--as hot and heavy as, uh, bacon--congratulations, you've just cock-blocked yourself. ("Pork-blocked" yourself?) Click below for more info about this Thing That Should Not Be.
MORE: "Bacon-Flavored Condoms Inspire These 20 Pig Pun Post Headlines"
Posted 3/27/13 3:00 pm EST by RG Daniels in Celebs, Funny, Mansumer, Video
Credit: Universal Images Group
The world was a stinky place before underarm deodorant. We take this modern breakthrough for granted, but it took until the early 1950s for deodorant to become a part of a man's daily routine. That's a lot of years of B.O.
Guys have changed a lot since then, so we corralled a number of deodorant commercials from years past to show you how far we've come since the middle of last century.
The Cold War must've really f**ked with people's minds. You apparently couldn't walk down the street without some sort of spy passing off government secrets about missiles or whatever. In this commercial, a sultry temptress drops notes for a mysterious dude in a fedora, making it known through her contact that M-3 fights odor for 24 hours. Good to know...even if M-3 sounds like something that gives us bone cancer.
Posted 3/21/13 3:00 pm EST by Ronald Babcock in Funny, Mansumer, Video
Last week, we posted our Hairiest Back Contest, where fans can submit photos of their hairy backs for a chance to win a free Mangroomer Professional Back Hair Trimmer. We've gotten some funny and disturbing submissions, including one of the hairiest asses we've ever seen (it haunts our nightmares), and wanted to know just how well these trimmers will actually work for our entrants.
So, we went to our back hair expert, Ron Babcock. What makes him an expert on back hair? Well, he's been shaving it since most of you were still obsessed with "The Matrix Reloaded." Watch his video review below.
Posted 2/13/13 12:00 pm EST by Neal Stastny in Funny, Ladies, Mansumer
Credit: Roosegaarde
Every guy wonders how many of his female coworkers and fellow bar patrons find him sexually attractive. Well, the fashion industry might've solved this mystery. The prototype "Intimacy 2.0" dress from Daan Roosegaarde supposedly becomes transparent when a woman is turned on, thanks to heartbeat-reading "e-foils." (It's the biggest technological advancement in clothing since Hypercolor.)
Sounds awesome, right? The future will be full of naked women everywhere? Maybe, but this dress could actually complicate things. No matter how much your girlfriend is into you, you're not the most attractive guy in the world. What if her dress turns invisible for your roommate or best friend? (Now you're angry and aroused.)
And what if guys are subsequently expected to wear invisible trousers? Isn't airport security embarrassing enough? Here's the promo video, so decide for yourself:
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Posted 1/31/13 4:00 pm EST by Sean Green in Funny, Mansumer
The Blacktop 360 brands itself as the ultimate tailgating grill ("a next-level man machine ... specifically designed for social cooking") complete with a burner, a griddle and a deep fryer. As avid grillers and sports fans, we were a bit skeptical--it sounded too good to be true for $249.99--but we gave it a shot... and it actually kicked serious ass.
We don't understand much about the electromagnetic spectrum, but we do understand that this thing did an awesome job at grilling up marinated chicken. The bird came out moist, fully cooked and delicious. At 24,000 BTUs (enough to make Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor grunt in approval), it's tough to imagine what kind of meat it can't handle.
While the chicken roasted on the grill, we threw some frozen burger patties and bacon strips on the griddle, creating an orgy of meat that any self-respecting carnivore would find irresistible. Watching a beef patty cook in bacon fat is one of life's greatest joys. (It might not be a long life, but...)
Posted 1/23/13 2:00 pm EST by Marty Beckerman in Mansumer, MTV2, The Show
On last night's "Guy Code" episode, Jon Gabrus explained that you must use baby wipes, not toilet paper, for a truly clean ass. (They're also more eco-friendly, he argued; we've got a call in with the EPA for confirmation.)
Of course, in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, we recommended using baby wipes if you couldn't take a hot shower. But don't just take it from Jon and us. None other than Will.i.am feels the same way, telling Elle magazine:
"Here's proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You're going to get chocolate in the cracks. That's why you gotta get them baby wipes."
You might feel embarrassed buying a giant box of baby wipes at the pharmacy. Even an online purchase could feel like self-infantilization. Sure, your girlfriend calls you a "big baby," but this is different. This is about your dignity as a man. Never fear, because a number of products have you covered...
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