Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
There will be plenty of reasons to watch the 2013 MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, April 14, but here's a big one: Will Ferrell is gonna receive the first-ever Comedic Genius Award. From "Saturday Night Live" to "Anchorman," the dude's been entertaining us for years, so he richly deserves the honor. His comedic chops are nothing short of genius.
For the full list of this year's nominations, check out the "2013 MTV Movie Awards Nominations Spectacular" on Tuesday, March 5. Host Rebel Wilson will announce the Movie of the Year nominees on MTV at 7:58 p.m. EST, and then will head online to MTV.com for the "Best Kiss," "Best Fight" and "Best Shirtless Performance" candidates. You'll be able to cast your votes at MovieAwards.MTV.com.
(If write-in ballots were possible, we'd just pick Will Ferrell for everything... especially "Best Shirtless Performance." He has dozens of them.)
Everybody tries to interpret their dreams. You might even pay a psychologist hundreds of bucks per hour to analyze your recurring nightmare of riding a dolphin into a sea of Jägermeister with some girl from summer camp. That's bizarre enough, but what does it mean when famous people creep into your nocturnal thoughts?
Well, we ain't shrinks, but--based on each celebrity's personality--here's some guesses at what your subconscious is trying to tell you...
To put it mildly, Canadian comic Nathan Fielder has some crazy business ideas. For example, a poo-flavored treat for an yogurt shop and a pizza place that delivers in less than eight minutes, two of the schemes he implements at real businesses in Los Angeles in the upcoming new Comedy Central series "Nathan For You." While Fielder means well and actually possesses a business degree, his ideas are mostly ridiculous. Not completely -- mostly. We spoke with Nathan about the show, all the abuse he took from skeptical customers, and more.
What was your very first job?
I dressed up as a bagel, a big fuzzy bagel and handed out samples outside a shop in Vancouver when I was about 13. The funniest part about the outfit--along with having a circular bagel as the main body, it had basically arms and legs and for some reason the the bagel had kind of clawish hands.
When you work for the "Why Would You Eat? Challenge!", you find yourself asking: "Why would I eat that?" Like, say, while you're shoving caterpillars into your face.
In America, caterpillars are viewed as a pest--but over in South Africa, they're a protein-packed snack. Harvested off the mopane tree, drained of their innards and then dried in the sun, it's kinda like beef jerky, but with 100% less beef and 100% more caterpillar.
YOU:"What does it taste like?" ME:"Like a dead tree. Like eating sand off sand paper. Like eating a dead tree made of sand off sand paper."
Much more fun than eating caterpillars is playing finger football with them. For a recent "Challenge!" episode, we made Soren Bowie from Cracked battle comedian Jason Horton. They each got five kicks and had to devour the ones they missed. If you are what you eat, they should turn into butterflies any second now...
Sleep is important. Doctors say you need eight hours per night, although we like to break it up over the course of a whole day. (A few hours at our desks, a few more hours in the office bathroom stall...)
However, not all naps are created equal. Here's what you need to know about reaching the apex of Slumber Mountain.
1. Noddin' Off
Stage One is categorized as light sleep. Your brain's producing very slow theta waves. It's quick (5-10 minutes), so if one of your buddies yells "Dude!" you'll snap back awake and deny you were asleep. Especially if he yells "Dude! You're at the wheel!"
+ For more on sleep, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
It's been 16 years since Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett first made the All-Star Game. Back in '97, Garnett was in his third season removed from high school and Duncan was a rookie, playing alongside "The Admiral" David Robinson. There wasn't much doubt that each would win a ring in their careers.
As the 2013 All-Star game approaches, we decided to lounge back in a pair of JNCO jeans and fire up the Nintendo 64 as we reminisce about the year these two giants of the game first became All-Stars.
Believe it or not, Guy Code ain't the only code out there. It might be the most important, but it's not alone in this wide world of ethics and morals and s**t you do or don't do. While you're walking around with a swag in your step, these other folks are following their own paths. And much like our own code, they have rules to follow. You can't just walk into anyone's kitchen and expect a steak. Here, we found five other codes in case you end up amongst a gang of geeks, hobos comedians, bears, or Twinks.
Credit: Michael Buckner/Getty Images
You should know by now not to mess with geeks. Yeah, they might have bad haircuts, crooked posture and sweaty palms, but guess what? They got brains you can land rockets on and explore for three straight years. In other words, they are frikkin' smart.
The Geek Code is a series of numbers, letters and symbols used by fellow geeks to express the sort of person they are. Check out the Wikipedia page for Geek Code and you're likely to get dizzy attempting to keep up. If you're gonna call yourself a geek remember to follow the code. If you can't wrap your head around it, then you weren't meant to be there in the first place. Read More...
A bell pepper ranks a zero on the Scoville Scale, which measures hotness in capsaicinoids. Jalapeños range from 3,000-8,000 units. The former heavyweight pepper champion, the ghost chili, clocks in at a million units. The Trinidad Morgua Scorpion Pepper?
Two million units. And I ate it for my job.
See, I'm the "new guy" on the "Why Would You Eat That? Challenge!," a web show where we feed crazy food to famous YouTubers. Crazy foods like, say, the world's hottest pepper.
YOU: What does it taste like?
ME: It tastes like giving the devil a blow job. His dick is on fire, and it goes all the way down your throat and into your intestines.
The worst part: It doesn't stop. Hours later, I could still feel the pepper winding back and forth through my gastrointestinal tract. That's 28 feet. And if you think it's hot going in, just imagine what it feels like coming out. (Spoiler alert: terrible.) Watch me suffer in the video below.