Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
The second episode of Damien Lemon's web series "D.Lemon in the Morning" is here, and this time he's riffing with Hannibal Buress from "Hip-Hop Squares." Emphasis on "hip-hop," because Hannibal is done with stand-up comedy, a lower art form that limited his brilliance. "I had to put my genius to beats," Hannibal says. "Now it's just me dumbing it down because my genius is just way ahead." Yeah, we're not sure what he's talking about, either, but we know this video is pretty damn funny. Watch it below:
As we learned last week, many of our favorite boyhood flicks are better left in the past. Fortunately, there are plenty of films from our youth that, aside from standing the test of time, were integral to our development into the strong, successful, unflappable supermen we are today. As we enjoy the gift of manhood, we should look back and give a nod to those special movies that laid down the law and taught us Guy Code.
This always happens in movies. Someone decides it's a good idea to split up, and then everyone gets systematically murdered. Don't do it. That's how Ricky died, and all he was doing was walking to the store for some milk and scratch tickets. Also, with all due respect to Ricky and his family, he was a fool for stopping to pee on that wall. (Mini-lesson: No public urination in the midst of a potential drive-by.) Read More...
One of our favorite additions to "Guy Code" in season three was Dan Soder, who delivered painfully gut-busting laughs. Comedy Central took notice, and now he's performing on "The Half Hour" tonight at 12/11C. As the name implies, it's thirty minutes of standup comedy...and judging by this preview clip, it's gonna be hilarious:
We caught up with Dan to ask about other topics he'll tackle on "The Half Hour," how he felt appearing on Conan and why some comedians are funny on stage but suck at Twitter.
Aside from hipster-bashing, what can we expect tonight?
There are definitely some "Guy Code"-related subjects like drinking, dating, a lot of that kind of stuff.
What have you been up to since season three ended?
I got a haircut, bought a sandwich with the money they gave me and have been taking a lot of naps. So basically, I've been like a lazy Forrest Gump.
Damien Lemon has made us crack up, hard, on season after season of "Guy Code." It's about damn time he got more recognition, and the fine folks at Esquire agree. The magazine that published F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Norman Mailer, Tom Wolfe and Truman Capote just called Damien an "underrated comic" and "deceptively wise."
That's kind of a big deal, to put it mildly. Even more flattering, since Esquire is an authority on style, they praise Damien's fashion sense...if not his choice of automobile:
"He's a snappy dresser. He's one of those guys who leaves his shirt on the back of the chair before his set so it doesn't get wrinkled. He drives a beat-up Toyota Corolla. Everything about him is 'fresh' but his car is a real s*** box!"
Hey, at least a backhanded compliment is still a compliment. Congrats to Damien! Check out the whole profile here.
Your granddad's a beat-up old man, but you're not getting any younger either. While you may trail in decades, it's inevitable that you, too, will one day slurp your lunch through a straw and complain of aches in places that you didn't think possible.
Not to worry! Getting old might not be THAT bad, thanks to these innovations of science and engineering...
1. The HurryCane
Every time you twerk your way through another night at the club to impress a girl, you're grinding down your joints. No joke, your knees and hips are taking a beating. But as an old fart, you'll have a chance to buy The HurryCane, a breakthrough in cane technology(?) that pivots with the body to allow for extra mobility when you're chasing GILFs at the retirement castle in Arizona.
If you're lucky enough to live in Southern California, then check out the L.A. Comedy Shorts Festival next weekend. It's the biggest comedy film fest in the U.S., and Will Ferrell's Funny Or Die is a major sponsor. You know, Will Ferrell, the guy who'll be honored at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards with the Comedic Genius Award?
At the L.A. Comedy Shorts Festival (get tickets here), Key and Peele will be likewise honored with the Commie Award. To celebrate, we've put together some of their greatest sketches...
Sticks and stones might break a guy's bones--but if you really want to hurt him, make fun of his mom. On tonight's new "Guy Code," the gang opens up about mothers, and we're asking fans to tweet their best Yo Mama jokes. Include #GuyCode, and if cast-member Andrew Schulz likes your joke, he'll retweet it tonight from 10:30-11e. (For inspiration, check out MTV's old show "Yo Momma," dedicated to trash-talking other people's moms.)
Yo Mama jokes are a true art form. Just like a painter can choose from watercolor or oil or sculpture, the Yo Mama insult artist needs a multifaceted arsenal at his disposal...
1. Yo Mama So Fat
You have to exaggerate and defy the laws of nature to make these successful. (Saying "yo mama so fat, she statistically has a greater risk of dying from heart disease" is too real and depressing.) The mama should be so large that she's like a mythical creature whose size grants her extraordinary powers.
Example:"Yo mama so fat, the pilot asked you to remove her picture from your wallet so the plane could take off."
+ For more on moms, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
Whether you like it or not, you'll become less juvenile over time. Stuff that used to seem funny will just seem mean. You'll treat others with more respect. There are, however, little things that will always make us laugh to ourselves.
As men, we can't help hearing certain words or phrases that remind us how immature we really are. We still can't sit through a Science Channel program that mentions a "black hole" without cracking up. Here's 50 more words that will forever prevent us from being fully grown up.
For more on maturity, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11p/10c on MTV2
There will be plenty of reasons to watch the 2013 MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, April 14, but here's a big one: Will Ferrell is gonna receive the first-ever Comedic Genius Award. From "Saturday Night Live" to "Anchorman," the dude's been entertaining us for years, so he richly deserves the honor. His comedic chops are nothing short of genius.
For the full list of this year's nominations, check out the "2013 MTV Movie Awards Nominations Spectacular" on Tuesday, March 5. Host Rebel Wilson will announce the Movie of the Year nominees on MTV at 7:58 p.m. EST, and then will head online to MTV.com for the "Best Kiss," "Best Fight" and "Best Shirtless Performance" candidates. You'll be able to cast your votes at MovieAwards.MTV.com.
(If write-in ballots were possible, we'd just pick Will Ferrell for everything... especially "Best Shirtless Performance." He has dozens of them.)