Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Everybody tries to interpret their dreams. You might even pay a psychologist hundreds of bucks per hour to analyze your recurring nightmare of riding a dolphin into a sea of Jägermeister with some girl from summer camp. That's bizarre enough, but what does it mean when famous people creep into your nocturnal thoughts?
Well, we ain't shrinks, but--based on each celebrity's personality--here's some guesses at what your subconscious is trying to tell you...
We already brought you "The 10 Most Awkward Local News Interviews," but that's limited to American television. When it comes to "WTF?"-caliber on-air madness, there's just no competing with our friends in Japan.
See, in the U.S. we like things tidy and controlled (read: "American Idol," Jay Leno). In Japan, it's a little different. They prefer their celebrity TV interviews to go completely off the rails. If any of this stuff aired in the States, a lot of entertainment industry folks would be out of a job.
1. Beastie Boys
It's tough to pinpoint what we like best about this NSFW clip from almost 25 years ago. It might be the model sloppily eating ice cream for no reason. Or maybe it's the late Adam Yauch ("MCA") constantly playing with his fly and shouting, "Reach down and fondle my balls with ya fingaz!" (He matured after this era. A lot.)
+ For more on Interviewing, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
Photos: Jason Merritt/Getty Images, Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Most celebrities who hit the hardcourt for the NBA's annual celebrity game (modeled on MLB's Celebrity Softball Game and probably MTV's Rock N' Jock) just make the real players fall asleep. But a few, from A-listers to D-listers, have surprising athletic talent.
Forget the tweed jackets and thick-rimmed eyeglasses. Not all novelists are nerds, and some of 'em could drink pretty much anyone under the table. Their characters might've been sensitive, but these literary geniuses were stone-cold. An excerpt from Andrew Shaffer's new book, "Literary Rogues: A Scandalous History of Wayward Authors."
Hollywood's a fickle place. One minute you're slobbering over the new "It Girl," and the next minute you're wondering, "Whatever happened to... what's her name again?" But there's always the possibility of a comeback. Our friends at Guyism came up with a list of "50 Women We Want to See More Of in 2013":
Hard to believe that Izabella is only 32 because we first fell for her her back in 2000 with her role in "Coyote Ugly." Since then though it's been slim pickings for the gorgeous blonde from Poland. Sure, she played Athena in "Clash of the Titans," but we want a little more.
Can someone please explain to us why Kelly Carlson hasn't had any starring movie roles? Seriously. Especially back in the day when she was the hottest thing going on "Nip/Tuck"? (Who can forget that lesbian scene with AnnaLynne McCord?) Did she not want to do films? Damn but she could have really steamed up the big screen. Even now, at age 36, she could still bring it if she was just given the chance. Perhaps she needs a better agent.
The last episode of "Lost" was in 2010. Since then all we've seen Evangeline appear in is "Real Steel," where she was fantastic, in 2011. Unfortunately she's pretty much disappeared since while shooting two of "The Hobbit" movies. Good news for some people since one of them is set to be released this year, and bad news for others, like us, who think that isn't exactly the type of role we want to see her in. Patience is a virtue, right?
On Twitter, it's troll or be trolled... and it's no different for celebrities, who often beef with one another in 140 characters or less. Twitter allows stars to publicly air grievances, the same way a rapper would diss another rapper in his lyrics. But unlike a diss track, inflammatory tweets are immediate and get retweeted by legions of followers. Here are some of the most unlikely and brutal celebrity smackdowns in Twitter history.
If Jason Statham's in a movie, chances are skulls will get crushed. Just try making a bald joke around him; dude will rip the hair off your scalp, and then rip the hair off your chest, and then rip the hair off your balls, and then just rip off your balls. In that spirit, our friends at NextMovie have compiled all of Statham's ass-kickings into one handy infographic.
Here's their scientific method:
What constitutes an 'ass-kicking'? Glad you asked. It ranges from as harmless as "incapacitating a bad guy to question him" to as devastating as "stabbing a bad guy in the neck." (Stabbings were deemed allowable because Statham is usually doing something cool with his knives, like throwing them or spinning them in his hand for no reason.)
Do guns count? Of course not.
Check out the small version below and click through for the big one...
Sometimes it feels like we can't leave our girlfriends alone for one minute. We come back from the bathroom at the bar and some fool is slobbering all over her. Even if she introduces you as her boyfriend, the dude KEEPS TALKING TO HER. This is, like, a Turbo Cock Block Move. Luckily, 99 times out of 100, she'll ignore this jerk.
But there's that other 1% when you're completely outmatched. Some guys you just have zero chance against: Movie stars, pro athletes, platinum-selling musicians. You see one of these dudes talkin' your chick up, order a round of shots and say your goodbyes.
For more on cock-blocking, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
Celebrities aren't merely talented at acting, singing and dancing; they're also talented at getting sick, frequently canceling their concerts, showing up late to rehearsal and otherwise backing out of commitments. Most of us would get fired for that kind of undependable behavior, but A-listers can get out of anything with claims of "exhaustion" and "dehydration." Maybe we can learn a few things from them...
Following in the footsteps of Tony Hawk, President Obama and Travis Pastrana, the Terminator himself (also formerly Mr. Olympia, Conan the Barbarian and governor of California) Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared on reddit Tuesday for an "IamA" question and answer session. Ahhnold added in his bio, "I killed the Predator."
He didn't stick around reddit very long, but long enough to answer a bunch of fun questions, occasionally responding in mangled purple cursive on his iPad. He declined to dish on his younger, orgy-filled days (or about "Kindergarten Cop"), but nevertheless made us want to purchase his autobiography, and more likely to see his latest movie "The Last Stand," costarring MTV's own Johnny Knoxville.
Highlights after the jump. Obviously, we implore you to read all the responses in his voice to maximize entertainment value.