Credit: Momo/Juan Garces/Splash News; Las Vegas Police/ Splash
Arianny Celeste is a known babe quantity in MMA circles, as she's one of the hottest Octagon Girls in UFC history. She's also big in Internet horndoggery circles for her Playboy spread and general willingness to tweet racy photos of herself. You might be shocked to know that those two fanbases are 96% overlap.
But this bit of news could be her big crossover moment, for she's makin' REAL headlines now. Celeste was arrested in Las Vegas for domestic abuse early Saturday morning, so instead of attending UFC 146, she was in a jail cell. According to TMZ, Celeste was arguing with her boyfriend in a limo when she kicked him in the face and then threw some vases at him back at their hotel room.
Celeste says the fight was over texts the guy allegedly sent to another woman. What the f*** is this dude thinking? First of all, with all that time she spends in the Octagon, didn't he think some of the ass-kicking skills would rub off on her? And secondly, you're dating ARIANNY CELESTE. The only thing you need a cellphone for is to receive sexts from THIS:
Credit: JCFL/Splash News
Credit: Metro UK
Like thousands of other young blondes with a Model Mayhem page, Anna Watts is a hard-bodied 24-year-old who'd turn heads in real life but rarely gets noticed online. Until now, we unfortunately haven't had a reason to notice her. But when Anna got hired to stand next to that big ass sandwich in the above photo, we got our reason. Thanks be to the modeling gods (no, not Tyra Banks).
The sandwich is "the world meatiest" and some publicity gag for Food Network UK. Whatever. What's important is that we now have reason to post pictures of this 24-year-old Brit. Let's hope that standing next to a big-ass sandwich is the key to launching a model career.
Credit: Joe Scarnici/WireImage
Meet Lolo Jones. She is a gorgeous 29-year-old Olympic hurdler. And she's a virgin. Jones announced on an upcoming episode of HBO's "Real Sports" that she's waiting until marriage, and that staying a virgin has been harder than training for the Olympics.
She said her virginity has made it hard for her to find a serious boyfriend. But we suspect her problem lies with the fact that she's been using online dating sites and Twitter to find a mate. You can't find a keeper among the blathering fools of Twitter!
So we want to help Lolo. Since Tim Tebow was already snatched up by a fellow virgin, might we suggest, well, us? I think you'll find the men of the Clutch offices are very tolerant and respectful of your life choice. Specifically, the writer of this post. You may be a virgin, but we're just as awkward as virgins.
Anyway, just because Lolo is "pure" doesn't mean she's prude. Jones has showed some skin in photo shoots, specifically the upper butt crack region in the ESPN Body Issue a few years ago. So here's some more pics showing her body of work. Her fit, tan, uncorrupted body of work.
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Credit: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
There's nothing less sexy than the opera. Stuffy old aristocrats, old ladies holding up those diamond-encrusted glasses on a stick, people singing in Viking helmets. We'll pass.
Wait! Foxy British opera singer Katherine Jenkins has made us rethink our opinion on opera. She's got major crossover appeal (read: she's crazy hot). Sure, your mom may know about Jenkins because she's on "Dancing With The Stars." But we hadn't heard of her until this morning, when we saw the headlines splashed everywhere: "Katherine Jenkins has DWTS Meltdown." We didn't know what that meant, but we saw the accompanying screencaps of her wearing belly dancer garb, and we couldn't help ourselves from investigating further. Ya know, for work.
Off to the ol' Google Image machine. And then we wondered how we hadn't heard of this lovely blond 31-year-old with the jaw-dropping body. Oh, and she's a mad decent singer, too. We didn't want you guys to have to live in a Katherine Jenkins-free world like we had, so here you go. We think maybe those credit report commercials and public access broadcasts have been lying to us about fat ladies and the opera all this time.
By now we've all seen the "Cat Daddy" video, featuring Kate Upton in another impossibly small bikini jiggling around for everyone's viewing pleasure. If you haven't seen it, well shame on you. There are certain things in life you have to make time for -- eating, calling your grandparents, studying -- and this is one of those things. I mean, the video was removed from YouTube for being "too sexual" -- it was just that jiggly.
Lucky for the world, the enterprising minds at Buzzfeed compiled GIFs of the action, and we've shared our favorites from the list. But really, it's like Baskin Robbins, you should just work your way through all the flavors. Below, check out why Kate Upton is clearly not a good dancer, and yet manages to be clearly THE BEST DANCER.
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HBO's new show "Girls" is taking the world by storm, which is odd because it features nary a vampire nor dragon nor crime boss. It's credited for depicting "realistic" women (in other words, they don't resemble the pun-spouting sentient Soho mannequins from "Sex And The City"). "Girls" has firmly planted itself on the "funny and extremely uncomfortable" end of the comedy spectrum, a place usually reserved for male curmudgeons like Louis C.K. So this is no "female" comedy, it's just a comedy.
You should watch it for all of those reasons. But you should also watch it (**and now, to completely lose whatever lady readers we charmed with the above paragraph**) because it stars the smoking hot Allison Williams. We're talking hot enough to depict Kate Middleton in a Funny or Die sketch. The 23-year-old Yale grad plays "Marnie" on the show, and is the daughter of NBC News anchor and comedy dabbler Brian Williams. Lucky for your eyes, the only thing she seems to have inherited from him is comedic timing, as you can see below. Read More...
Credit: ESPN via @cjzero
With the eighth pick in the NFL Draft last night, the Miami Dolphins chose former Texas A&M quarterback Ryan Tannehill. While the nerds are talking about whether he'll be a bust, America's salivating pigskin pigs were about to bust after seeing cutaways of his model wife, Lauren Ufer. She caused Twitter to pretty much explode during a broadcast that was already Twitter-bated into a refractory period.
So congratulations, Lauren. You are now a part of the vaunted Hot WAGs club. Say hello to Colt McCoy's wife and Gisele for us. Sure, you may have to root for the lowly Dolphins, but hey, it could be worse. Your meal ticket hubby could've been shipped off to cold-ass Cleveland. Just be glad you landed in a warm weather city! Embrace it, wearing a bikini whenever you feel like it, even when there are paparazzi around! That way, everybody wins! (Except the Dolphins, of course). Speaking of bikinis:
Courtesy of AMC
"Mad Men" returned last night, and in addition to watching our favorite womanizing band of stylish alcoholic racists, we got to see more of Don's lady Megan. A LOT more. This is a good thing.
Canadian actress Jessica Paré isn't a household name , but will be soon after her portrayal of Don's new wife last night. After giving a smoldering burlesque performance (singing in French = insta-chub), she introduced the world to housecleaning in your underwear, which ended in angry floor sex. Not exactly how things play out when our cleaning lady comes around. Again, this is a good thing.
But perhaps the '60s just don't do it for you. We get that. Well, good news: Pare can also do the '80s! She was in "Hot Tub Time Machine," topless (ah, now we get why Don Draper married her). In fact, she's been doing topless scenes since "Stardom" in 2000 and a full-on lesbian love scene in 20o1's "Lost and Delirious." We love French Canadians! Check out the screencaps of our new favorite Canadian below. (Sorry, Bryan Adams).
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For the second week of March Madness, we have a second sexy sports reporter for you, because everyone could use a break from watching sweaty dudes balling and/or going H.A.M. on the bench. So feast your eyes on Julie Alexandria of the Big Ten Network. You gotta respect networks like BTN and CBS Sports: Simply by existing, they know the viewers will flock to them, so they COULD just coast. But instead, they put in the extra effort by hiring babes like Miss Alexandria. Who says network executives are evil?
Alexandria hosts "Tailgate 48" on BTN, so if Julie and her crew visit your debauched campus, make sure to break out your finest beer funnel and hooded sweatshirt when she comes around. But since football season is far, far away, for now you'll have to settle with some of Julie's finest work.
So you're stuck at work as March Madness kicks off. Sure, the option to live stream games has improved that predicament immensely, but it's still pretty terrible. You could be in your gym shorts crushing a few beers, screaming at your TV and making terrible gambling decisions. Instead, you're stuck in a cubicle with a bunch of people you hate and trying to secretly watch games in between pauses for buffering.
But we have your silver lining: CBS Sports Network's Kaylee Hartung. Last year Kaylee served as a reporter for CBS's and Turner's online coverage of the NCAA tournament, which means all you guys checking on scores at work are in for a treat. Advantage: dude at work. That is the only time that statement has been uttered about someone who is not a Playboy photographer.
And just so you know, Kaylee is also a political reporter for CBS News, so she's got brains...sexy, sexy brains. Join us in fawning over Kaylee's press credentials below.