Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
If the amnesia video is real, then it's a genuinely sweet moment -- and it made us wonder what that situation would be like if the roles were reversed. Well, Slacktory has made a parody to answer that very question. Although this one is definitely fake, it's probably a little more realistic. Hey, it's tough to stay in shape after several years of wedded bliss.
It's been a long time since Zack Morris served as a shining example of Guy Code on "Saved By The Bell." Sure, kids growing up now can still check out the reruns, but it just won't ring as true for the new generation. Thankfully, actor Mark-Paul Gosselaar met up with comedian Paul F. Tompkins for his hilarious talk show, "Speakeasy," to discuss how Zack would handle some modern problems. Watch the video, and then check out our ideas for more present-day episodes...
Zack Accidentally Snapchats Jessie
Still riding a high after a wrestling victory over Valley, Zack tries to send a racy snapchat to Kelly, but accidentally sends it to Jessie. Zack panics when Jessie responds with her own sexy snapchat. Zack knows he should let Jessie down without hurting her feelings -- and without letting Kelly find out. Zack sends Jessie another snapchat. This time, it's a photo from a medical textbook, which he captions, "Is this infected?" Jessie loses all interest.
In Florida, there are guys who have epic drunken meltdowns...and then there's Matthew Murphy.
Police say that the 46-year-old resident of Pembroke Park called 911 at nearly 1 a.m. to report that his roommate had "touched" his girlfriend, and then called again, claiming that the roommate "had a machine gun and police better hurry up." Once the cops arrived and realized there was no machine gun to be found, Murphy allegedly asked the responding officers, "I got you here, didn't I?" and "Did I interrupt you from your donuts?"
Far from finished, Murphy tried to fight an officer, threatened to kill another and said he wanted to blow up the police station, according to authorities, who took him to a holding cell that he allegedly pissed all over.
Fellas, if you're mad at your roommate, then just find a new place to live. Lying to emergency services is way more trouble than going on Craigslist.
Although Batman is teaming up with Superman in the "Man Of Steel" sequel, in real life he's teaming up with Captain America to rescue household pets.
Ex-firefighter and Iraq veteran John Buckland (Batman) and his "Heroes 4 Hire" partner Troy Marcum (Captain America) were teaching kids about safety in Milton, West Virginia, when they saw a house on fire. They raced inside and saved a cat, then resuscitated it. The feline ungratefully hissed at Buckland, who didn't take it personally because "he just got resuscitated by Batman -- that's a pretty scary thing to wake up to."
It's pretty weird to hear Batman speak with a Southern accent, but Buckland has the skills and a badass suit. Maybe he could take the role away from Ben Affleck? OK, that's a long shot, but watch the video after the jump:
Creeping on ladies isn't often an honorable activity, but apparently it can save lives.
Jamal Harris and Aaron Arias, ages 17 and 19, were driving through Dallas, Texas when they saw a "kind of attractive" 25-year-old woman in the backseat of another car. She noticed the two guys checking her out and mouthed the words "help me." They realized she'd been kidnapped, quickly called 911 and followed the car until police could intervene.
Although these two guys saved her, and even got a hug out of it, don't think you're doing hot girls a favor when you blatantly stare at them. But it's nice to know that, sometimes, being horny can make you a hero.
Is chivalry dead? Ladies might answer "yes" after going on a date with 32-year-old London man Kishore Nimmala, who is accused of stealing a woman's Blackberry when she refused to split the bill on their first date.
According to the prosecutor in the case, the woman didn't have any cash on her and thought that Nimmala would cover the check, but he followed her outside, demanding £25 ($39), and then "grabbed her mobile phone from her hand and ran off down the street with it." Police tracked him down, and he allegedly told the officers, "She took my money...I took her phone."
Like it or not, it's Guy Code 101 to expect you'll pay on the first date. If she insists on chipping in, that's fine. But if she doesn't want to split the bill, you can't just split with her property.
Playing poker comes with plenty of risks, and talking trash before the river is dealt can only add to the sting of losing all your chips. That's the lesson Carter Gill just learned at the World Series of Poker. He had a 93% chance to beat David Paredes with one card left, and he liked those odds enough to repeatedly taunt, "All you need is a queen." Paredes took that 3% chance, and left Gill making one of the saddest faces we've ever seen:
Losing is bad enough, but it's worse when you make yourself look like a fool, too. At least Gill has a sense of humor about it, and changed his Twitter bio to "Poker player, professional saddest-face-ever for hire...and soon to be B-level reality star." Here are a few other instances when we usually encounter the "I Just Got Beat" Face...
Part of being a sports fan is obsessing over any bit of information about your team that you can find online. Here at Guy Code, we may not have any beat reporters to get you breaking news about your team, but we can tell you how your team in doing on Twitter. Sure, this may have nothing to do with actual performance on the field, but it's fun to see what this may tell you about your team. For example, fans in Arizona seem to hate Twitter, sports or both.
If you're a fan of one of these teams, at least they suck at something inconsequential. If you hate one of these teams, here's a little more ammunition to unleash on rival fans. Here are the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL teams with the worst Twitter followings:
Arizona Cardinals: 63k followers
Maybe it's just preseason and you need to think of something to tweet? Or maybe your team is so terrible that you want to get excited about how versatile your backup quarterback is?
Sagging jeans might not get you arrested by the fashion police, but they apparently might get you arrested by the real police.
Cops apprehended 21-year-old Joel Donaldson of Brooklyn, New York for allegedly stealing a woman's cell phone. He tried to make his escape on foot, but his baggy pants fell around his ankles and hindered his getaway, according to authorities, who reportedly found him shuffling his way down the street. A witness told the New York Post, "He was zigzagging all over the place, but he couldn't run because his pants was falling down."
Maybe belts aren't your style, but if you're planning on evading law enforcement, you should probably include one in your wardrobe.
The shawarma-eating scene at the end of "The Avengers" massively boosted the Middle-Eastern dish's popularity here in America, and "Mortal Kombat" might do the same for Russia. The chef at this Eastern European kebab shop, which blasts the soundtrack from the 1995 video game adaptation, handles his knife like a katana-wielding ninja, acrobatically adding chicken and lettuce to your sandwich like Sub-Zero would. Needless to say, this video is way better than any of the "Mortal Kombat" movies...