Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
The flat top (a.k.a. the hi-top fade), one of the most stylish trends to ever land atop basketball players' domes, has made a triumphant return. The 'do reached its apex in the late '80s and early '90s with ballers such as Patrick Ewing, Scottie Pippen, Charles Oakley, David Robinson, John Starks, Dominique Wilkins, Chris Mullin, Rick Fox, J.R. Reid, Kenny Walker, Robert Horry, Dee Brown, Shawn Kemp and Detlef Shrempf.
And then it disappeared for 20 years. Nobody knows why.
Thank goodness Milwaukee Bucks' point guard Brandon Jennings brought sexy flat top back to the NBA a couple years ago. He's since shaved it, but inspired a couple other players to grow theirs. Now the flat top's spread into the college ranks, and probably throughout high schools and middle schools. Maybe it just needed a full generation to rest. Here's visual proof that the hi-top is back on top.
To put it mildly, Canadian comic Nathan Fielder has some crazy business ideas. For example, a poo-flavored treat for an yogurt shop and a pizza place that delivers in less than eight minutes, two of the schemes he implements at real businesses in Los Angeles in the upcoming new Comedy Central series "Nathan For You." While Fielder means well and actually possesses a business degree, his ideas are mostly ridiculous. Not completely -- mostly. We spoke with Nathan about the show, all the abuse he took from skeptical customers, and more.
What was your very first job?
I dressed up as a bagel, a big fuzzy bagel and handed out samples outside a shop in Vancouver when I was about 13. The funniest part about the outfit--along with having a circular bagel as the main body, it had basically arms and legs and for some reason the the bagel had kind of clawish hands.
Midway through the Ohio State/Wisconsin Badgers game this past weekend, we got to wondering: What the heck does a badger actually look like? Maybe we saw a photograph in elementary school, but the memory's faded and we're pretty sure it doesn't look like chipper Bucky Badger, seen above next to his real-life counterpart. (Although classic fierce Bucky Badger comes closer.)
Which got us thinking: Do any anthropomorphic NCAA mascots resemble the s*** they're supposed to be? Here's a completely unscientific examination--a virtual safari, let's call it--comparing silly costumes with Mother Nature's renderings.
She might not be a movie star, but this Rambo is a lot sexier than Sylvester Stallone's. In addition to being one of the most popular SuicideGirls models (you can see why), she works as SG's model coordinator, scouring the Internet to discover future SuicideGirls.
We had the pleasure of a Skype session with the stunning and very sweet Rambo, who gave us some valuable tips for dating SuicideGirls--and convinced us to pick up a copy of the new SG book "Hard Girls, Soft Light."
So what makes a SuicideGirl, a SuicideGirl?
First of all, we're super independent. We have different kinds of quirky interests and talents and I think a lot of us came from situations in high school where we didn’t really fit in and always felt like outcasts. This is a safe haven for all the weirdos out there to come together and celebrate being unique.
Most of us fantasize about what we'd do if we bought a winning lottery ticket. None of those fantasies include going to the hospital, then going to jail, 'cause we immolated our home during a celebratory meth binge.
But according to Kansas authorities, that's exactly what two brothers did, emptying two large cans of butane lighter fluid near their furnace's pilot light. "As you might expect, ka-boom," said a sergeant with the Wichita Police Department.
One of the bros, a 27-year-old, sustained second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest. (He wore a lottery t-shirt during the explosion.) Talk about a reversal of fortune on par with Hurley's from "Lost," and dozens of other lives ruined after a major windfall.
The sad part is that $75,000--a nice chunk of cheddar, sure--isn't enough to quit your day job over, let alone ruin your life over. Maybe if the brothers had won the full jackpot, they would've torched the entire block?
Every now and then, you see a ridiculously hot chick dating a total schlub. It's like "Beauty and the Beast," without the happy ending, because you're not that schlub. On next week's "Guy Code," Andrew Schulz goes out on the streets to ask New Yorkers about "How'd-he," as in "How'd he get with her?"
How did that shaggy, dorky-looking, poor man'S version of Malcolm Gladwell bag the magnificently beautiful Christina Hendricks? The lucky guy probably spends the better portion of every night nestled in and around her bosom, stroking her locks of luscious red hair.
She said of her first encounter with Arend: "Geoffrey walked in and I was like, 'Who is this guy?' He had amazing hair and was all disheveled--he was running late and everyone was waiting for him. He just came in with this very high energy."
"I cracked it out in such a big way," she said of their first date. "I was like, 'You make me want to have a family.' I freaked him out a bit...Thank God I didn't spook him enough to make him leave."
The Harlem Shake YouTube dance craze has its detractors who say that the amorphous movement doesn't even resemble the original, a 30-plus-year-old shoulder popping move introduced by Harlem's Al Bm in 1981. Other detractors say it's just played out.
Whatever, and false. Anything that compels a group of people to gyrate wildly shirtless (or in chicken costumes) while standing on top of furniture is pretty damn excellent, in our book. It's pretty much the greatest thing to happen to the Internet this year. So let your shoulders loose, take your pants off and stay awhile.
After you watch these four-second before/after GIFs, watch the videos for the full experience. And of course, pop open Baauer's "Harlem Shake" for full listening effect.
Nobody can accuse Las Vegas restaurant Heart Attack Grill of false advertising. The eatery just lost its second unofficial spokesperson from...yes, a heart attack, at age 52.
John Alleman, who ordered a "Single Bypass Burger," fries and a soda almost every day, suffered a massive coronary near the restaurant. He'd often stand outside it, convincing strangers to come in for lunch.
"He lived a very full life," Heart Attack Grill owner Jon Basso told the Las Vegas Sun. "He was definitely one of the boys and so much one of the boys that half the time it seemed like he was running the place."
Alleman wasn't paid for his evangelizing. (Nor was his predecessor, 575-pound Blair River, who died in 2011.) Now the restaurant is seeking a new greeter with a passion for burgers and a willingness to become another statistic in America's obesity epidemic.
But who are we to criticize? Alleman literally died doing what he loved: Eating gigantic burgers and socializing with friends. We all want to go out happy, and what could make a guy happier than a 9,982-calorie, three-pound Quadruple Bypass Burger? His diet isn't for us, but if you leave this world with a smile on your face, then you did something right.
Young outfielders Collin Cowgill (now a Met) and Mike Trout looking to see what we'll come up with.
Pitchers and catchers have finally reported, which means that fantasy baseball owners must begin brainstorming clever, vile and/or entertaining team names.You know the routine... Out with the old: Winnie the Pujols, Fister Pujols, Oscar Meyer Wieters, Carry On My Heyward Dunn, Grand Theft Votto, The Bourn Supremacy, Yu Mamma's Uggla, Honey Nut Ichiros, Morneau After Pill, Cano Soup For You, You Don't Mess With The Johan, Melky Surprise, Huston Street We Have a Problem, Hanrahan Job, It Byrnes When I Peavy, Cuddyer Straits, Fielder of Dreams, Kershawshank Redemption and Latos Intolerant. And in the with the new, after the jump! We curated the best we could find on Twitter and the Web, and added a bunch of our own.
We're pretty fond of zombies around here, from "The Walking Dead" to harmless pranks. You know, the kind that don't risk causing widespread panic. So we're not sure we can 100% endorse the prankster who hacked a Montana TV station to alert several counties of an in-progress zombie apocalypse.
"Civil authorities in your area have reported that the bodies of the dead are rising from their graves and attacking the living," says a muffled voice, juxtaposed with a silly pancake commercial, which would make a crappy last supper.
Applicable Guy Code in this situation? Hey, you've gotta be prepared for anything, but also skeptical. If you have a crossbow or battle ax handy, go outside and check things out. Or call the police, like four concerned Montanans did. Your best bet, however, is probably to ignore the warning, because zombies aren't real. Here's the video: