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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

SCHERZER
Photo: ESPN

Midway through Detroit starting pitcher Max Scherzer's third outing of the season, we noticed that the big hurler looks a bit like one of our favorite '90s cartoon characters: Doug Funnie from "Doug." (It has nothing to do with Scherzer's heterochromia, because Doug's eyes are merely black dots.)

He's not the only MLB pitcher with an animated lookalike. We think it's because MLB pitchers are a very diverse bunch with players of all shapes and sizes. There's fat guys, skinny guys, ugly guys and dorky guys. Check out the roster.

Joba Chamberlain -- P.J. Pete of "Goof Troop"

JOBA
Photo: Getty Images

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greinke

When Padres outfielder Carlos Quentin charged the mound last night, pitcher Zack Greinke (who'd just plunked him) sustained a fractured left collarbone in the bench-clearing brawl. This presents a virtual explosion of Guy Code topics: When does a player have grounds to charge the mound? For how long can a guy play the "hold me back!" routine before he ought to (1) stop that or (2) throw a fist?

Regardless, it didn't have to end this way. Greinke should've tackled Quentin's ass.

Let's examine the facts. Quentin has been hit by 42 pitches since 2011, leading all of Major League Baseball. Last night's HBP marks the third time Greinke hit Quentin, so they have a bit of a history, although Greinke claimed it was unintentional. Anyhow, Quentin took a step toward the mound, at which point Greinke might've said something, and then it was game on.

It looked like Grienke would use the Kyle Farnsworth two-legged takedown, until he just leaned in with his left shoulder and absorbed a big check from Quentin. It's understandable that the pitcher didn't want to break his throwing hand, but delivering a (likely collarbone-breaking) check made no sense! This isn't bumper cars!

Greinke had only a split-second to decide, but why not go for the tackle? In what other scenario would you body check a man charging at you!? We're not asking for a Nolan Ryan-style Robin Ventura head lock and beat down...just something more than a shoulder blow.

For that matter, Quentin started this thing and the best he had was a shove? Neither one of them threw a punch? We're not mad, just disappointed. Supposedly this was a brawl, yet hockey players they are not. Watch the video after the jump and judge for yourself.

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Photos: Getty Images

Every time we fire up the Twitter machine and notice a celebrity's name is trending, we try to guess the reason. Most of the time the reason would make the person blush. Today, for example, Padres outfielder Carlos Quentin is trending 'cause he broke pitcher Zach Greinke's collarbone after getting hit by the ball. Not exactly why you want to become a trending topic.

This list covers pretty much every embarrassing scenario. Let's get to it.

1. Your sex tape leaked


Photo: Getty Images

The caveat is if you leaked it intentionally to launch a career (the Kardashian rule).

Recent examples: Hulk Hogan, Former Miss Teen Delaware

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30signs
Photo: Getty Images

Hats off to fans who brings signs to the stadium. We personally enjoy holding beer and/or hotdogs at the game, but these heroes of free speech forgo those pleasures to entertain the rest of us. Here's a comprehensive taxonomy of signs you'll find at the ballpark, ice rink or wherever else players earn substantial sums of money.

+ For more on going to the game, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2

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pies5
Credit: SBNation

Oakland A's outfielder Josh Reddick raised the bar for whipped cream pieings last season when he dressed up in a Spider-Man (a.k.a. "Pie-der Man") costume and smashed Coco Crisp after a 13th-inning walk-off sacrifice fly. It's one of baseball's entertaining, delicious traditions. Tastes like victory!

We look forward to more major leaguers getting creative like Reddick (and creamed like Crisp) in 2013. Read on for different stylistic approaches to the art of pie smashing.

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closecall6
Credit: 4gifs/smosh

Little did the businessman rushing to work know that a bus driver would lose focus and plow into a station wagon at the red light. Fortunately Mr. Frogger turned his head with just enough time to outrun both the car and bus; a millisecond later and he might've been roadkill. Yet today he's (presumably) alive and well...and in a GIF, not a grave.

After the jump, here's 15 more GIFs of unsuspecting people who found themselves only inches from game over. You won't believe their luck...and won't believe your eyes.

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Pittsburgh Pirates v San Francisco Giants
Photo: Getty Images

Sooner or later, that glorious smell of stadium beers and the crack of the bat on Opening Day fades away. Will your baseball interest level fade to black or turn into dreams of a great October run? That's the question, yet many fans struggle to grip reality, in part because they have different expectations for their teams.

We've made the impending 2013 MLB adventure quite simple. In the guide below, you'll find the precise date that you can expect to grasp that your team just isn't championship material. Put another way, it's the date you can say, "Screw it." Read More...

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COVER
Photos: Getty Images

While the bubble gum stick is a relic of the baseball card industry, it remains a prominent part of the game today. Just yesterday, Big League Chew announced that Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp and Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels would be featured on packages of BLC's shredded chewy delight. (Cartoon characters have appeared on the classic bags since the '70s.)

The baseball season grinds men down, but it's a little sweeter with a wad of gum. Here's 20 photos of players, coaches and their sugary bubble creations.

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winestop
Photo: Yao Family, terlatowines

You might look sophisticated drinking wine, but just imagine if you owned and operated a winery. Celebrities often dream of a label bearing their name, but it's hard work and a famous name alone doesn't spell success. Many have succeeded, however, and they include big time athletes with a taste for vino. Whet your appetite with our list of athlete vintners. 

For more on wine, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11p/10c on MTV2

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Cagliari Calcio v AC Milan - Serie A
Credit: Getty Images

The Italian striker for A.C. Milan, Mario Balotelli, commissioned an artist to build a life-size statue of himself posing shirtless. Said the sculptor tasked with the job: "I presented several drawings but Mario wanted to be immortalized in a pose that shows him having scored a goal, highlighting his muscles and with an expression of defiance."

Super Mario is not short on self-confidence or crazy stories. He's kind of a Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocino of soccer: teams tolerate(d) the antics because he's so talented. Despite reports that the 22-year-old has scuffled with his own teammates and coaches over the years, he's beloved by fans.

He's just kind of nuts, but it makes him (and soccer) more interesting. But don't take it from us. Said his former coach Roberto Mancini, who once described Balotelli as "like another one of my children:" "The problem is because of [Balotelli's] age, he can make some mistakes. He's Mario. He's crazy--but I love him because he's a good guy." Click on for a rundown of Balotelli's greatest hits.

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