Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
Forgiven markets itself as "a natural, chemical free alcohol metabolizer." We don't completely understand what that means, but it has something to do with preventing hangovers. The idea is you carry this 5-Hour Energy-sized bottle of Forgiven with you out on the town. When you're finished getting drunk, you drink it (hopefully you're not so drunk that you forget) and you'll feel better-than-crappy the next morning.
The company sent us a box of this stuff. Through the years, we've been sold a bunch of snake oils posing as hangover cures and they've never helped. Still, we were willing to set our previous biases to the side and give Forgiven the proper Mansumer Reports test. For that we turned to the biggest group of drunks we know, standup comics. Ron Babcock, Barbara Gray, Adam Murray, Steve Benaquist, Dave Ross and Scott Boxenbaum agreed to record themselves getting drunk, then trying Forgiven and finally their thoughts on it the next morning. You may be surprised by the results.
Last week, we posted our Hairiest Back Contest, where fans can submit photos of their hairy backs for a chance to win a free Mangroomer Professional Back Hair Trimmer. We've gotten some funny and disturbing submissions, including one of the hairiest asses we've ever seen (it haunts our nightmares), and wanted to know just how well these trimmers will actually work for our entrants.
So, we went to our back hair expert, Ron Babcock. What makes him an expert on back hair? Well, he's been shaving it since most of you were still obsessed with "The Matrix Reloaded." Watch his video review below.
When you work for the "Why Would You Eat? Challenge!", you find yourself asking: "Why would I eat that?" Like, say, while you're shoving caterpillars into your face.
In America, caterpillars are viewed as a pest--but over in South Africa, they're a protein-packed snack. Harvested off the mopane tree, drained of their innards and then dried in the sun, it's kinda like beef jerky, but with 100% less beef and 100% more caterpillar.
YOU:"What does it taste like?" ME:"Like a dead tree. Like eating sand off sand paper. Like eating a dead tree made of sand off sand paper."
Much more fun than eating caterpillars is playing finger football with them. For a recent "Challenge!" episode, we made Soren Bowie from Cracked battle comedian Jason Horton. They each got five kicks and had to devour the ones they missed. If you are what you eat, they should turn into butterflies any second now...
A bell pepper ranks a zero on the Scoville Scale, which measures hotness in capsaicinoids. Jalapeños range from 3,000-8,000 units. The former heavyweight pepper champion, the ghost chili, clocks in at a million units. The Trinidad Morgua Scorpion Pepper?
Two million units. And I ate it for my job.
See, I'm the "new guy" on the "Why Would You Eat That? Challenge!," a web show where we feed crazy food to famous YouTubers. Crazy foods like, say, the world's hottest pepper.
YOU: What does it taste like?
ME: It tastes like giving the devil a blow job. His dick is on fire, and it goes all the way down your throat and into your intestines.
The worst part: It doesn't stop. Hours later, I could still feel the pepper winding back and forth through my gastrointestinal tract. That's 28 feet. And if you think it's hot going in, just imagine what it feels like coming out. (Spoiler alert: terrible.) Watch me suffer in the video below.