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Kanye West said the following a few weeks ago:
"I wanna have world leaders [at my funeral] that were, like, affected, that said, you know, ‘Kanye gave me my shot here...he told me to believe in myself'"
Uh, OK. Is that so, Mr. West? You know we couldn't let this slide without some sort of response. That being said, here are some world leaders who will or will not show up for Kanye's fictitious funeral services.
Every year, the music industry loves to tally the Best Singles of said year. Hits that made radio worthwhile, had people buying albums, yada yada yada. In 2011, some of the "best singles" were also the most ridiculous. Certain songs (specifically in rap) had no clear meaning, while others just repeated the same words fifty-eight times. Still, these tracks were hits and we'd be lying if we said our feet weren't tapping along to these seven songs at some point this year. To commemorate these confusing yet catchy beasts, we've listed them below in case you'd like to baffle your iPod before 2012.
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On New Year's 2011, a bunch of famous rappers must have gotten together and agreed, "Let's go crazy with our hair this year." That they did. While artists are known for expressing themselves folically, it seems like this year really drove that point overboard. From recklessly abandoning one's locks to over-dyeing, overdrying and etching weird things into their skulls, hip-hop artists had some strange ways of saying, "Hey guys, look at me! I'm different." As we run down the list of 2k11's most confusing coifs, we can't stress the following message enough: Do NOT try these at home.
In 2011, hip-hop memes became a very important part of our everyday internet existence. Whether clowning some random song lyrics or captioning photos of rappers laughing, memes served to single out and poke fun at artists who tend to take themselves way too seriously. If these memes prove anything it's that punch lines can be created out of just about anything. The following seven from this year should inspire you to break out the Photoshop and make your own.
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Tupac once said, "All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend." Sure, he was referring to his gun, but a "ride or die" chick by the side of a mic-bearing kingpin is not only a gift; it's a requirement. 2011 brought some new ladies out of the woodwork. Some romances even managed to stay afloat despite the all-around pessimism surrounding them. Whether you're into the PDA or the OPP, there was something for everybody in 2011's Hip-Hop Soap Opera.
Hip-hop may be in its 30s, but when it comes to beefs, rappers act like teenagers. While some actually are teens, seasoned artists also flex mad beefing skills to claim the top spots. It has been a great year for interesting rap beefs: between young and old, carryovers from years past, brand-new head-scratchers and Twitter wars. MTV Clutch has followed every last one (even trying to provoke our own) and we've come up with our five favorites from 2011. We feel confident that our list covers the gambit of this year's best beefs and gives you a good sense of who hip-hop's finest beefers will be going forward.
Earlier in the week, Jay-Z and Kanye West brought their Watch the Throne tour to New York. The show was packed with high energy, tons of classics and two hip-hop heavyweights. Jay and Ye made history with the album Watch the Throne, as the two came together and created one huge work under The Throne. Okay enough of the Masterpiece Theatre jargon, the concert had some other finer moments like animals being killed on a TV screen. Don't believe us? Read on.
1. Kanye West's Leather Skirt
Real men wear kilts says Andre3000. Kanye agreed, and has proudly donned a black leather man-skirt...very chic. That's not all, he had black leather leggings underneath. Was he cold? Did he forget to shave his legs? Who knows. The point is, Kanye West wears skirts. Since he's so fashion forward, Kanye's guy fans will certainly be walking around in leather skirts (sorry, kilts) in no time won't they? Won't they?? Because he already spent too much on ours.
In the past Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj have been compared to each other. Gaga's larger than life persona found its hip-hop mirror image in Minaj, as both have a flair for big bold outfits, big bold voices, big bold hair and terrifying people at any given moment. In true superhero fashion, both have alter egos. Gaga has Jo Calderone, the hunchbacked Ralph Macchio looking so and so, while Nicki has Roman Zolanski. We don't quite know what this rebellious Brit looks like yet. He's been in "boarding school." Since their famous counterparts have been compared and contrasted, why not do the same for them?
+ Both have Twitter accounts. @JoCalderone and @RomanZolanski are not "verified accounts," but appear legit, even though both haven't been updated since summer ended. Do they have something against the autumn? More tweeting would up their props.
+ Both know Britney Spears. Jo tried to seduce Britney Spears during her Lifetime Achievement Award acceptance speech at this year's VMAs. Roman's big sister Nicki got to tour with Britney for the Femme Fatale Tour. As far as we know, no seduction happened there.
+ Both are miraculously different nationalities from counterparts. We're going to assume Jo Calderone is Puerto Rican (because Tego Calderon is), while Gaga is Italian. Roman Zolanski is British, while Nicki is from Queens (by way of Trinidad and Tobago).
+ Both hate their famed counterparts. As urban folklore would have it, Jo Calderone used to date Gaga until she dumped him. Roman Zolanski was put into boarding school at the request of his mother Martha, and Nicki did nothing to stop her.
+ Both have budding music careers. The talent must be self-genetic, right? Jo Calderone showed us his chops when he performed Gaga's "You and I" at the VMAs. Roman Zolanski dedicated a whole song to himself called "Roman's Revenge" and plans to drop another song within the next few weeks.
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You know by now Drake's new album Take Care has already hit the cyber streets, despite being slated for a Nov. 15 release. Since Sunday night, everyone from Young Money to Old Money has been speaking out about the album's premature evacuation and how unfortunate leaks are for today's recording artists. However, if Drake takes a deeper look at this, he'll find the silver lining...or in his case, the platinum lining.
1. Gives Him Something To Tweet About
When Drake isn't tweeting about himself or liquor or wifing someone up, he's retweeting. Constantly. That little button the Twitter whale bestowed upon us wasn't meant to be pushed more than a subway turnstile. "It's a great day!"--Drake retweets it. "I have gas!"--Drake retweets it. Since this album leaked, that's been the focus of his tweets...with a couple retweets about it too.
We don't have enough time to count how many words exist in the English language, but let's just say there are a lot. On top of all that, poetic license offers us the ability to invent words and make up new names. Somehow, somewhere, names repeat themselves or add variations that leave people confused. Here's a go-to guide of some frequently (and soon to be frequently) confused names of artists. This way you'll never buy the wrong album (you know, if you still do that sort of thing).