Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.
As "Guy Code" observed last season, being a geek is in -- everybody is a geek these days. Which is why countless thousands will attend San Diego Comic-Con. Lucky for the crowd, their favorite actors and writers from film and television will be there. Y'know, like the cast of "Guy Code," who'll be hosting "Guy Code Honors," a one-hour special airing on MTV and MTV2 July 21st at 8:00 pm ET/PT, giving props to the best of those movies and TV shows.
So while it'll be one hell of a good time, we're technically on the clock. To wind down after a hard day's work, here are the five Comic-Con panelists we'd love to take out for a beer. Seriously, if you guys are reading this, hit us up.
1. George R.R. Martin
Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images
Why does he have to kill everyone we love? Why? We just need to know. Plus, if he feels comfortable with us, maybe we can convince him to never kill anyone else with the last name Stark EVER AGAIN. Except Sansa...we probably wouldn't mind if she died. Read More...
Breakups suck. Even though we tell ourselves that we don't need a girl, they look good, they smell good and they sometimes put up with hours of our video game playing. Unfortunately, loves are sometimes short-lived and a real keeper decides not to stick around. The pain can be downright cruel.
But you're not alone, no matter how lonely you feel, because we've compiled 25 GIFs that just got dumped. The way these ladies and gents handle their breakups just might make you feel better about your past, present or future situation.
We already laid down the law on "The 5 Guys You Don't Want At A Super Bowl Party." Because there's no time to explain to amateurs that, yes, the teams can get points for kicking the ball through the square thingy, even though it's not soccer.
But equally important is whom you should invite for maximum enjoyability. Whiny girls are definitely out. So are frat d-bags who'll only yell smack in your ear the entire game; you need to be able to watch the NFL's biggest night in (relative) peace. Here's who you want at your pad for Super Bowl XLVII...
For more on the Super Bowl, watch "Guy Code" tonight at 11/10c on MTV2
Cock blocking is a shameful behavior for guys. Oh, for chicks it might be the sign of a good friend, but no dude stops his buddy from getting laid. (He's too drunk to notice the love handles and tramp stamp poking out of her low-cut jeans? It's cool. It's something for him to hold onto.)
But there are certain situations, however rare, when cock blocking is necessary for a friend's own good. Because guys value a select few things more than sex: self-respect, STD-free junk and staying out of jail.
1. She's A Grenade
This goes way past love handles and tramp stamps. Your friend has had too many tequila shots to notice her chin hairs and missing teeth. It's your duty to protect him from waking up to this creature; if you have to, sound the grenade whistle right in his ear.
For more on cock blocking, watch "Guy Code" Tuesday at 11/10c on MTV2
Aside from the obvious, ahem, assets the good Lord blessed our girl Melanie Iglesias with, she's giving Justin Bieber a run for his swag with the help of her fans. Beliebers? They're your target tweeters if you constantly want your Twitter feed filled up with hearts and the word swaggy spelled swaqqy. But Melievers? Now that's something we can get behind (pun possibly intended).
Team Melanie Iglesias--the self-proclaimed #1 fan source for this "Guy Code" expert--is run by Renette and Joecel. These two ladies keep fellow Melievers--or Melanie Iglesias fans who believe in her right to wear a bikini all day, every day, anytime she wants--up-to-date with everything #BigMamaMel, from her appearances and livestreams to hosting trivia contests. (They also campaign for a Melanie and Lisa Ramos spin-off show. We support this. It seems to have worked for Snooki & JWOWW.) We all could use some seriously s-e-x-y pictures of Ms. Iglesias filling up our Twitter feed to break up our boring workday--so what are you waiting for? Head over to @MelanieIgFans and click "follow" for the latest news and updates on one of your favorite "Guy Code" ladies. Join the cult. Become a Meliever.
Throughout the past two weeks, you voted for your favorite "Guy Code" Season 1 wisdom narrowing down the opponents until Melanie Iglesias won the tournament with her expert advice on sex--specifically, Getting Freaky. Head over to the "Guy Code" Facebook page to see her thank you video and nab that kiss she blows at the end (let's be honest, that's probably our closet shot at getting with her).
As promised, we also have your reward for voting in all five bracket rounds. Here is your exclusive sneak peek at the "Guy Code: Spring Break Survival Guide" airing Tuesday, April 10th at 11p/10c on MTV2. In this preview, Mike Posner lists his idea of a good ass spring break. We'll give you a hint: it involves beaches, boobs and booze. We can't think of anything else you'd need. Watch the video below and let us know your ideal spring break on Twitter!
It's that time, folks. On Wednesday, you narrowed down your favorite "Guy Code" Season 1 wisdom to our last two contenders and we have your Final Four results. Click the topics below to watch a video from each category and make sure to vote after the jump.
In Relationships vs. The Crew, Julian McCullogh battled his own advice with The Friend Zone vs. Wingman. Looks like our readers liked how he compared girls to Vietnam over his brutal honesty of girls not f***ing them—as Wingman took 58.33 percent of the votes.
In Sex vs. Upkeep, Sex continues to be the fan favorite, with Getting Freaky stealing 70.97 percent of the votes over Manscaping. We're hard-pressed not to side with anything the sexy Melanie Iglesias says, especially when it's her talking about getting horizontal. However, with Upkeep knocked off the bracket, we really hope you guys continue to keep up with your grooming--at least for the sake of those around you.
And there you have it, the final two. Will Sex continue to dominate, or can Julian hold his winning streak and MVP status by bringing home the trophy for The Crew? Vote now to determine the Championship winner of the first ever "Guy Code" Bracket of Wisdom. Check back on Monday for the results and keep an eye out next week for the unveiling of an exclusive clip from the upcoming special "Guy Code Spring Break Survival Guide" airing April 10 at 11 p.m. on MTV2.
Welcome to Round Three of the "Guy Code" Bracket Of Wisdom! On Monday, you narrowed down your favorite wisdom from Season 1 of the MTV2 hit show and we have your Elite Eight results. Click the topics below to watch video of the categories and make sure to vote for the Final Four after the cut.
In the Relationships division, The Friend Zone beat out Girlfriends with 58.6 percent of the votes. Looks like our readers may be stuck in unwanted territory. That or they all just think Julian McCullough is f***ing hilarious. In the fan-favorite division, Sex, Getting Freaky narrowly won this round with 51.55 percent of the votes over The Morning After. We assume you're all into weird kinks and totally in lust with Melanie Iglesias. We don't blame you.
In The Crew division, Wingman sweeps Pregame Etiquette away with 71.73 percent of the vote. Yet another double win for all-star representative McCullough. Looks like we might have a tournament MVP on our hands. And finally in Upkeep's division, it seems our readers got over their body image issues, choosing Manscaping over Dieting with roughly 66 percent of the votes.
Vote to determine the Championship contenders and remember to check back on Friday, March 30 for the results and the Final Two round of voting. At the end of this tournament, we will unlock an exclusive clip from the upcoming special "Guy Code Spring Break Survival Guide" premiering April 10 at 11 p.m. on MTV2. Read More...
"Guy Code" gives you advice straight. As the first ever playbook for guys to follow, they don't sugar coat anything. They talk about topics like manscaping so that you never, ever, have to ask a guy at the gym how he trims his pubic hairs. You're welcome. MTV Clutch got together with our friends at MTV2 to bring you the "Guy Code" Bracket of Wisdom. We took 16 topics from the show and split them into four categories: Relationships, The Crew, Sex and Upkeep. You get the chance to vote for your favorite advice from our all-star think tank and at the end of the tournament we'll unlock an exclusive clip from the upcoming special "Guy Code Spring Break Survival Guide" premiering April 10th at 11pm on MTV2.
The Sweet 16 begins Round One of the tournament. Note: the following is best read in a ready-to-rumble announcer voice. Battling it out in Relationships is Girlfriends versus Cheating and The Friend Zone versus Dating Your Best Friend's Ex. Over in Sex, we have Sexting versus The Morning After and Getting Freaky versus Contraception. In The Crew's corner, it's Drinking Like A Man versus Pre-Game Etiquette and Fighting versus Wingman. And finally, fighting it out in Upkeep is Dieting versus Bachelor Pad and Bathroom Products versus Manscaping. Which topics feature your favorite words of wisdom? Let the voting begin!
To find out which pieces advice make it to round two of Guy Code's Bracket Of Wisdom, come back to MTV Clutch this Monday, March 26th to vote between the Elite 8.
Spring is here early this year. The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping, the bees are buzzing and lust is in the air. There's no running to your lover in a field of daisies with these GIFs. It's more like sweaty, crazy, monstrous, coffee-table-breaking f***ing. Just look at Ke$ha's face. There's an animal lurking in those eyes. It might just be the whiskey talking, but either way, could you turn a look like that down? How about a seducing wink? Or a lick of the lips? We're men. That simple sentence is enough explanation for women as to why our brains are trained to think that the slightest look from a female means she wants to rip off our shirt. Well, these GIFs actually want to rip your shirt off--and your pants and your boxers and your shoes and your socks. Take a look.