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Welcome to GUY CODE, the official blog of MTV2's "Guy Code" series and your online destination for all things dude, including—but not limited to—irreverent commentary on sports, hip-hop and ladies. Stay awhile and flex your manhood.

The Wolfpack is back for another hedonistic bachelor party peppered with strippers, drugs and amnesia. Yes, "The Hangover Part II" hits theaters this week and we'll be there on opening night, even though it looks like the same exact movie except the hosting city changed from Las Vegas, Nevada, to Bangkok, Thailand. (Also, gentleman, remember you must always be on guard if someone asks you the capital of Thailand.)

The crew has reassembled this time for Stu's (Ed Helms) wedding, which will be held in Bangkok. Hoping for a more subdued event, Stu hasn’t realized that unlike Vegas, Bangkok gives you more bang for your buck with just as much temptation. But is going Thai really a better choice for your bachelor party or the one you're planning? Take our Vegas versus Bangkok quiz to find out which city is your ultimate bachelor party destination.

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Destined blockbuster "Kung Fu Panda 2" hits theaters next week, and as with most successful Hollywood franchises, the star-studded cast, which includes Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen and Dustin Hoffman, have returned to reprise their roles and make bank at the weekend box office. Jack Black is back, too, of course. We don't think there was ever any question whether he would again lend his voice to the lead character, Po; his pipes made the character so lovable in the first place. (And any time the entertainment biz tries to pull off a voice-acting switcheroo, the result is usually horribly, unwatchably wrong.)

But, by the looks of some of our favorite A-list ladies, Black's job security maybe wasn't always such a lock. Why else would these 13 sexy celebrities appear to be auditioning for the role of the cartoon's panda protagonist? See what we mean after the jump.

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In his new memoir "American Outlaw," Jesse James reveals how he finally broke the news of his many, many infidelities to his then wife, beautiful Oscar winner Sandra Bullock. In a somewhat noble move, the reality TV star and West Coast Choppers entrepreneur fessed up to his tomcat ways right to Sandy's face, without making any excuses (or so he claims).

Not that we're endorsing James' creepin', but you've got to give it to the guy: Breaking that kind of news in person takes a pair. We'd rather sit in an enclosed sauna as Courtney Love urinates on the hot coals (you know she'd do it) than have to make a mea culpa like that.

So, for all you sauna-loving folk who prefer a more cowardly yet creative way out of a relationship, here are a few ideas.

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It's almost that time again! The day used as an excuse to wear ridiculous Princess Beatrice-style hats, get drunk at midday and spend copious amounts is just a heartbeat away. No, not St. Patrick’s Day (we wish), we're talking about the 2011 Kentucky Derby on May 7: one of the biggest sporting events on the calendar.

Famous for mint juleps and horses with insanely creative names, this all-day-long event culminates to a mere two minutes of action known as "The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports." Really? We don't quite think a bunch of short dudes wailing on nonhuman athletes as they hurtle toward a finish line actually deserves that title. But we can think of 10 others that probably do.

1. Tiger Sinks Youngest Masters Championship Putt (1997)

Remember when Tiger Woods was famous for playing golf? No? Well, here is arguably the biggest moment of his career, way back in the '90s, when he became the youngest ever Masters Champion with a final 12-stroke lead; catapulting him to stardom and a Florida mansion.

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The Royal Wedding may be the highlight of your grandma's social calendar, but, frankly, most of us are pretty sick of the whole shebang. Who cares whether Victoria Beckham can't find a maternity gown to wear? And who cares whether Kate Middle-Class will ride down the aisle on a dragon from one of the Harry Potter films? When it comes to the Royal Wedding, the only thing that's really worth our attention is the load of viral video spoofs out there. So lets take a look at some of the good 'uns…
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PR stunt or genuine interest in 18-month-old talent? That's the question one must ask after the Dutch soccer club VVV Venlo signed one-year-old Baerke van der Meij to a 10-year professional contract.

Baerke van der Meij became a YouTube sensation after videos of him kicking balls into a toy box were blasted all over the internet. His talent is thought to come from his grandfather--Jan van der Meij--who was a midfielder for VVV Venlo way back in the '60s. Jumping at the chance to make some headlines, the Dutch soccer club promptly signed him up, masterfully crafting his signature to paper for the first time, before celebrating the happy occasion with some orange juice (and I’m sure, nap time).

Baerke has yet to comment on his recent success story, or communicate his preferred position, as he hasn't yet learned how to talk.

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It may be no surprise that the upcoming movie "Fast Five," the fifth installment in the "Fast and The Furious franchise," was in fact written by 5-year-old Chris Morgan. This talented little guy created the impressive screenplay with the concept that he "wanted the cars to drive fast and then some of them explode." In this rare interview with the Onion News Network, he also hinted that there will be a further 600 "Fast and The Furious" movies added to the franchise, indicating that Chris' creative juices are only just beginning to flow.


Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"

"The Fast and The Furious" movies haven't been Chris Morgan's only projects, as it was revealed that he was also responsible for the hit movie "Wanted," starring Angelina Jolie. Clearly, 5-year-old boys have been behind a lot more screenplays than Hollywood is willing to admit. We have the particular suspicion that they're also behind these movies.

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There are some things in life that school, parents or The Discovery Channel just can't teach us. Sure, if you're ever on "Jeopardy!" then it may be useful to know the capital of Kyrgyzstan or the author of "War and Peace," but for everything else, there can only be one reliable authoritah: "South Park."

Over the last 14 years, "South Park" has bridged the educational gap and raised awareness of some of the more taboo but important issues in society. Now in its 15th season (it premieres tomorrow!), the show has not only broadened our minds, but also our vocabulary. Just take a look at some of the words "South Park" has added to our vocabulary...
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In a recent interview about his upcoming movie "Water for Elephants," the translucent-skinned vampire Robert Pattinson admitted the unthinkable--crying during a sex scene with Reese Witherspoon. The tears weren't of shame, but of happiness, he said. "I'm totally OK with crying at her beauty."

He shouldn't be. Even though we girls claim to want a guy with a fully functioning sensitivity chip, the truth is, we'd much rather have a Rambo than a Romeo. Forget the lyrical gushings of Bruno Mars--we don't care if you'll catch a grenade for us or take a bullet to the brain; we'd rather have a guy who can change a flat tire or fix a blown fuse. To us, a good man is the equivalent of a personal handyman who's on-call 24/7.

Of course, those services won't go unrewarded, which is why we repay you (in the bedroom and kitchen). If you and your friends are watching football at home, then we'll gladly play the role of hostess and provide an endless supply of beer and snacks. All we ask in return is that you carry some shopping bags every now and then. And please, don't try to provide fashion advice. If we ask you how we look in something, we're just looking for a compliment, not your actual opinion.

So take note, Robert Pattinson; an ideal caveman should never use baby talk, engage in excessive PDA or, God forbid, cry. And if he has to, it better be because of sports.

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